“Forgiving and forgetting feed our denial system.\u00c2\u00a0 We need to think about, remember, understand, and make good decisions about what we are forgiving, what can be forgotten, and what is still a problem.\u00c2\u00a0 And forgiving someone does not mean we have to let that person keep hurting us….<\/p>\n
“I am not suggesting we adopt an unforgiving attitude.\u00c2\u00a0 We all need forgiveness.\u00c2\u00a0 Grudges and anger hurt us; they don’t help the other person much either.\u00c2\u00a0 Forgiveness is wonderful.\u00c2\u00a0 It wipes the slate clean.\u00c2\u00a0 It clears up guilt.\u00c2\u00a0 It brings peace and harmony.\u00c2\u00a0 It acknowledges and accepts the humanness we all share, and it says, ‘That’s okay.\u00c2\u00a0 I love you anyway.’\u00c2\u00a0 But I believe we codependents need to be gentle, loving, and forgiving with ourselves before we can expect to forgive others.\u00c2\u00a0 But I believe codependents need to think about how, why, and when we dole out forgiveness.<\/p>\n
“Also, forgiveness is closely tied into the acceptance or grief process.\u00c2\u00a0 We cannot forgive someone for doing something if we have not fully accepted what this person has done….<\/p>\n
“Forgiveness comes in time — in its own time — if we are striving to take care of ourselves.”<\/p>\n
— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More,<\/em> p. 197-198<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" “Forgiving and forgetting feed our denial system.\u00c2\u00a0 We need to think about, remember, understand, and make good decisions about what we are forgiving, what can be forgotten, and what is still a problem.\u00c2\u00a0 And forgiving someone does not mean we have to let that person keep hurting us…. “I am not suggesting we adopt an […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,21,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-138","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-forgiveness","category-healing","category-letting-go"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=138"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}