{"id":33659,"date":"2017-10-25T23:03:16","date_gmt":"2017-10-26T03:03:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/?p=33659"},"modified":"2017-10-25T23:03:16","modified_gmt":"2017-10-26T03:03:16","slug":"review-of-a-beautiful-terrible-thing-by-jen-waite","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/?p=33659","title":{"rendered":"Review of A Beautiful, Terrible Thing, by Jen Waite"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>A Beautiful, Terrible Thing<\/p>\n

A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal<\/em><\/p>\n

by Jen Waite<\/p>\n

Plume (Penguin Random House), 2017. 258 pages.
\nStarred Review<\/p>\n

I thought I\u2019d read just a chapter of this book on Friday night. But once I started, I couldn\u2019t look away until I\u2019d finished.<\/p>\n

Yes, it\u2019s the true story of an apparently wonderful husband who cheated, lied, and turned out to be a psychopath. (There is a disclaimer at the front that this is not an official diagnosis. This isn\u2019t an official diagnosis, either.) Many of my readers know that I, too, had a husband who cheated \u2013 and the long, awful time of suspicion and being lied to and desperately trying to fix things eventually ended with finding out it had all been much worse than I\u2019d thought.<\/p>\n

Jen Waite\u2019s story is different from mine. She had only five years she thought she\u2019d had a good marriage (and came to find out, he\u2019d been cheating very early on). But that feeling of devastation? The world-toppling discovery that leaves you not knowing what was ever real? The wondering, always wondering what he\u2019s up to right now and compulsion to check? All of that felt horribly familiar.<\/p>\n

When I read that her husband was working long, long hours \u2013 through the night to the early hours of the morning \u2013 I just cringed. (That one took her a long time to figure out. And I know why \u2013 He\u2019s working so hard! You want to be supportive! He\u2019s sacrificing so much time for his job!)<\/p>\n

Anyway, this is a story of a marriage \u2013 how they met and fell in love quickly \u2013 and betrayal. The discovery happened shortly after the birth of their first child. Jen Waite tells the story beautifully and suspensefully. She starts with the moment she read the email her husband had written that changed her world. It\u2019s just a paragraph, which ends like this:<\/p>\n

What I am seeing must have a logical explanation. It must be a misunderstanding. As soon as I can talk to my husband, he will explain and everything will be OK. This is not an emergency yet. If I can just hear his voice, I will be able to breathe again. Balancing the baby in one arm, I reach for my cell phone with the other, unconsciously bouncing my knees to soothe my daughter\u2019s screams.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

After that, she alternates between sections describing \u201cBefore\u201d and \u201cAfter.\u201d The \u201cBefore\u201d sections deal with how they met and built a life together. The \u201cAfter\u201d sections involve finding out what, actually, happened, and how she very slowly figured out the extent of his betrayal.<\/p>\n

Jen finishes up the book describing how she has resolved to become a licensed therapist, specializing in recovery from psychopathic relationships. Yes! So it ultimately becomes a story about wresting good out of a nightmarish situation.<\/p>\n

For me, reading it gave me a sense of solidarity \u2013 a reminder that I wasn\u2019t the only one who ever got cheated on. (I know this intellectually, but that\u2019s different from feeling sympathy as the author describes going through it.) But it also gave me a lovely realization of how far I\u2019ve come. Yes, I remember being so devastated \u2013 but I am not devastated now! I remember trying to get my life back on track and find my footing \u2013 and (Wow!) I have done so! Not only am I working full-time as a children\u2019s librarian and youth services manager \u2013 I even had my dream come true and am on the Newbery committee! And I would never have even become a librarian if my husband hadn\u2019t left me \u2013 I was enjoying working part-time far too much.<\/p>\n

I liked her emphasis that life goes on and we can emerge better and stronger. Yes! This is true!<\/p>\n

You may not have such a personal connection with this book, but either way, it\u2019s still a gripping and emotional true story. It will give you insight, compassion, and understanding for people caught in such an awful situation.<\/p>\n

I checked the author\u2019s website, and she\u2019s got further encouragement for people who are putting their lives back together. May she continue to grow better and stronger because of what she\u2019s been through.<\/p>\n

jenwaite.com<\/a>
\nplumebooks.com<\/a><\/p>\n

Buy from Amazon.com<\/a><\/p>\n

Find this review on Sonderbooks<\/a> at: www.sonderbooks.com\/Nonfiction\/beautiful_terrible_thing.html<\/a><\/p>\n

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.<\/p>\n

Source: This review is based on a library book from Fairfax County Public Library.<\/p>\n

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but I maintain my website and blogs on my own time. The views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.<\/p>\n

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