{"id":4539,"date":"2016-09-23T22:58:22","date_gmt":"2016-09-24T02:58:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/?p=4539"},"modified":"2016-09-23T23:01:48","modified_gmt":"2016-09-24T03:01:48","slug":"how-do-i-want-to-feel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/?p=4539","title":{"rendered":"How Do I Want to Feel?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When it comes to feelings, the best strategy is to validate them (briefly) but put your focus on how you <em>want<\/em> to feel.  This approach is more future-oriented and less susceptible to the feedback loop of past mistakes.  More important, it invokes Adult brain values.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I feel resentful, but I <em>want<\/em> to feel kind.&#8221;  With this subtle but crucial shift in focus, past experiences of feeling kind are loaded into implicit memory.  I recognize that I really like myself better at those times, because kindness is part of my value system.  I imagine myself doing things that will bring those feelings to life, such as wishing others happiness and well-being.  I practice allowing myself to be concerned with the well-being of my loved ones.  I practice behaviors that embody my concern for them.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212; Steven Stosny, <em>Soar Above<\/em>, p. 106-107<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When it comes to feelings, the best strategy is to validate them (briefly) but put your focus on how you want to feel. This approach is more future-oriented and less susceptible to the feedback loop of past mistakes. More important, it invokes Adult brain values. &#8220;I feel resentful, but I want to feel kind.&#8221; With [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4539","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-growth","category-healing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4539","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4539"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4539\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}