Normal Negative Feelings

“Disappointment, sadness, anxiety, and distress are part of everyday living.  Only if they stimulate core hurts that are blamed on someone else will they become anger.

“Disappointment means you didn’t get something you wanted.  It doesn’t mean that you are unworthy of it, it just means you didn’t get it.

“Sadness means you’ve lost something.  It doesn’t mean that you are unlovable, it just means that you lost something.

“Anxiety is a dread that something bad might happen.  It does not tell you that you are bad; it tells you to pay attention to a problem, so you can solve it.

“Distress means that you are currently overloaded in emotional response.  It doesn’t mean that you are inadequate, it means your overexcited emotional circuits need a moment to calm.  HEALS will do the trick quickly.”

— Steven Stosny, Manual of the Core Value Workshop, p. 40

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