The key here is going slowly and staying curious.\u00c2\u00a0 Again and again, we have seen couples turn things around simply by asking a lot of questions in the spirit of inquiry, rather than by jumping in to explain themselves.<\/p>\n
The rule to remember is this:\u00c2\u00a0 Understanding comes before explaining.\u00c2\u00a0 Most people reverse this and try their hardest to get their partner to see things their way.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s truly uncanny how it shifts when you can really hear your partner, when you can say “tell me more” and mean it.\u00c2\u00a0 This, of course, is difficult when what your mate is telling you is hard to hear.\u00c2\u00a0 But when you can hold on to it, this approach creates absolutely the right atmosphere for intimate disclosure.<\/p>\n
— Ellyn Bader, PhD, and Peter T. Pearson, PhD, Tell Me No Lies, <\/em>p. 121<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The key here is going slowly and staying curious.\u00c2\u00a0 Again and again, we have seen couples turn things around simply by asking a lot of questions in the spirit of inquiry, rather than by jumping in to explain themselves. The rule to remember is this:\u00c2\u00a0 Understanding comes before explaining.\u00c2\u00a0 Most people reverse this and try […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-479","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=479"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=479"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=479"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=479"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}