{"id":39717,"date":"2024-05-06T22:16:55","date_gmt":"2024-05-07T02:16:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/?p=39717"},"modified":"2024-05-06T22:16:55","modified_gmt":"2024-05-07T02:16:55","slug":"review-of-the-gift-by-edith-eger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/?p=39717","title":{"rendered":"Review of The Gift, by Edith Eger"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>The Gift<\/p>\n

12 Lessons to Save Your Life<\/em><\/p>\n

by Dr. Edith Eger
\nwith Esm\u00e9 Schwall Weigand<\/p>\n

Scribner, 2020. 195 pages.
\nReview written July 15, 2021, from a library book
\nStarred Review<\/p>\n

Edith Eger is a doctor of psychology and a Holocaust survivor. So when she fills a book with life lessons, she can use examples from her own life and from her patients\u2019 lives. And you know the lessons will be helpful, even in extreme situations.<\/p>\n

The subtitles of the twelve chapters tell you what major life issues each lesson deals with: Victimhood, Avoidance, Self-Neglect, Secrets, Guilt and Shame, Unresolved Grief, Rigidity, Resentment, Paralyzing Fear, Judgment, Hopelessness, and Not Forgiving. Her lessons and stories are practical and pointed. For example, the chapter about Judgment is titled \u201cThe Nazi In You,\u201d and she talks about meeting an American teen in the 1980s who was wearing a brown shirt and brown boots and ranting about killing Jews and others and making America white again. She took a deep breath and said, \u201cTell me more.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a tiny gesture of acceptance \u2013 not of his ideology, but of his personhood. And it was enough for him to speak a little of his lonely childhood, absentee parents, and severe neglect. Hearing his story reminded me that he hadn\u2019t joined an extremist group because he was born with hate. He was seeking what we all want: acceptance, attention, affection. It\u2019s not an excuse. But attacking him would only nourish the seeds of worthlessness his upbringing had sown. I had the choice to alienate him further, or give him another version of refuge and belonging.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Another bit I like is her tip in the chapter on hopelessness: \u201cDon\u2019t cover garlic with chocolate.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s tempting to confuse hope with idealism, but idealism is just another form of denial, a way of evading a true confrontation with suffering. Resiliency and freedom don\u2019t come from pretending away our pain. Listen to the way you talk about a hard or hurtful situation. It\u2019s okay. It\u2019s not that bad. Others have it so much worse. I don\u2019t have anything to complain about. Everything will work out in the end. No pain, no glory!<\/em> The next time you hear yourself using the language of minimization, delusion, or denial, try replacing the words with \u201cIt hurts. And it\u2019s temporary.\u201d Remind yourself, \u201cI\u2019ve survived pain before.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I also appreciated the insight in the chapter, \u201cThere\u2019s No Forgiveness Without Rage.\u201d I\u2019ve seen that in other books, with explanations of how you need to admit there\u2019s pain and wrongdoing before you can forgive it. You need to feel the hurt rather than dismiss it. This idea There\u2019s no forgiveness without rage.<\/em> is even simpler.<\/p>\n

Those are just a few examples of the hard-won wisdom found in this book, told with warmth and love.<\/p>\n

dreditheger.com<\/a>
\nSimonandSchuster.com<\/a><\/p>\n

Buy from Amazon.com<\/a><\/p>\n

Find this review on Sonderbooks<\/a> at: www.sonderbooks.com\/Nonfiction\/gift.html<\/a><\/p>\n

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.<\/p>\n

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but the views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.<\/p>\n

What did you think of this book?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Gift 12 Lessons to Save Your Life by Dr. Edith Eger with Esm\u00e9 Schwall Weigand Scribner, 2020. 195 pages. Review written July 15, 2021, from a library book Starred Review Edith Eger is a doctor of psychology and a Holocaust survivor. So when she fills a book with life lessons, she can use examples […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4,42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nonfiction-review","category-personal-growth","category-starred-review"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=39717"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39717\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43726,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39717\/revisions\/43726"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=39717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=39717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=39717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}