{"id":13303,"date":"2023-09-10T22:27:06","date_gmt":"2023-09-11T02:27:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/?p=13303"},"modified":"2025-08-17T16:16:33","modified_gmt":"2025-08-17T20:16:33","slug":"lament-for-a-leak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/?p=13303","title":{"rendered":"Lament for a Leak"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I’m upset over something that happened yesterday. And I feel stupid for being so upset. The something is that in a rainstorm, I discovered my bedroom window is leaking badly. My office window is also leaking.<\/p>\n

I feel like that shouldn’t upset me so much — and then my mind keeps spinning over reasons why it does.<\/p>\n

And that gets me thinking about Psalms.<\/p>\n

You see, I recently finished writing a book about Psalms, Praying with the Psalmists<\/em>. I don’t yet have a publisher, but my premise is that you can use the patterns from Psalms to write your own prayers.<\/p>\n

And I want to try a Lament for this Leak. I think it will help me calm down my catastrophic thinking.<\/p>\n

I learned when studying Psalms that God wants our honesty. The psalmists seem somewhat extreme in their complaints. So if I’m extreme in what I worry about regarding this stupid leak — well, that’s okay. God can handle it.<\/p>\n

I’ll use parallelism, and I’ll use the ACCESS form of a Lament:<\/p>\n

Address to God
\nComplaint
\nConfession of Trust
\nEntreaty
\nSureness of Help
\nSubsequent Praise<\/p>\n

Here goes! I’m going to sit down and write this now and try not to edit it too much. This is my prayer.<\/p>\n

[Address to God]
\nLord, I’m coming to you about this leak,
\nI’m telling you my worries and fears
\nbecause I want to trust that you care about me;
\nI want to believe that you listen to my concerns.<\/p>\n

This one seems too petty for you, God.
\nI’m a grown-up, shouldn’t I deal with it?
\nBut let me come to you like a child
\nbecause as a father has compassion on his children
\nso you have compassion on those who follow you.<\/p>\n

A situation like this makes me miss my father,
\nmiss someone to turn to,
\nmiss not having to be the most responsible one.
\nSo it’s time to turn to You, Father.<\/p>\n

[Complaint]
\nIt’s just a window!
\nBut I’ve been afraid of this.<\/p>\n

When my air conditioner went out and pulled me back into debt,
\nmy friend said, “What’s *really* expensive are windows.”
\nJust a couple years ago, our condo association sent out a notice:
\nReplacing windows is now the responsibility of the homeowner.
\nBecause they’re all getting old,
\nand the association can’t afford to replace them all.
\nThey had us vote on it,
\nbut what could I do?
\nWe don’t want our fees to go up,
\nbut neither do I want the expense.
\nHad a feeling it would be relevant,
\nbut hoped I was just superstitious.<\/p>\n

Many months ago, I noticed a leak
\nin the window in my office.
\nBut it didn’t happen again
\nuntil yesterday.
\nI’d hoped it was a fluke.<\/p>\n

For the same months, I’ve been noticing a wet, rotting wood smell
\nnear the window in my bedroom
\nevery time it rains.
\nBut never saw any water.
\nMaybe I’m imagining it?
\nAfter all, if I don’t actually see a leak,
\nhow could it actually be there?<\/p>\n

Then yesterday it was spitting out.
\nMy head got sprinkled when I ducked in to see where it was coming from.<\/p>\n

The rug was wet next to my bed.
\nThen I saw splashes on the things under the window.
\nI moved those things next to the piles
\nremoved from my closet months ago.
\nI got a step ladder and found the water was coming
\nfrom the wooden casing above the window.
\nThe paint is cracked, and water was coming out
\nrandomly all in a line,
\nall along the top of the window,
\nfalling all the way down
\nnot in a stream I could catch in a bowl,
\nbut spreading out and spraying.<\/p>\n

I put down plastic,
\nwiped it down.
\nThe office window was leaking too.
\n(Usually wind drives rain the other direction
\n— that’s the one good side.)<\/p>\n

Four months ago, a bathroom leak from the condo above me
\ndestroyed my master bathroom and closet.
\nI still haven’t returned everything to the closet,
\ntrying to sort through the boxes of books.
\nI’ve only just recently finished cleaning the dust
\nfrom the reconstruction.
\nI still haven’t gotten back
\nthe $500 deductible,
\nbecause the problem didn’t originate within my unit.<\/p>\n

So I don’t want another project.
\nI haven’t put my house back together after the last one!
\nProblems are supposed to wait their turn!
\nAren’t they?<\/p>\n

And money!
\nTen years ago, my Dad gave me the down payment to buy this place.
\nA few years later, a home equity loan allowed me to pay off
\nheavy debt from my divorce.<\/p>\n

Then the water heater broke…
\nthen the air conditioner…
\nand always, God provided.<\/p>\n

In a few months, I’ll have my car paid off,
\nand I was already daydreaming about saving little by little
\nto buy one more car – without payments –
\nbefore I retire.<\/p>\n

I’d got it in my head that at last I’d go back to visit Germany
\nwhere I lived for ten years,
\nbut haven’t seen for eighteen years.
\nI’d go next June for my sixtieth birthday.
\nWhat better way to celebrate?<\/p>\n

Now I feel like who am I
\nto dare to plan for something special like that?
\nWho am I to think
\nI can be out of debt for more than a few months at a time?<\/p>\n

And, Lord, I know it’s so childish!
\nIt’s expensive to own a home.
\nMy condo already saved my financial situation.
\nAt worst, surely I can get a home equity loan.
\nBut I’m still complaining!
\nThis is the part about all the thoughts going through my head:<\/p>\n

How dare I think I can have nice things?
\nI’m on the Morris committee!
\nHow can I possibly find time to have people come through my home
\nopen up a wall
\nrip things apart
\nand put in a new window?
\nAnd how will I ever find time to clean up after?
\nWhy can’t I just ignore the problem
\nand hope the wind won’t blow that direction with rain ever again?<\/p>\n

And where do I start?
\nWho do I call?
\n(The condo association.
\nMaybe they can tell me where to get windows that match.)<\/p>\n

Okay, that’s the start of my complaint, Lord!
\nIt’s a big mess of money and time that I for sure
\ndo not want to spend right now.<\/p>\n

It childishly doesn’t seem fair
\nwhen I haven’t even put things back together after the other leak.<\/p>\n

It all seemed like more when I was stewing.
\nBut those are my complaints, Lord.
\nI’m not looking forward to dealing with it.
\nI’m not looking forward to paying for it.
\nI’m not looking forward to having people fix it.
\nI’m not looking forward to moving my furniture to make it happen.
\nI’m not looking forward to the disruption of folks working on it.
\nI’m not looking forward to cleaning up after it.<\/p>\n

And I keep hoping the problem is just a fluke,
\nbut yesterday was enough water
\nthat I think the time for ignoring the problem
\nis long past.<\/p>\n

[Confession of Trust]
\nLord, thank you that writing all that out
\nisn’t nearly as bad as what was spinning in my head.
\nThank you for this home
\nand how it solved my credit card debt.
\nThank you that you provided
\nafter all the other repairs and after dental crises and other unexpected expenses.
\nThank you for that $3000 award that came
\nexactly when I was $3000 in debt.<\/p>\n

Father, by now I should have learned that you can meet my needs.
\nAnd you help me deal with things I don’t want to deal with.
\nAnd you help me find professionals who know what they’re doing.
\nAnd I can really do this Grown-up stuff!<\/p>\n

And yes, I can trust you, Lord.
\nAnd no, this isn’t a disaster.
\nAnd yes, I have so many resources
\nand should probably be ashamed for how upset this got me.
\nBecause you will be with me, Lord,
\nas you have been with me before.<\/p>\n

[Entreaty]
\nLord, be with me
\nas you have promised!
\nGrant me wisdom
\nto figure out who to call,
\nto find trustworthy professionals,
\nwho quote me a good price.
\nIf I need a home equity loan to pay for it,
\nhelp me through that process, too.
\nMake me thankful for my cozy and beautiful home
\nas I invest in it something in return
\nfor the shelter it has provided to me.<\/p>\n

Be with me in this process, Lord.
\nMay it not cost as much money and time
\nas I fear.
\nAnd provide for my needs,
\nas you always do.
\nHelp me not to fret;
\neliminate my disaster thinking,
\nand grant me grace as I carry on.<\/p>\n

[Sureness of Help]
\nLord, already I feel more calm.
\nI know that you see me
\nand you will help me
\nand you keep me from disaster.<\/p>\n

[Subsequent Praise]
\nWhen it’s all done,
\nwhen I have brand-new windows
\nwith a lovely new window treatment
\n(because why not?)
\nand my house put back together —<\/p>\n

It’s time for me to have a party
\nand tell my friends:
\nI was so worried about this;
\nI felt sorry for myself dealing with it on my own,
\nbut the Lord helped me through.<\/p>\n

Okay, that’s my psalm of lament.<\/p>\n

It’s childish, it’s silly. I’m making a fuss over something people deal with all the time.<\/p>\n

But you know what? I feel better after writing that. More equipped to figure out what needs to be done, and not panic about what it will take to do it.<\/p>\n

For you, reader, it’s not that I want to make you listen to all my petty worries. It’s that I want to share that we all have petty worries. And yes, we can pray about them! And for me, the Lament form really helps.<\/p>\n

May the Lord bless you and keep you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m upset over something that happened yesterday. And I feel stupid for being so upset. The something is that in a rainstorm, I discovered my bedroom window is leaking badly. My office window is also leaking. I feel like that shouldn’t upset me so much — and then my mind keeps spinning over reasons why […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65,55],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13303","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-laments","category-praying-with-the-psalmists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13303","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13303"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13303\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13307,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13303\/revisions\/13307"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13303"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13303"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderjourneys\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13303"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}