{"id":214,"date":"2007-11-27T10:01:08","date_gmt":"2007-11-27T14:01:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/2007\/11\/27\/you-can-opt-out\/"},"modified":"2007-11-27T10:01:08","modified_gmt":"2007-11-27T14:01:08","slug":"you-can-opt-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/?p=214","title":{"rendered":"You Can Opt Out"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Although from the outside gaslighting can look like the work of a single, abusive gaslighter, a gaslighting relationship always involves the active participation of two people.\u00c2\u00a0 That is, in fact, the good news.\u00c2\u00a0 If you&#8217;re caught in a gaslighting relationship, you may not be able to change the gaslighter&#8217;s behavior, but you can certainly change your own.\u00c2\u00a0 Again, it&#8217;s not easy, but it is simple:\u00c2\u00a0 <em>You can end the gaslighting as soon as you stop trying to win the argument or convince your gaslighter to be reasonable.\u00c2\u00a0 Instead, you can simply opt out.<\/em>&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Gaslighting can occur only when a gaslightee tries &#8212; consciously or not &#8212; to accommodate the gaslighter, or to get him to see things her way, because she so desperately wants his approval so she can feel whole.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212; Dr. Robin Stern, <em>The Gaslight Effect, <\/em>p. 34-35<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Although from the outside gaslighting can look like the work of a single, abusive gaslighter, a gaslighting relationship always involves the active participation of two people.\u00c2\u00a0 That is, in fact, the good news.\u00c2\u00a0 If you&#8217;re caught in a gaslighting relationship, you may not be able to change the gaslighter&#8217;s behavior, but you can certainly change [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,19,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healing","category-letting-go","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=214"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}