The man or woman walking beside you is there for one simple reason — out of all the people out there, you chose this person as your partner, faults and all.\u00c2\u00a0 You chose to join with this person and try to make a life together.\u00c2\u00a0 The fact that your partner is with you only because you made a decision to invite him or her to join you is the simplest reason to be more forgiving of this person.\u00c2\u00a0 Your decision to choose this partner also implies that you continue to be able to choose how much effort you will make toward sustaining a loving relationship with him or her.\u00c2\u00a0 It is your positive exercise of choice that will be at the heart of a successful long-term relationship….<\/p>\n
Forgiveness allows you to continue to be kind and to honor your choice even when your partner’s conduct has been poor.\u00c2\u00a0 It allows you to love your partner in ways that accept his or her flawed humanness.\u00c2\u00a0 Continuing to accept that we made a choice when we picked our lover is an ongoing affirmation that is essential in creating a successful relationship….<\/p>\n
When we choose our mate, we select one specific person with whom to try to do our absolute best.\u00c2\u00a0 We promise that person that we will try to be as kind and loving as possible, and that we will practice loyalty and offer solace as needed.\u00c2\u00a0 We also promise to forgive our partner when we can for his or her flaws, weaknesses, silly habits, or selfishness.<\/p>\n
To forgive, you need to understand that everything that has happened in your relationship came about because of your willing decision to join with your partner….\u00c2\u00a0 In this forgiveness step, you take responsibility for your decision, and once you do that, there is no one to blame when things go wrong.<\/p>\n
— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, <\/em>p. 81-87<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The man or woman walking beside you is there for one simple reason — out of all the people out there, you chose this person as your partner, faults and all.\u00c2\u00a0 You chose to join with this person and try to make a life together.\u00c2\u00a0 The fact that your partner is with you only because […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,14,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-forgiveness","category-marriage","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/383","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=383"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/383\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=383"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=383"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=383"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}