{"id":33876,"date":"2018-09-13T22:59:30","date_gmt":"2018-09-14T02:59:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/?p=33876"},"modified":"2018-09-13T22:59:30","modified_gmt":"2018-09-14T02:59:30","slug":"review-of-braving-the-wilderness-by-brene-brown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/?p=33876","title":{"rendered":"Review of Braving the Wilderness, by Bren\u00e9 Brown"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Braving the Wilderness<\/p>\n

The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone<\/em><\/p>\n

by Bren\u00e9 Brown<\/p>\n

Random House, 2017. 194 pages.
\nReview written in 2017<\/p>\n

The newest book by Bren\u00e9 Brown didn\u2019t hit me as hard as her earlier books. This may well be that although I know I have a problem with perfectionism (so The Gifts of Imperfection<\/a><\/em> was perfectly appropriate), I already have strong roots of community in my life, especially through my church, but also a wide-ranging network of friends.<\/p>\n

Braving the Wilderness<\/em> is about True Belonging \u2013 yet at the same time about having the willingness to be authentic, even when it means standing alone.<\/p>\n

Her tips on finding this weren\u2019t as pithy as in some of her other books. In fact, a few months ago, one of my colleagues came back to work after going to a class and was talking about it. I don\u2019t remember much about it except that they used a very long acronym BRAVING, and I thought it was not only unmemorable to have such a long acronym, but I also thought that using V for Vault \u2013 to mean not betraying confidences \u2013 was a pretty silly stretch. (My co-workers and I thought Vegas would even be better, as in \u201cwhat happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.\u201d) So imagine my surprise to see that same acronym in this book.<\/p>\n

Now that I\u2019m looking at the acronym, I see that she first introduced it in Rising Strong<\/a>.<\/em> (I didn\u2019t remember that.) But now since \u201cBraving\u201d is part of the title, it was a little more central, and used as a checklist for trusting others and trusting yourself. The acronym stands for: Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Nonjudgment, and Generosity.<\/p>\n

She does have some good points when she talks about the need to come back together as a society. I agree that we\u2019re in a place where we need that.<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s the big question: Wouldn\u2019t you think that all of the sorting by politics and beliefs we\u2019ve been doing would lead to more social interaction? If we\u2019ve hunkered down ideologically and geographically with people who we perceive to be just like us, doesn\u2019t that mean that we\u2019ve surrounded ourselves with friends and people with whom we feel deeply connected? Shouldn\u2019t \u201cYou\u2019re either with us or against us\u201d have led to closer ties among the like-minded? The answer to these questions is a resounding and surprising no.<\/em> At the same time sorting is on the rise, so is loneliness.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Confronting that, here are what she calls the four elements of true belonging:<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople are hard to hate close up. Move in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSpeak truth to bullshit. Be civil.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHold hands. With strangers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStrong back. Soft front. Wild heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

There are chapters titled with all four of these suggestions. And it\u2019s good stuff \u2013 but it didn\u2019t really stick in my mind.<\/p>\n

However, I did like what she had to say about True Belonging at the front of the book.<\/p>\n

Belonging to ourselves means being called to stand alone \u2013 to brave the wilderness of uncertainty, vulnerability, and criticism. And with the world feeling like a political and ideological combat zone, this is remarkably tough. We seem to have forgotten that even when we\u2019re utterly alone, we\u2019re connected to one another by something greater than group membership, politics, and ideology \u2013 that we\u2019re connected by love and the human spirit. No matter how separated we are by what we think and believe, we are part of the same spiritual story.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I do like the way she connects true belonging with standing alone. If you\u2019re just trying to be like everyone else, you\u2019re working on fitting in, and that\u2019s very different from true belonging. But if you are vulnerable enough to show people who you really are \u2013 then you\u2019ll be able to find true belonging.<\/p>\n

Again, this book might have hit me harder if I were feeling lonelier and didn\u2019t have true community in my life. As it was, it reminded me that even though I live alone, I really do have people in my life with whom I truly belong. And that was a nice thing to remember.<\/p>\n

BreneBrown.com<\/a>
\nrandomhousebooks.com<\/a><\/p>\n

Buy from Amazon.com<\/a><\/p>\n

Find this review on Sonderbooks<\/a> at: www.sonderbooks.com\/Nonfiction\/braving_the_wilderness.html<\/a><\/p>\n

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.<\/p>\n

Source: This review is based on a library book from Fairfax County Public Library.<\/p>\n

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but I maintain my website and blogs on my own time. The views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.<\/p>\n

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