Abuse and Blame

Women have been blamed by society for their unhappiness while being told by their abusers that they have nothing to complain about. Verbal abuse seems so inhuman, so bizarre to anyone seeking mutuality in a relationship that, no matter how deeply she understands that an abuser abuses because he abuses and not because of her, the survivor will almost always find it incredible that any human being would treat another that way. She will conclude, “He wouldn’t do this for no reason at all.” This is why the partner is confused by blame. It is as if she is just not something enough.

— Patricia Evans, Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out, p. 86

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