It seems to me that I and most of the people I know have forgotten how to grieve like this — not only for others but for ourselves.\u00c2\u00a0 We have forgotten how to grieve at all.\u00c2\u00a0 It no longer comes naturally to us.\u00c2\u00a0 We have to learn it from self-help books and therapists.\u00c2\u00a0 Or we have to do without.<\/p>\n
All I have to offer you is a list of don’ts.\u00c2\u00a0 Don’t forbid painful topics.\u00c2\u00a0 Don’t judge.\u00c2\u00a0 Don’t preach.\u00c2\u00a0 When people tell you of their pain, don’t say anything at all.\u00c2\u00a0 Don’t think, if you can help it, at least at first.\u00c2\u00a0 Just hear it and, if you can, cry.\u00c2\u00a0 Cry for them and for yourself, because you, too, have suffered such things, or will.\u00c2\u00a0 Cry that there is evil in this world, that we are all of us sometimes the victims and often the perpetrators of it.\u00c2\u00a0 Cry that people, however messed up, and even if they themselves caused the misery in which they find themselves, have to suffer at all….\u00c2\u00a0 Remind yourself of these truths about the pain of our world and the sins that occasion it.\u00c2\u00a0 Others’ sins.\u00c2\u00a0 Our own sins.\u00c2\u00a0 Because it is only this grieving, this taking of a knee, that truly comforts us, that connects us to one another and to God.<\/p>\n
— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer,<\/em> p. 96<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It seems to me that I and most of the people I know have forgotten how to grieve like this — not only for others but for ourselves.\u00c2\u00a0 We have forgotten how to grieve at all.\u00c2\u00a0 It no longer comes naturally to us.\u00c2\u00a0 We have to learn it from self-help books and therapists.\u00c2\u00a0 Or we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,21,9,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-340","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-compassion","category-healing","category-life","category-trials"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=340"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=340"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=340"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=340"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}