{"id":4488,"date":"2016-09-07T23:48:21","date_gmt":"2016-09-08T03:48:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/?p=4488"},"modified":"2016-09-07T23:51:52","modified_gmt":"2016-09-08T03:51:52","slug":"compassion-changes-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/?p=4488","title":{"rendered":"Compassion Changes You."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The use of compassion to cajole someone into changing is especially tragic in abusive relationships, when abused partners are desperate to bring about change.  Their desperation is misconstrued by abusers as pure manipulation, to which they respond angrily and often abusively.  Compassion is a healing emotion for the person who behaves compassionately because it engages Adult brain power to access our deepest humane values.  But it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s helpful to recipients only when they are in the Adult brain.  The Toddler brain does not receive compassion positively.  If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re in an abusive relationship, you must understand that your compassion will change you by putting you more in touch with your humanity, but it will not change your partner.  Only your partner\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s compassion for you will change him or her.<\/p>\n<p>Steven Stosny, PhD, <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.sonderbooks.com\/Nonfiction\/soar_above.html\">Soar Above<\/a><\/em>, p. 52<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The use of compassion to cajole someone into changing is especially tragic in abusive relationships, when abused partners are desperate to bring about change. Their desperation is misconstrued by abusers as pure manipulation, to which they respond angrily and often abusively. Compassion is a healing emotion for the person who behaves compassionately because it engages [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4488","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-compassion","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4488","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4488"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4488\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4488"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4488"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4488"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}