Knucklehead

Tall Tales & Mostly True Stories About Growing Up Scieszka

by Jon Scieszka

Viking, 2008.  106 pages.

Starred Review

www.penguin.com/youngreaders

Now we know how Jon Scieszka got so funny!  He grew up with five brothers.

I got to hear the author read from this book at the National Book Festival in September, so I knew I simply had to read the book myself.  It turned out that the parts he read were by no means the only hilarious parts.

The cover is like a comic book.  The chapters are short.  And funny.  The whole thing is beautifully designed to draw kids in and not let them go.

Now, I have seven brothers myself (but six sisters — which makes a big difference!), so he couldn’t really surprise me with his stories.  His take on the mayhem and the bright ideas six boys can come up with are invariably hilarious.  Several chapters end with a “Knucklehead Warning:  Do not try this at home . . . or anywhere else.”  (But he makes them sound so much fun!)

I love the babysitting chapter.  Why didn’t we think of this?

“We didn’t get paid for babysitting.  Until one day Jim and I figured out a great way to make a little money on the job.

“We were watching Jeff.  He had rolled under a chair and got stuck.  We dragged him out and stood him up holding on to the coffee table.  And that’s when Jeff spotted the ashtray.

“We watched Jeff grab a cigarette butt.

“We watched Jeff put it in his mouth.

“We watched Jeff chew the butt, make a crazy face, then spit it out.

“Jim and I cracked up laughing.

“Then we gave Jeff another butt and watched him do it all over again.

“It was such a great trick that we charged all of our friends ten cents to watch.”

I also love his chapter about learning to read.  He talks about the very strange family he read about in school.

“The alien kids were named Dick and Jane.  Strangest kids I ever heard of. . . .

“When I read the Dick and Jane stories, I thought they were afraid they might forget each other’s names.  Because they always said each other’s names.  A lot.

“So if Jane didn’t see the dog, Dick would say, ‘Look Jane.  Look.  There is the dog next to Sally, Jane.  The dog is also next to Mother, Jane.  The dog is next to Father, Jane.  Ha, ha, ha.  That is funny, Jane.’

“Did I mention that Dick and Jane also had a terrible sense of humor?

“At home my mom read me real stories.  These were stories that sounded like my life.  These were stories that made sense.  She read me a story about a guy named Sam.  Sam-I-am.  He was a fan of green eggs and ham.

“And then there was the story about the dogs.  Blue dogs.  Yellow dogs.  Dogs that were up.  Dogs that were down.  Dogs that drove around in cars and met each other at the end of the book for a giant party in a tree.  I cheered them on.  Go, dogs.  Go!  I read about them all by myself because I wanted to.  Go, dogs.  Go!

“So I guess I didn’t really learn to read by reading about those weirdos Dick and Jane.  I learned to read because I wanted to find out more about real things like dogs in cars and cats in hats.”

This book is tremendous fun.  Jon Scieszka is the first National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature, with a special mission to Reach the Reluctant Reader.  This book will do that beautifully.  What kid (or adult) could resist?

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Millie in the Snow

by Alexander Steffensmeier

Walker & Company, New York, 2008.  First published in Germany in 2007 as Lieselotte im Schnee.  28 pages.

Starred Review

http://www.walkeryoungreaders.com/

Millie’s back!  Hooray!

Millie the bovine mail carrier stars in a new silly story, this time about Christmas.  Originally written in Germany, I was delighted by the pictures, bringing back memories of German Christmases.

Millie no longer ambushes the mail carrier.  Now she assists him.  At Christmastime, they are busier than ever.  However, Millie has trouble finding her way home in the deep snow, and the packages lose their tags.

Once again, the hilarity of this book is primarily contained in the amazingly expressive illustrations.  As a bonus, along with the exuberantly illustrated main story, there are multiple antics taking place in the background.

Millie is not your typical cow, and this is not your typical Christmas book.

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Punished!

by David Lubar

Darby Creek Publishing, 2006.  96 pages.

http://www.davidlubar.com/

http://www.darbycreekpublishing.com/

Logan knew he shouldn’t run in the library.  But how can you keep from it when your friend tags you It?  He certainly didn’t mean to run into that old guy who looked like a retired teacher.

Logan tries to apologize, but the man says maybe he needs to be punished, and blows some book dust on him.  When Logan leaves the library, suddenly everything he says gets people groaning or giggling.

It takes Logan awhile to figure out that every sentence he utters comes out as a bad pun.  Soon the old man isn’t the only one planning to punish him.

Logan’s only way to lift the curse involves finding oxymorons, anagrams, and palindromes.  If he can’t find the required number in time, he will be cursed to spout puns forever.

This book celebrates word play in a way that invites the reader to try it for yourself.  It’s a nice quick read for groan boys and girls ready for full-fledged chapter books.  Silly fun with silly puns!

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www.sonderbooks.com/Childrens_Fiction/punished.html

 

Alvin Ho

Allergic to Girls, School, and Other Scary Things

by Lenore Look

pictures by LeUyen Pham

Schwartz & Wade Books, New York, 2008.  172 pages.

Alvin Ho: Allergic to Girls, School, and Other Scary Things, reminded me of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, only for younger kids.  It has similar cartoon drawings generously illustrating the story, and a similar attitude toward school.

Alvin Ho is starting the second grade.  He does not like school.  He says, “If there were no school, my troubles would blast away, just like that.  I would dig holes all day.  I would play catch with my gunggung.  I would watch cooking shows.  I would keep an eye on things.  It would be fantastic!”

Alvin tells us that before he went to school, he was a superhero.  “I was Firecracker Man!  I ran around our house, full speed ahead, screaming at the top of my lungs while beating on a garbage can lid.  I was as noisy as a firecracker on Chinese New Year! . . .

“But now I am Firecracker Man only on weekends and holidays.  There is just no time for it.

“Being a superhero is hard work.  You have to save the world.  But going to school is even harder.  You have to save yourself.  Most days I can hardly even make it to the school bus.  And when I arrive at school, I can’t think.  I can’t read.  I can’t smile.  I can’t sing.  I can’t scream.

“I can’t even talk.”

It turns out that Alvin has never said one word at school.  He can talk anywhere else, even on the school bus.  But at school, his voice simply doesn’t work.

Not talking at school makes it hard to make friends.  It makes it hard to avoid annoying girls who want to be your desk buddy.  It makes it hard to join in a game of Minutemen and Redcoats.  It makes it hard to explain to a substitute teacher why you aren’t responding to her questions.

This book is a lot of fun, with a nice set of school-related scrapes, and Alvin learning to confront his fears. 

I did think the chicken pox adventure, where the whole class gets chicken pox after paying to visit the first kid who caught it, was funny, but sadly out of date.  My 14-year-old son was required to get a chicken pox vaccination before he went to school, and I think that’s pretty standard now.  So today’s children, poor things, will never know the joys of two weeks off of school along with the fun of showing off ones spots.

There are some great quirky characters.  Alvin’s Dad likes to use Shakespearean imprecations when he’s angry.  The annoying girl Flea wears an eyepatch.  Alvin’s sister loves to dig holes.  And Alvin himself is a big collection of entertaining quirks.

Alvin Ho is longer than a beginning chapter book, but makes fun, non-threatening reading with lots of pictures for a kid ready to laugh at the trials and tribulations of facing scary things like school and bullies and girls.

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by Kate DiCamillo

illustrated by Chris Van Dusen

Candlewick Press, Cambridge, Massachusetts, 2008.  74 pages.

Here’s another book perfect for a beginning reader who’s ready for chapters.  Mercy Watson Thinks Like a Pig has 15 very short chapters.  The pages are loaded with colorful, hilarious illustrations.

Mercy Watson is a pig, a porcine wonder.  She is treated like a person by Mr. and Mrs. Watson, but sometimes she indeed acts like a pig.  For example, when she smells the flowers her next door neighbors have planted, she can’t resist eating them.  This prompts Eugenia Lincoln to call Animal Control Officer Francine Poulet, who has never dealt with a pig before.

In the hilarious chain of events that ensues, you can be sure that Mr. and Mrs. Watson retain their shining faith in their sweet Mercy, and that there is plenty of buttered toast.

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The Uncommon Reader

by Alan Bennett

Farrar, Straus and Giroux, New York, 2007.  120 pages.

It was the dogs’ fault.  The Queen of England’s dogs lost control of themselves and ran into the City of Westminster travelling library.  Once there, the Queen felt obligated to borrow a book.  Once she had the book, the Queen started reading it.  Once she started reading, she finished it.

“That was the way one was brought up.  Books, bread and butter, mashed potato — one finishes what’s on one’s plate.  That’s always been my philosophy.”

One book leads to another, and another. . . .  The Queen learns all kinds of places and times she can fit reading into her life.

“She’d got quite good at reading and waving, the trick being to keep the book below the level of the window and to keep focused on it and not on the crowds.  The duke didn’t like it one bit, of course, but goodness it helped.”

Unfortunately, the Queen’s new habit causes great consternation among her staff.  Then drastic changes in her habits, her conversations, and even her outlook on life.

This book was chosen as the All Fairfax Reads selection for 2008.  It celebrates the joys of reading and the way reading can change a life.  The book is short and humorous and good fun.  Some food for thought as well!

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www.sonderbooks.com/Fiction/uncommon_reader.html

The Complete Peanuts:  1967 to 1968:  Dailies and Sundays:  The Definitive Collection of Charles M. Schulz’s Comic Strip Masterpiece

by Charles M. Schulz

introduction by John Waters

Fantagraphics Books, 2008.  325 pages.

Hooray for Fantagraphics Books!  This is now the ninth volume of The Complete Peanuts series, publishing every single comic strip from Peanuts, from the day it began in 1950.

In the 1967 to 1968 volume, we’re getting into the classic Peanuts that I knew and loved as a little girl.

There’s a strip that I think epitomizes this golden age of Peanuts:  Franklin comes into the neighborhood, looking for Charlie Brown.  He meets Lucy in her psychiatrist booth and Snoopy wearing his Red Baron goggles.  When Linus tries to tell him about the Great Pumpkin, that’s the last straw.  Franklin can’t handle it.  As Franklin tells this to Charlie Brown, Schroeder comes up and says, “Hi!  Did you guys know there are only sixty more days until Beethoven’s birthday?”  Franklin’s comment is “Like, wow!”  (Remember, this is the Sixties.)

Yes, in this period, each character was fully into his own neuroses.

I was also surprised to discover, in this volume, a strip about military musicians.  Naturally, it’s between Lucy and Schroeder:

Lucy says, “In a way, you’re quite lucky Schroeder..  If you ever go into the army, they won’t put you in the front lines…  You could play the piano for the officers while they eat!”

Schroeder’s reaction?  AAUGH!

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Aristotle and an Aardvark Go to Washington:  Understanding Political Doublespeak Through Philosophy and Jokes, by Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein

Abrams Image, New York, 2007.  191 pages.

http://www.aristotleandanaardvark.com/

http://www.platoandaplatypus.com/

http://www.abramsimage.com/

http://www.hnabooks.com/

Here’s a book about logic, explaining formal and informal fallacies.  Doesn’t that sound delightful?  Oh, perhaps I’m in the minority with that opinion.

However, where your run-of-the-mill logic textbook will illustrate its points with p’s and q’s and made-up arguments, this book uses statements made by actual politicians to illustrate the fallacies.  Where those don’t make the point clearly enough, they’ve also used jokes.

The authors say themselves:

“The field of logic — much of it rooted in the writings of the early Greeks — demonstrates what rules need to be followed to go from true propositions to correct conclusions.  Or to put it the other way around, it shows how we can be tricked by logical fallacies, what logicians call formal fallacies.  Epistemology instructs us in what we can deem knowable and why, including how we can sensibly talk about what we are able to know.  That field has given rise to conceptual analysis, a rigorous technique for analyzing language and, well, digging out bullshit in all its varieties.  As to rhetoric and psychology, they show how our minds and emotions can be manipulated by loaded language. . . .

“But hold the phone!  Lest anyone think this stuff is dry as a prairie patty, you should know that we are of the Philogag School of Philosophy, the school that maintains that any philosophical concept worth understanding has a great gag lurking inside it.  As we shovel our way through the political patty field, we will uncover not only deceptions, but — more importantly — jokes that point at them and say ‘Gotcha!’”

I challenge anyone to read this book without laughing out loud!

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This review is posted on the main site at:

www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/aristotle_aardvark.html

Thank You, Jeeves, by P. G. Wodehouse, performed by Alexander Spencer

Recorded Books, 1984.  Originially published in 1934.  6 compact discs, 6 hours.

I’ve decided that the ultimate audiobook for a long drive is anything by P. G. Wodehouse, read by someone like Alexander Spencer, with an exquisite English accent.  When you’re laughing out loud, you can’t possibly fall asleep at the wheel.

I think of P. G. Wodehouse as the Seinfeld of 1930’s England.  The rich young gentlemen get into elaborately entangled comic situations, which all come together for a big laugh in the end.

In Thank You, Jeeves, Bertie Wooster actually accepts Jeeves’ resignation.  Bertie is dedicating himself to playing the banjolele, and Jeeves cannot tolerate it.  However, they both end up in Chuffnall Regis, where Bertie’s old school friend, Chuffy (Lord Chuffnall), is falling in love with Pauline Stoker, a millionaire’s daughter who was once engaged to Bertie.

In the mess that results, involving captivity on a yacht, sleeping in sheds, a chase with a chopper, a cottage on fire, black-faced minstrels, and the temptations of kippered herring, only Jeeves has the brain capable of sorting things out and orchestrating a happy ending for everyone.

While I was in the middle of listening to this book, I found myself thinking about heliotrope pajamas.  You see, Bertie finds Pauline Stoker in his bed, wearing his heliotrope pajamas, and finds her quite fetching.  Doesn’t the phrase “heliotrope pajamas” have a ring to it?  (All the more so when you’ve been listening to it rather than merely reading it.  I found myself saying the phrase over to myself.)

I mused, “I wonder what color exactly are heliotrope pajamas?”  Well, my son heard me, and looked up heliotrope on Wikipedia.   ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heliotrope_%28color%29 )  He showed me exactly the shade.  (I pretty much had it right, for the record!)  But he looked at the references to “Heliotrope in popular culture” and was surprised to find exactly the scene I had mentioned:  “In Thank You, Jeeves, Bertie Wooster returns home to find Pauline Stoker in his heliotrope pajamas after swimming ashore from her father’s yacht.”

So you see, not only can you get lots of laughs, you can also learn the full story of the legendary heliotrope pajamas of Bertie Wooster.

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The Sweet Potato Queens’ Field Guide to Men:  Every Man I Love Is Either Married, Gay, or Dead, by Jill Conner Browne

Well, this book is very irreverent and, how shall I say this?  Not very respectful toward men.  But oh my goodness, it is funny! 

As the author says herownself:  “The reader should not infer any degree of fairness intended by these descriptions; they are used purely for the sake of conversation and, we hope, for laughs.  It is not in my job description to be fair to men or to even seem fair to them.  It’s a little late in the history of the entire world to introduce an element of fairness, and beyond even my considerable powers to bring it to bear, anyway.”

She goes on to describe, with great hilarity, many types of men you’ll find out there:  The Bud Spud, the Dud Spud, the Crud Spud, the Fuddy-Dud Spud, the Pud Spud, the Blood Spud (also known as the Man Who May Need Killing), the Scud Spud, and finally every woman’s dream, the Spud Stud.

And so it goes.  I should mention that Jill Conner Browne does not confine herself to mocking men, but also gives plenty of hearty laughter toward those of us who love them — and the things we’ll go through to try to attract them.

I’m afraid, in my present Being-Divorced state, the chapter I found most utterly hilarious was “Surviving the Wang Wars” about all the delightful ways women have gotten revenge on men who didn’t treat them as well as they deserved.

“Alas and alack, love does occasionally derail, and when it does, it usually wipes out entire neighborhoods, releases a massive cloud of terminally toxic gas, and the cleanup can take years.  And while it may be true that it is not always their fault when things go awry, it is no less true that we certainly believe that it’s always their fault and we want 100 percent of all the blame to be laid not so much at their feet but rather on top of their bodies, making it impossible for them to breathe and continue living in any real sense of the word.  What would really make us just oh so happy is to be allowed to murder them ten different times in ten different ways and then finally feed the remains to the wood chipper.  But hardly anybody ever really gets to do that.  And so, barring that ultimate satisfaction, a number of Queens have demonstrated characteristic Queenly Resourcefulness in their dealings with errant mates in ways that are not likely to land the perpetrator in the slammer, and that’s a Good Thing.  I share them with you as food for thought — fodder for your consideration as alternative strategies should you find yourself currently in possession of a man who is just beggin’ to be killed.”

Now, I should mention that the Sweet Potato Queens do not advocate criminal activity.   Jill Conner Browne says, “Even in Louisiana they will sometimes put you in jail if you kill one.  We’ve stated repeatedly that we are unequivocally against killin’ ‘em, even when they practically beg for it by their every word and deed.  If you do, you will miss quite a few St. Paddy’s parades in Jackson while running from the law, and you’ll be a Yam on the Lam.”

if you’re feeling tempted to commit violence, The Sweet Potato Queens will get you laughing so hard about it, you won’t need to any longer.

With lots of silly but all too true insights, I think the uplifting message of the book is summarized in this paragraph:

“Throughout this book, I’ve been carrying on about men and finding them and getting them and keeping them and deciding whether or not to kill them, and if so, how, and so on.  And that’s all funny and mostly true and all that, but the real truth is you are enough — just the way you are, just who you are.  You are a complete entity, a whole person, right there in the skin you’re in.  You don’t need to have a guy to be happy.  Admit it:  You have more fun with a gang of girlfriends than you’ve had on the absolute best date of your entire life.  If somebody comes along who treats you right and makes you happy and you can do the same for him, well, that’s just dandy.  But I’m telling you, the only way that I know to get and keep a happy, healthy relationship is first to create a happy and healthy life for yourself without one.  This is your life to live.”

Preach it, Sister!

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