If staring ever becomes an Olympic event I’ll be bringing home the gold.  While other people go to work, I stare out the window.  I stare at my dog.  I stare at blank pieces of paper and paragraphs and single sentences and a buzzing computer screen.  Hours and hours of my day are spent with my eyes glazed over, thinking, waiting, trying to figure things out.  The muse is a sweet idea, like the tooth fairy.  The muse supposedly comes down like lighting and fills your fingers with the necessary voltage to type up something brilliant.  But nobody ever made a living depending on a muse.  The rest of us have to go out and find our inspiration, write and rewrite, stare and stare and stare until we know which way to turn.

– Ann Patchett, What Now? p. 43-45

Any statement that tells you what, who, or how you are, or what you think, feel, or want, is defining you and is, therefore, abusive.  Such statements suggest an invasion of your very being, as if to say, “I’ve looked within you and now I’ll tell you what you want, feel, etc.”  Similarly, threats are verbally abusive because, like torture, they attempt to limit your freedom to choose and thus to define yourself.  Of course, if you have defined yourself to someone, “I’m Suzy’s Mom,” and that person says, “That’s Suzy’s Mom,” they are affirming or validating what you have said.  On the other hand, verbal abuse is a lie told to you or told to others about you.  If you believe the lie, it would lead you to think that you are not who you are or that you are less than you are. . . .

Another common way the abuser defines his partner is by walking away when she is asking a question, or mentioning something, or even in the middle of a conversation.  By withholding a response, he defines her as nonexistent. . . .

Defining statements are the opposite of affirmations, which are positive statements that confirm what we know and value about ourselves.  For example, when a man says, “I hear you.  I understand,” even if he does not agree with you, he validates or confirms what you have expressed to him.  If, however, he says, “You’re too sensitive,” or “Where did you get a crazy idea like that,” he invalidates and defines you.

– Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change?, p. 5-6

– Dr. Shirley P. Glass, PhD, NOT “Just Friends”

– Robert Karen, PhD, The Forgiving Self, p. 36-37

– Frank Schaeffer, Crazy for God, p. 390

– Frank Schaeffer, Crazy for God, p. 389

– Richard J. Foster, Life with God, p. 105-106

When we orient our lives around what we most care about, we see new ways of being that we were blind to when we were focused on eradicating the problem.  I invite you to refrain from attending to something that needs to be fixed.  Instead, try looking at what you care about and what you really want.

The bottom line:  It’s All Story.  Abundance is a Story.  Scarcity is a Story.  Yes, there are facts supporting both of them, but remember that it isn’t the facts that shape our lives — it’s our Stories.

– Victoria Castle, The Trance of Scarcity, p. 44-46

That, of course, is the whole secret and key.  What you think, you yourself become in spirit.  Spirits are continually attracted to, and gravitating towards, other spirits that think, desire, and feel the same kind of things as themselves.  To think only of good things continually attracts other good and loving spirits to you in the real world of spirit or thought as you strengthen and bless one another.  The reverse happens if you think and feel unkind or unloving things.

– Hannah Hurnard, Eagles Wings to the Higher Places, p. 66-67

– Madeleine L’Engle, Sold into Egypt, quoted in Glimpses of Grace, compiled by Carole F. Chase, p. 295