{"id":4512,"date":"2016-09-15T10:38:43","date_gmt":"2016-09-15T14:38:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/?p=4512"},"modified":"2016-09-15T10:52:20","modified_gmt":"2016-09-15T14:52:20","slug":"compassion-and-boundaries","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/?p=4512","title":{"rendered":"Compassion and Boundaries"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Very early on in my work I had discovered that the most compassionate people I interviewed also have the most well-defined and well-respected boundaries.  It surprised me at the time, but now I get it.  They assume that other people are doing the best they can, but they also ask for what they need and they don&#8217;t put up with a lot of crap.  I lived the opposite way:  I assumed that people weren&#8217;t doing their best so I judged them and constantly fought being disappointed, which was easier than setting boundaries.  Boundaries are hard when you want to be liked and when you are a pleaser hell-bent on being easy, fun, and flexible.<\/p>\n<p>Compassionate people ask for what they need.  They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it.  They&#8217;re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212; Bren\u00c3\u00a9 Brown, <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.sonderbooks.com\/Nonfiction\/rising_strong.html\">Rising Strong<\/a><\/em>, p. 114-115.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Very early on in my work I had discovered that the most compassionate people I interviewed also have the most well-defined and well-respected boundaries. It surprised me at the time, but now I get it. They assume that other people are doing the best they can, but they also ask for what they need and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4512","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-compassion","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4512","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4512"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4512\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4512"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4512"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4512"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}