We continue to hold our grudges when we do not keep our lovers’ goodness front and center. When we forgive our partners, we see more than just the harm they may have done. Not that they are blameless or perfect. But when we forgive them, we can see them fully enough to lose the need to punish them for their failures. When we forgive them, we appreciate their goodness so much that we can have the necessary yet difficult conversations without bitterness.
— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 134