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****The Spiritual Journey Toward a Healed Marriageby Charlyne Steinkamp Reviewed December 17, 2006.
Rejoice Ministries, After several
months of enjoying
daily devotional e-mails from www.rejoiceministries.org,
I ordered several of their books to encourage me to continue standing
for my
marriage. 21 years ago,
Charlyne and
Bob Steinkamp were divorced. Charlyne
had divorced him because of unfaithfulness. Then
she began praying and reading the Bible, and learned
how God hates
divorce. She began standing for her
marriage, praying daily that Bob would repent and come back to her and
come
back to God. Two years
after they
divorced, when he was making plans to marry the other woman, instead
Bob got
remarried to Charlyne, almost on the spur of the moment.
Now, nineteen years later, they have a
thriving ministry with the message, “God heals hurting marriages.” If you are
having marital
troubles, I highly recommend these books and their website. People will tell you there are times when you
need to “look out for yourself” and “move on.” And
they can talk about “Biblical grounds,” and there are
probably many
times when it is justified. So I’m not
trying to judge anyone who’s divorced. I
know better than anyone that it takes two to make a marriage, but only
one to
make a divorce. However, Charlyne and
Bob Steinkamp, and the Word of God (which they consistently point to)
convinced
me in my case that I want to stand for my covenant marriage and
continue to
pray daily for my husband. If you make
such a choice,
these books are wonderfully encouraging. Yes,
they are self-published, and there are quite a few
typos. There’s not really an overall
organization to
the ideas presented. But I found it
delightful to read a chapter or two every morning, to encourage me and
keep me
going. Many times it was as if God had
spoken directly to me that morning through this book. Here are some
of her
encouraging words: “I am writing
this book to
help people around the world to believe in the power of God and power
of
prayer. My prayer is that every word I
write shows you that nothing is too hard for your Lord God to fix. Yes, I said ‘nothing’ is too
hard for the Creator, the Counselor and the Great
Physician who can touch and change your heart and then go touch and
work on
your spouse’s heart.” “I pray that
out of your
tragedy, your despair, your pain, your shame and the rejection that you
are
going through, you will meet your Abba, Father in a new way. Once you meet him this way, you will never
want to go back.” “Go to the
Lord and ask him
what to do! He will speak to you, guide
you, provide for you and direct your every step!” “Every time
you pray and do
devotions ask the Lord to speak to you. If
your devotions especially speak to your heart or seem
to leap off the
page, God is speaking to you.” “All of you
have been hurt,
wounded and abandoned by someone that you deeply love.
Because of the pain, hurt and rejection you
have been going through, the enemy may use anger, bitterness and hatred
to come
into your own life. Beware of the
enemy’s tricks. Know who the enemy
is. It is not your spouse—they have been
deceived and taken captive by the enemy.” “Ask the Lord
to give you the
spirit of forgiveness in your heart. Ask
the Lord to come and heal your wounded broken heart.
Forgiveness is an act and a process. Your
heart can be transformed by your Lord
God starting today.” “Many of you
ask, ‘How can I
believe that God can change my spouse when my spouse says, “I will
never, never
come back. I have never really loved
you. I have put this off for years. You need to get on with your life as I am with
mine. I do not care what God or the
Bible says, you cannot change my mind.”’ “Bob and I
cannot possibly
write all the words that a prodigal will say to destroy all hope or
faith in
order that you will stop trying to change their mind or heart to return
home. Bob and I understand why so often
we receive mail and emails questioning, due to your personal
circumstances,
‘Should I just get on with my life and give up?’” “I believe
the Lord is asking
each of you to become an intercessor for your spouse and then for all
the
prodigals around the world who are in the far country living a life of
sin.” “Don’t give
up! God is moving every day in different
ways. Just keep growing and maturing in
the Lord.” “I am certain
that any and
all prodigals who have returned home (and there are many) are very
thankful
that their spouse did not give up on them! Don’t
give up on your spouse! God
is able!” “When you
receive a promise
from God, hang on to it, believe it. Write
the scripture or promise down in your journal. Also,
write it in your Bible, put the date
next to the scripture and/or put the person’s name next to it. You can walk through the deep waters of
marriage problems because your Lord Jesus is carrying you in His arms.” “God promises
He will never
leave you or forsake you. Do you believe
Him when you are going through a raging storm or you are in the darkest
time or
hour of your life?” “Ask the Lord
what He wants
you to do and then do it!! Become
burdened for your spouse who is deceived and blinded by the enemy. Stand firm and pray, believing your Lord
Jesus Christ will call your spouse’s name, leaving the ninety-nine
sheep to
going after the one lost sheep. Do not
give up on your spouse. Be burdened for
their salvation. You may be the only one
that will NOT stop praying for their soul.” “Often the
enemy hits the
stander with anger, bitterness, doubt, unbelief, jealousy, weariness
and
loneliness. How long should anyone wait
for their spouse to come home? How long
does the Lord wait for us to come home to Him? He
often waits a lifetime for many of His children to come
home.” “Yes, you may
have to die to
your selfish desires of having a spouse meet your daily needs, but you
Lord can
meet them instead…. Did you marry for a
lifetime, or only for a season? When you
said your marriage vows did you mean them, ‘For better or worse, richer
or
poorer, in sickness and in health?’ I
can say that in our marriage we have experienced each of these areas. We have a covenant marriage with our
Lord. I praise the Lord regularly that
He gave me a second, third and fourth chance when I was being
disobedient
during our marriage separation. I was so
mad and angry at Bob and at God for allowing Bob to treat me so badly. I have to admit I was mad at God when He did
not just ‘zap’ Bob out of his sinfulness or that He did not punish him
for his
sins! Have you ever thought those thoughts? If you have, just stop and repent to your
Lord. He understands and He still loves
you.” “Mothers and
Fathers, God is
asking you to stand in the gap for restoration of your marriage so that
you
will NOT pass on separation and divorce for generations to come. May you pass on to your children the heritage
and legacy of being a powerful prayer warrior, a man or woman of God,
an
intercessor for your nation, a man or woman of faith believing in
miracles for
God to heal bodies from diseases as well as marriages.” “One of the
scriptures that
the Lord gave me early in my standing and praying for Bob was I
Corinthians
13:4-8. I used to pray both Bob and my
name in it daily. I found out that I did
not show the unconditional love of the Bible to Bob before we were
divorced. The Lord showed me I had kept
a record of wrongs and held grudges. The
Lord taught me that I had to walk in unconditional love regardless of
Bob’s
behavior. I was only responsible for my
own behavior. I had a choice to treat
him with ‘tough love’ or love him as Jesus would.” As you can
see, this isn’t a
book that will tell you you’ve taken enough and you should now get on
with your
life! But it is a book about all that
God can do, and is tremendously encouraging. The Prodigal's Perspective Your Father Knows Best Copyright © 2006 Sondra Eklund. All
rights reserved. |