{"id":11993,"date":"2019-04-12T21:55:10","date_gmt":"2019-04-13T01:55:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/?p=11993"},"modified":"2019-04-12T22:10:54","modified_gmt":"2019-04-13T02:10:54","slug":"getaway-reflections","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/?p=11993","title":{"rendered":"Getaway Reflections"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I spent three nights this week at a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Getaway\u00e2\u20ac\u009d cabin. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a very small cabin with cooking facilities. And you get to not talk to anyone. They left a card for you to leave behind thoughts, a quote, or a picture.<\/p>\n

Here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what I wrote:<\/p>\n

Silenced<\/strong><\/p>\n

I came with an agenda,
\nso much to think about,
\nso much to plan.<\/p>\n

I sat out by the trees,
\nand the woods said to me,
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Shut up!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

I laid by the big window,
\nand the stars said to me,
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Shut up!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Silenced by beauty,
\nstopped short by wonder.<\/p>\n

And it was good.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

That was my reaction to the first night. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d brought lots of books to read and had intended to do some major planning. But when I arrived and saw the space was smaller than I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d anticipated, instead of spreading out the books and notebooks and getting to work \u00e2\u20ac\u201c I went outside and read a book. <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

After it got dark, I laid on the bed and discovered I could see more stars through the big window than I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve seen in a very long time. And it calmed my mind.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The next day, I did get busy with my getaway.<\/p>\n

The space was smaller than I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d expected. Somehow I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d expected drawers, closets, shelves, and certainly mirrors, something more like a hotel room. This was not that. But my suitcases did work to hold my clothes.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I brought far, far too many books. But I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d known I was bringing too many, and it turned out there was room to line them up so I could choose, so I could dabble in a wide variety.<\/p>\n

There was a hiking trail and it turned out to branch into two directions. I took the first way the first day, and it eventually petered out (unless I missed a turn?), then took the second way the second day and was relieved to find the trail was a loop so I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to turn back. I did have a scary moment crossing the stream on stepping stones. People who lay out stepping stone paths generally don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t plan for people with very short legs such as me, and despite myself and despite the super shallow water, I got so scared I was shaking, and then was more afraid I wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t make the step. <\/p>\n

Believe it or not, here are the stepping stones that scared me:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Then I went and found a walking stick, and I got my foot a little wet, but I did it! Both walks took about an hour, walks through the woods with plenty of birds singing and not seeing a single solitary human. On the first walk, I saw someone as I got back to my cabin and told her where the trail started.<\/p>\n

In some ways, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got a getaway in my own home, since I live alone. And I had a getaway all three times I went to a library conference while on the Newbery committee \u00e2\u20ac\u201c since I had a large hotel room to myself.<\/p>\n

But the gift of this place was that part of not talking to any people. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll admit, I did check my phone. And answered a couple of emails very briefly. But it was ideal for a place to read and write on my own agenda. I made simple meals and did not have to go out and find food, as I did when I stayed in a hotel room on Chincoteague.<\/p>\n

My purpose in going was to decide: Do I want to take up writing again, now that my time serving on the Newbery committee is done?<\/p>\n

The answer was an unequivocal YES.<\/p>\n

Now, it was two years \u00e2\u20ac\u201c since April 2017 \u00e2\u20ac\u201c that I knew I would be on the Newbery committee, and another year before that I knew I would be on the ballot. So I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been putting my writing on hold for three years. And it was a beautiful experience being on the Newbery.<\/p>\n

I brought all my old writing \u00e2\u20ac\u201c the three books I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve finished, three books I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve started, and two short stories. My plan was to read them all and decide whether there is anything to salvage out of them and what to work on next. I was also planning to think through possibilities for nonfiction writing.<\/p>\n

I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have time to read all of those. What I ended up reading was an old writing journal I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d written 1995 to 2001, when I was a mother of young kids and planned to write. Toward the end of the journal, I thought of writing Sonderbooks, and it was fun to see that idea develop.<\/p>\n

In the journal, I was reflecting on writing books I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d been reading. And I was asserting that I am a writer.<\/p>\n

The lovely thing, reading that now? I no longer feel the need to assert that so hard. Yes, I am a writer. Now I know it in my bones.<\/p>\n

All the years of writing Sonderbooks reviews, of responding to life in Sonderjourneys, and especially all the friends I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve emailed about so many big issues \u00e2\u20ac\u201c about my marriage falling apart, about what directions to take, about dreams and hopes, about theology \u00e2\u20ac\u201c and even writing my life story in Project 52. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve figured out that I think things through by writing about them. How I put it, when I apologize to friends for the long emails I send, is this: I am a writer at heart.<\/p>\n

Whether or not I ever get a book published, I am a writer. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s who I am.<\/p>\n

And taking some time out to think about that reasserted that. Yes, now that the Newbery\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s done, yes, I want to spend at least<\/em> a half-hour a day writing. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to not count writing reviews any more (like I used to) because some day I might want to write some kind of collection of book reviews. I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t, however, count the time it takes to post the reviews.<\/p>\n

But yeah, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a writer. And thinking about adding that back into my life makes me happy.<\/p>\n

In fact, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not putting this on my online profile, but it makes me a lot happier than the thought of dating someone again. Maybe I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not discouraged after all that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not finding a match that way! I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m thinking out a schedule for getting that half-hour in, and maybe having a longer time once a week\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not sure I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be real patient with anyone wanting to interrupt that.<\/p>\n

As for what to work on \u00e2\u20ac\u201c one of those short stories is a very silly story about a kid saving the world from alien invasion. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to try to turn that into a beginning chapter book.<\/p>\n

It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a very unserious story, and I like that for my again trying to write a book.<\/p>\n

Today I read this in the book Chapter after Chapter<\/em>, by Heather Sellers:<\/p>\n

One writer I know, Brandon, is dying to write what he calls his magnum opus, a fantasy novel that brings all of his ideas together in one stunning story. But he feels stuck as a writer, completely blocked, and he has trouble starting even small pieces. Many of his friends have told him he needs to write his magnificent book and risk failure in order to save it. The longer he sits on his project, the more blocked Brandon will become.<\/p>\n

But he won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t start writing.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve always wanted to write a great book. Reading for the Newbery, I read plenty of great books. So if I get back into it by writing a silly little book \u00e2\u20ac\u201c maybe it won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be so paralyzing.<\/p>\n

Anyway, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s my plan. And I just spent a half-hour writing about that plan. Funny how easy that is.<\/p>\n

But it was a lovely Getaway.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I spent three nights this week at a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Getaway\u00e2\u20ac\u009d cabin. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a very small cabin with cooking facilities. And you get to not talk to anyone. They left a card for you to leave behind thoughts, a quote, or a picture. Here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what I wrote: Silenced I came with an agenda, so much to think […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11993","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11993","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11993"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11993\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11993"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11993"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11993"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}