Review of Change Your Life Without Getting Out of Bed, by SARK

Creativity, Musings, Nonfiction Review, Personal Growth 0

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Change Your Life Without Getting Out of Bed

The Ultimate Nap Book

by SARK

Fireside Books (Simon & Schuster), 1999.  96 pages.

http://www.planetsark.com/

I’ve recently discovered SARK’s delightful books.  They’re gift books, and they are works of art.  She hand writes them with colorful rainbows of ink, with the pictures and the words expressing the exuberance.

This particular book is especially fun.  I started to say that it’s in defense of naps, but I think it’s better to say that this book is in celebration of naps.  There’s nothing defensive about her attitude toward taking naps!  Instead, she explains how much wonderful good naps can bring into your life. 

She gives reasons to nap, permission to nap, pleasures and benefits of napping, nap tips, nap quotes, and even describes fantasy naps and gives ideas for micronaps for parents.  (I like this one:  “Pile ALL the pillows on top of Daddy, and see how long it takes you!”

I finished reading this book on a day when I was scheduled to work 12:30 to 9:00.  Usually, I try to get lots done on such mornings.  That day, I did not have a “productive” morning, but I did have a very lovely one!

“Our lives are full of choices.  You can choose to nap.” — SARK

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Find this review on the main site at: www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/ultimate_nap_book.html

Review of All Creatures Great and Small, by James Herriot

Biography, Humorous, Nonfiction Review, Old Favorites, Starred Review, True Stories 0

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All Creatures Great and Small

by James Herriot

St. Martin’s Paperbacks, 1998.  First published in 1972.  437 pages.

Starred review.

I doubt I need to say much about this classic story of James Herriot’s tales of starting out as a young veterinarian in the Yorkshire Dales.  I’m quite sure I first read it sometime when I was in elementary school.  They’re wholesome stories, and I enjoyed them as much then as I did delighting over them as an adult.

I thought I’d reread All Creatures Great and Small to give myself some good laughs in between other books.  Since the book is mostly episodic — with mainly separate, funny stories — it works well to read it in bits and pieces.

There are overarching threads, like the memorable characters of his employer Siegfried and his brother Tristan.  But mainly the book tells delightful, funny, and heartwarming tales of his work with animals and the farmers of the Dales.

This book is definitely the sort worth coming back to every few years to enjoy all over again.

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Find this review on the main site at: www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/all_creatures_great_and_small.html

Review of Loving What Is, by Byron Katie

Nonfiction Review, Personal Growth, Stand-outs, Starred Review 0

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Loving What Is

Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

by Byron Katie with Stephen Mitchell

Harmony Books (Random House), New York, 2002.  258 pages.

Starred review.

Sonderbooks Stand-out 2010: #4 Other Nonfiction

http://www.thework.org/

http://www.stephenmitchellbooks.com/

http://www.randomhouse.com/

Loving What Is is hard to describe.  It doesn’t quite fit into the box of any religion or philosophy I might try to fit it into.  In my view, this is a tool that a person from any religion can use to move further along their own spiritual path.

The title probably says it best.  With her process, Byron Katie shows you how to begin to stop arguing with reality and start loving what actually is happening in your life.

Katie doesn’t tell you what to think.  The Work she presents consists of four questions you ask yourself.  She doesn’t tell you how to answer them.

You start with a stressful thought.  She even suggests you fill out a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet to find thoughts you are thinking that are causing you stress.  I can use the example, “My husband should not have left me.”

Question One is:  Is it true?

It’s a simple question, and usually our gut reaction is Yes, of course it’s true!  In my example, the Bible even says that he was sinning, so of course he should not have done that.  He hurt people, didn’t he?

Question Two asks, Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

This question takes you deeper.  After all, what do I mean by “should”?  I’ve got a much closer relationship with God than I did before my husband left.  I’m happier and healthier, and am enjoying pursuing my own interests and passions more than I was able to when I was living as a wife.  Can I absolutely know that he should not have left me?

Question Three asks, How do you react when you think that thought?

For my example, the answer’s easy.  When I think the thought, “My husband should not have left me,” I get angry and sad.  I start wanting some kind of compensation.  I feel sorry for myself.  I want to make him change.  Bottom line, none of those reactions make me feel good.

Question Four asks, Who would you be without the thought?

Notice that she doesn’t tell you to give up the thought!  Katie’s far more gentle than that.  She just asks you to envision what you would be like without the thought.  In my example, I’d be happier, freer, and much more satisfied with my life now.  I’d have a lot more joy in the present.

Finally, she follows up the questions by suggesting that you look at “the Turnaround” and see if that statement might be even more true.

In my example, “My husband should not have left me,” there are at least three turnarounds:

I should not have left me.

I should not have left my husband.

My husband should have left me.

Just looking at the first one, when I’m in my husband’s business, brooding about what he should have done, aren’t I in that moment leaving myself?

Besides that, I can’t do anything about what my husband does, only about what I choose to do and think.

My example is not as complete as the many examples given in the book of people from a wide variety of circumstances going through the four questions with Katie’s help.

I find my resistance to the ideas here is mainly centered on the idea that no one “should” sin.  I don’t like the turnaround “My husband should have left me,” because it sounds like condoning sin or calling evil good.  (How arrogant I sound even admitting that!)

I can deal with it better when I realize that Katie’s ideas greatly help to get me to a Joseph place:  “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good, to accomplish what is now being done.”  After all, if I am happier and healthier than before my husband left me, what is there still to be angry with him about?  Who am I to get hung up on what he should or should not do?  What business is that of mine anyway?

This is why I think that Katie’s ideas can be helpful for anyone from any religious background.  Unless that religion encourages you to judge your neighbor — but I don’t think there are many of those out there!

She helps you examine what you are thinking and how that fits with reality.  You can become much more joyful about what actually is happening to you.

Definitely ideas worth thinking about!

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Find this review on the main site at:

www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/loving_what_is.html

Review of Love, Magic & Mudpies, by Bernie Siegel

Musings, Nonfiction Review, Parenting 0

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Love, Magic & Mudpies

Raising Your Kids to Feel Loved, Be Kind, and Make a Difference

by Bernie Siegel, MD

Rodale, New York, 2006.  241 pages.

Here’s an inspiring book of musings and tips on inspiring your kids.  I read them through at the rate of about one musing per day, which gave me a nice little daily dose of inspiration.

Bernie Siegel says in the introduction:

“The title of this book says it all.  Love is necessary for our survival and is the key ingredient for both the parent and the child.  Children see the magic in everything, and loving parents can and will experience so many magical moments while raising their children.  Mudpies can be fun at times and also leave us covered with dirt.

“When you look at your children and yourself, I’d like you to accept that you are all part of this special magical relationship.  While creating your family, I’d like you to be in awe of life and its wonder but not hesitate to dive into life and take the risk of a mud bath now and then, too….

“I want to help parents not only survive the ups and downs of parenting but help them make it a blessing, too.  The magic excites and enlightens us, while the mud can become the fertilizer for our lives and relationships.  In this book, I will share with you the gems I have garnered from my medical practice and family life.  From my experience as a father of five, grandfather of eight, pediatric surgeon, counselor to those with life-threatening illnesses, and a Chosen Dad for suicidal and abused children I have met, I know our childhoods have a profound effect on our lifelong health.  I’ve seen that what we learn in our earliest years has a direct effect on our self-esteem, behavior, and choices.  It makes me realize that the parenting we receive is truly the number one health issue in most people’s lives….

“Remember, parents are the co-creators of life; so decide what you desire to create, and begin now.  Your children are the finest raw material you will ever have to work with.”

This book is full of helpful, encouraging, and inspiring ideas and advice.

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Find this review on the main site at: www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/love_magic_and_mudpies.html

Review of Confessions of an Amateur Believer, by Patty Kirk

Biography, Christian, Musings, Nonfiction Review, Stand-outs, Starred Review, True Stories 1

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Confessions of an Amateur Believer

by Patty Kirk

Nelson Books, 2006.  271 pages.

Starred Review.

http://www.amateurbeliever.com/
http://www.thomasnelson.com/
 
Patty Kirk grew up Catholic but wandered away from God and traveled all over the world.   When she came back to America, she married a Christian farmer, and ended up becoming a Christian herself.  This section from “About the Author” summarizes what the book is all about:

God began infecting every aspect of her daily life, converting every struggle to a miracle and holding her to account for every apparent victory.  She fought hard against these changes, in her marriage and parenting, her work, her mind.  She recorded her battles with God in free-form spiritual writings part praise, part lament, part exegesis, woven together with narratives of her daily life and her sometimes unwilling research into what it means to believe in God.

This book is a collection of those essays on spiritual things.  They are beautifully written and full of insight.  Those who follow my Sonderquotes blog will recognize Patty Kirk’s name, as I read through the book slowly, and so often found highly quotable paragraphs.

These are musings or meditations on life, God, the spiritual journey.  The author is open and honest, and readers will find her a kindred spirit.  She’s not afraid to talk about things a lot of us feel, but don’t necessarily know how to express as well.

This book explores how, having begun to believe as a child and lost sight of God for half a lifetime, I came not only to recognize him again but, by struggling with scripture and my own habits of unbelief, to acknowledge and celebrate his active participation in my life.

I love the picture she presents of God in these pages, a God who loves us, and who is not mean.

A big thank you to John, a Sonderbooks reader who recommended this book to me!

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Find this review on Sonderbooks at: www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/amateur_believer.html

Review of Then Sings My Soul, by Robert J. Morgan

Christian, Nonfiction Review, True Stories 0

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Then Sings My Soul

Volumes 1 & 2

250 of the World’s Greatest Hymn Stories

by Robert J. Morgan

Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, 2003.  308 pages.

http://www.robertjmorgan.com/

My Mom taught me to love hymns when I was a girl.  She made sure our family had a copy of the church hymnal.  My sister and I used to while away long drives by singing hymns.  We used to kneel at the two back windows of our van (oh horrors, without seatbelts!) and sing out the back window.  With all the noise of the car, it felt like no one could hear us but each other, and we could sing our little hearts out with the wind blowing in our faces.

So I thought Then Sings My Soul is the perfect book for morning devotions.  Each two-page spread has a hymn on one page, and the story behind the writing of that hymn (or perhaps a story of someone touched by the hymn) on the facing page.

Not only are the stories inspiring, but the book also has a wonderful selection of old classic hymns.  As the author says in the introduction, “Hymns connect us with generations now gone.  Each week millions of Christians in local settings around the world, using hymns composed by believers from every era and branch of Christendom, join voices in united bursts of praise, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in their hearts to the Lord.”

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Review of Our Own Selves, by Michael Gorman

Musings, Nonfiction Review 0

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Our Own Selves

More Meditations for Librarians

by Michael Gorman

American Library Association, Chicago, 2005.  224 pages.

http://www.alastore.ala.org/

I’m a new librarian.  I got my MLIS degree one year and one month ago.  All the same, once something becomes a job, there’s a danger that it will become “just a job” instead of a calling.

Reading a book like this one, slowly, one meditation per day, helped to remind me why I’m so proud and happy to be a librarian.  It reminds me that, despite the day-to-day little annoying details, I am doing a good work from a noble tradition.

As Michael Gorman says, “One of the great intangible benefits of library work is the sense of self-worth that comes when we realize that, no matter how humdrum the day or week, we are playing a part in bringing the good things of life to everyone and improving our communities, one life at a time.  A library serving a community of any kind (a village, school, city, college or university, corporation, government) enriches that community, which would be impoverished and weakened if that library did not exist.”

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Find this review on the main site at: www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/our_own_selves.html

Review of Forgive for Love, by Dr. Fred Luskin

Nonfiction Review, Personal Growth, Relationships, Starred Review 0

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Forgive for Love

The Missing Ingredient for a Healthy and Lasting Relationship

by Dr. Fred Luskin

HarperOne, 2007.  234 pages.

Starred Review.

http://www.learningtoforgive.com/

http://www.harperone.com/

After my husband left me, I did a lot of reading about forgiveness.  What do you do when your life falls apart?  Well, I look to books to help.

Of all the books I read about forgiveness, the one that made a breakthrough for me in helping me actually DO it (instead of just thinking about doing in) was Dr. Luskin’s earlier book, Forgive for Good.  (http://www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/forgive_for_good.html)

The key thought that helped me was this:  This person has already hurt me.  Why in the world should I give them power to continue to hurt me by brooding over that hurt?  And he has some practical tips to help you get your mind away from all the ways you were wronged.

I thought that book was so outstanding, when I learned that Dr. Luskin had written a book about forgiving in the context of romantic relationships, I knew I had to read it.

So much of this book rang true for me, quotes from it fill up five pages of my Sonderquotes blog (http://sonderbooks.com/sonderquotes/?s=luskin+forgive+love).

I have come to believe, along with Dr. Luskin, that forgiveness is the essential key to a lasting marriage.

“Think about it.  The centrality of commitment in relationships is expressed through the marriage vows, which ask us to love our partners through richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, and for better and for worse until death.  That means that we promise to love them when they are not doing well, when they have failed, when life is not exactly turning out as hoped, or when we’re going through a financial reversal.  What I see in the marriage vows is a basic prescription:  if we want our relationships to last, we better be prepared to forgive.”

But Dr. Luskin doesn’t only tell us we should forgive, he also shows us how.  This book is full of wise and practical tips toward becoming a better forgiver, and thus a better lover.

As he says in the final chapter, “Both the good news and the bad news about being in a relationship is that you will get many opportunities to practice forgiveness.”

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www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/forgive_for_love.html

Review of In the Ever After, by Allan B. Chinen

Folk Tales, Nonfiction Review, Personal Growth 0

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In the Ever After

Fairy Tales and the Second Half of Life

by Allan B. Chinen

Chiron Publications, Wilmette, Illinois, 1994.  203 pages.

I love Allan Chinen’s collections of fairy tales.  This volume deals with tales from all over the world that involve “elders” rather than the youthful protagonist going off to seek his fortune.

After presenting each fairy tale, he speaks as a psychiatrist about the insights the fairy tale gives us and the light it sheds on living the second half of life.

Fairy tales are full of wisdom.  Allan Chinen helps you see how that wisdom can apply to your life.  This is perfect for people like me who love symbols and images.  It’s fascinating how the same concepts come up in fairy tales from completely different parts of the world.

“In most familiar fairy tales, the Prince and Princess battle against terrible enemies and survive overwhelming ordeals.  Then they meet each other, marry, and live happily ever after.  And surely true love and finding one’s own kingdom represent symbolic goals for all individuals.  But much more remains of life in the “ever after,” and perhaps the most important:  restoring innocence and wonder to a world that has forgotten them.  That is the ultimate promise of elder tales, and their challenge — infusing the magic of myth and childhood into real life.”

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Review of The Prodigal’s Perspective, by Robert E. Steinkamp

Christian, Nonfiction Review, Relationships 0

The Prodigal’s Perspective

by Robert E. Steinkamp

Rejoice Marriage Ministries, 2006. 263 pages.

www.rejoiceministries.org

Of all the books from Rejoice Marriage Ministries, I think I am most encouraged by the ones Bob Steinkamp has written about his experiences as a “prodigal.”

Bob’s wife Charlyne divorced him for adultery and abuse, on the advice of her pastor.  But then her heart was convicted and she felt God was telling her not to give up on Bob, but to fast and pray for him to repent and come back to God.

At the time, he thought she was crazy.  He told her the marriage was over, and melted down his wedding ring to prove it.  He told her he was never ever coming back.

But now, twenty years later, he tells a different story.  He tells how God was working on him the entire two years that they were divorced before he finally gave in to God’s promptings and remarried his wife.

He says, “It took a long while, crisis after crisis, almost a promise of a plane crash, and even coming face to face with three visible demons in my bedroom, for me to do what the Lord desired.  Yes, I had my own ‘free will’ as people are reminding you, but it would take a book to share all the ways God used to bring my free will into alignment with His will for my life.”

This book gives a window into what happened behind the scenes while his wife was praying.  She certainly didn’t know what he was thinking at the time.  I thought this paragraph was eye-opening:

“How many times a day do you think of your absent mate?  How often does something happen that will instantly remind you of the one you love?  Rest assured that you are coming to your prodigal’s thoughts just as often.  When you were married you became one flesh, a relationship that simply cannot be dissolved at will.  Your absent mate may wish you would drop from their memory, but God will never allow that to happen.  As you stand strong, doing things God’s way, those memories in your mate’s mind will be enhanced.  Take that as fact from a man who called the other woman by his wife’s name a year after our divorce!”

Bob also reminds the reader that his transformation came from God’s work in his heart, not something that Charlyne engineered.  He urges you to give your marriage to God, but reminds you that prayers for your spouse are far more effective than you may realize at the time.

Find this review on the main site at: www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/prodigals_perspective.html