135. Waiting

My small group and I are going through a book by Mike Mason called Champagne for the Soul: Rediscovering God’s Gift of Joy. One sentence from today’s selection really struck me:

Wailting, it turns out, is a joyful activity in itself.

One reason it struck me is that I’ve long believed you should never ever pray for patience, because then you will be given opportunities where you need to be patient. But I believe a great substitute prayer is to pray to enjoy the moment.

Another reason it struck me is that today is six years from the day my divorce was final.

And waiting ties in with that. After I found out my husband was seeing someone else, when we were still living together and I was still desperately hoping to patch things up (more than eleven years ago), I asked God, desperately, “Lord, why don’t you please fix this NOW?”

There were many, many times I felt God spoke to me during the whole awful divorce process. But that time was the first time. For the next week, every time I opened my Bible or a Christian book, I read the words, “Wait on the Lord.”

More recently, after my youngest moved out and I was facing the empty nest, I asked God if I should go back to online dating. I feel very ready to be dating again, and very ready to be married again.

But I felt like God’s answer was, “Wait. I’ve got this. Wait.”

And you know what’s interesting about waiting? It does help you notice what you have now.

If I’d gone straight into a new relationship, I wouldn’t have this home by a lake, where I can walk and see beautiful things. And I’m going to have to leave it if I ever get married again — there just isn’t room for someone else’s stuff!

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In fact, the whole eleven years’ waiting process — It brought me closer in my relationship with God than ever before in my life. I can honestly say I’m thankful for it. (Though I wouldn’t volunteer to go through it again!)

Even now, I’m on an award committee and need to read during every possible spare moment for three months solid. And you know what? Reading during every spare minute is much easier to do when you’re not in a relationship. I’m also hoping to be on the 2019 Newbery Committee and reading during all of the year 2018. That, too will be easier to do if I am not in a relationship.

But may I enjoy the wait. And may I treasure these moments.

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