{"id":12953,"date":"2020-04-27T21:43:40","date_gmt":"2020-04-28T01:43:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/?p=12953"},"modified":"2025-08-20T13:38:21","modified_gmt":"2025-08-20T17:38:21","slug":"my-own-salvation-history-psalm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/?p=12953","title":{"rendered":"My Own Salvation History Psalm"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Last week, I wrote about Salvation History Psalms<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Part of my point in analyzing different types of Psalms is to encourage people to try them out. Write a Psalm! It’s a great exercise in prayer.<\/p>\n

So I wanted to do one myself.<\/p>\n

Here’s what you do:<\/p>\n

Make a list of times in your life when you saw God brought you through.
\nThen write about it! That’s the whole point — to go over your history with God.<\/p>\n

To make it Psalm-like, I tried to use parallelism, tried to repeat myself and say things in more than one way. I began with an “Address to God” and finished with a “Call to Praise,” but otherwise it was a list of some highlights of ways God has worked in my life.<\/p>\n

And such a blessing to go over those things! Because when remember what God has already done, it’s so much easier to trust that He will bring us through the current situation.<\/p>\n

I’m going to offer my own Salvation History Psalm — as a way of encouraging you to try writing one yourself. Not because this is something special — but it is heartfelt.<\/p>\n

Lord, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been by my side since I was a child.
\nYou placed me in a family where I heard about you.
\nI was trained at Christian schools;
\nI was encouraged to study and memorize your word.
\nI was praised for following rules,
\nand proud of how much I knew,
\ntaught about things to do,
\nas if that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s how you please God.
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Without love, I am nothing.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nI memorized the words,
\nbut they weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t yet in my heart.<\/p>\n

We married young, and a baby came along so soon.
\nMotherhood was scary, but full of joy.
\nI wanted to do everything right
\nand my family to do everything right, too.
\nI did not succeed,
\nbut You were with us.<\/p>\n

I got teaching jobs when we moved,
\na job lined up before I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d even found our phone,
\n(a landline in those days).
\nYou opened doors and helped us pay bills,
\nmake new friends, find a church.<\/p>\n

With our second child, preterm contractions put me on bed rest.
\nMy husband and our church family
\nmade that time a blessing.
\nMy oldest joined me in rest and play.
\nWith the new baby, I kept teaching and working,
\njuggling child care and a happy growing family.<\/p>\n

Then we started an adventure \u00e2\u20ac\u201c
\nour family moved to Germany.
\nYou promised your presence would go with us
\nand you poured blessings out upon us.
\nMy first white Christmas
\nwas that first Christmas in Leith\u00c3\u00b6fe,
\nwith treetops glistening
\nand snowy fields spread out before us.
\nWe traveled to castles
\nand wondered at forested beauty.
\nWe walked among the tulips of Holland
\nand looked out our own windows over fields of Rapps.
\nWe climbed our own hill after dinner,
\nlooked out over a panorama,
\nand smiled at the baby lambs.<\/p>\n

When we suddenly had to move,
\nyou brought us something even greater.
\nYour goodness seemed laid out with gifts and blessings.
\nA beautiful home in the hills,
\nwith a view of the valley.
\nThen a job of my dreams,
\ndealing with books, seeing friends.
\nHow did it all come crashing down?
\nWas my beautiful Christian marriage not what it seemed?<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d told my beloved he probably shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t walk in the woods
\nwith the other woman.
\nOf course she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d find it romantic;
\nhe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be leading her on.
\nIn fact, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to walk in the woods with him.
\nIt never entered my head he might want<\/em>
\nto lead her on,
\nhe might have chosen
\na different path.<\/p>\n

I tried to hold it together.
\nI tried to make things fit back into place.
\nI begged, I groveled, I cried.
\nSurely this was all a misunderstanding?<\/p>\n

I read the remedies;
\nI tried seduction.
\nI tried to kidnap him
\nfor a special date,
\nto rekindle romance,
\nto talk and connect.
\nI tried notes,
\nI tried emails,
\nI tried phone calls.
\nI tried everything I could possibly think of
\nto let him know he was loved.
\nBecause surely if he knew how I loved him,
\nhe wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t turn away?<\/p>\n

I still don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t understand how it happened.
\nI still don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know when I lost his heart.
\nBefore we even were engaged,
\nhe told me, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I will never leave you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nHe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d promised to love and cherish me
\nfor better, or for worse.
\nI don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know why he decided those vows didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t matter
\nand that I wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t worthy of love.
\nHe told me he couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t forgive me.
\nHe told me I was a terrible wife.
\nBut the truth is that I was at least faithful.
\nAnd I at least gave my all to keep on loving him
\neven when all hope was lost.<\/p>\n

You, Lord, were gentle with me
\nwhen my husband was harsh.
\nYou sent my offenses away as far as the east is from the west
\nwhen my husband brought up words spoken eighteen years before.
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153O Lord, if you kept a record of wrongs,
\nLord, who could stand?
\nBut with you there is forgiveness,
\nso we can, with reverence, serve you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

My husband may not have forgiven my shortcomings,
\nbut You did.
\nYou showed me
\nthat You had great things in store for me.<\/p>\n

I wanted to stay near my husband,
\nbut You let him run to the other side of the earth.
\nAnd once we had the world between us,
\nYou poured out blessings on me.<\/p>\n

You showed me I was Loved.
\nYou told me I shone like a star.
\nYou declared Yourself my husband for this season.
\nYou sent me into the wilderness
\nand spoke tenderly to me.<\/p>\n

And your people!
\nThey moved me into a new home,
\nnot once but thrice \u00e2\u20ac\u201c
\neven with all my hoards of books,
\nthey literally bore my burdens.<\/p>\n

You gave me libraries!
\nA job, a profession, a calling!
\nFirst part-time, close by my home,
\nand then full-time, even closer.
\nI was in my forties and newly-minted with my degree,
\nyet I was welcomed in service to children.
\nI got to share the joys of books.<\/p>\n

Disappointments came later:
\nBudget cuts sent me away from the library,
\ninto exile for six months.
\nTwice I was rejected for the William Morris Seminar
\nand to be a Cybils judge.
\nI missed being elected to the Newbery committee by fifteen votes,
\nand I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get the Selector job I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d wanted so much.
\nNor did I get chosen for the position in Oregon near my kids.<\/p>\n

But You were with me, Lord.
\nThe disappointments always worked out for something better,
\nalways, every time.
\neven the divorce, the biggest disappointment of all.<\/p>\n

I got back to the library,
\nnow working in a Regional branch,
\nI was well-positioned to promote.
\nI worked with new friends
\nand colleagues it was a delight to see each day.<\/p>\n

I got to attend the William Morris Seminar
\nand be a Cybils judge,
\nall in good time.
\nBest of all was being elected to the Newbery committee
\nwhen my empty nest was fresh
\nand I could use my time to read.<\/p>\n

As if that weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t enough,
\nI won the Allie Beth Martin
\na national award for knowledge of books
\nand distinguished ability to share that knowledge.
\nWho knew such an award existed?
\nAnd that I would receive the honorarium
\nexactly after home repairs put me in debt
\nfor that exact amount?<\/p>\n

Another disappointment happened when I was looking for a home \u00e2\u20ac\u201c
\nmy first offer fell through.
\nAnd then as soon as that was definite,
\na condo came on the market
\nwith an amazing lake view,
\nin my price range,
\nin driving distance of the library,
\nand just the right size for me and my books.
\nThat place where I \u00e2\u20ac\u0153spread my tent curtains wide\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nblesses me to this day,
\nas I walk by my lake,
\ntake pictures of birds and flowers and leaves,
\nand marvel in the beauty of the world the Lord has made.<\/p>\n

Praise the Lord!
\nFor every day He surrounds me with His beauty.
\nHe turns my disappointments into dancing,
\nmy setbacks into successes,
\nmy crying into singing.<\/p>\n

Praise the Lord!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last week, I wrote about Salvation History Psalms. Part of my point in analyzing different types of Psalms is to encourage people to try them out. Write a Psalm! It’s a great exercise in prayer. So I wanted to do one myself. Here’s what you do: Make a list of times in your life when […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55,70],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12953","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-praying-with-the-psalmists","category-salvation-history-psalms"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12953","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12953"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12953\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12958,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12953\/revisions\/12958"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12953"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12953"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12953"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}