{"id":507,"date":"2008-05-28T22:43:07","date_gmt":"2008-05-29T02:43:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/2008\/05\/28\/secret-boundaries\/"},"modified":"2008-05-28T22:43:07","modified_gmt":"2008-05-29T02:43:07","slug":"secret-boundaries","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/?p=507","title":{"rendered":"Secret Boundaries"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The Law of Exposure says that your boundaries need to be made visible to others and communicated to them in relationship.\u00c2\u00a0 We have many boundary problems because of relational fears.\u00c2\u00a0 We are beset by fears of guilt, not being liked, loss of love, loss of connection, loss of approval, receiving anger, being known, and so on.\u00c2\u00a0 These are all failures in love, and God&#8217;s plan is that we learn how to love&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>Because of these fears, we try to have secret boundaries.\u00c2\u00a0 We withdraw passively and quietly, instead of communicating an honest no to someone we love.\u00c2\u00a0 We secretly resent instead of telling someone that we are angry about how they have hurt us.\u00c2\u00a0 Often, we will privately endure the pain of someone&#8217;s irresponsibility instead of telling them how their behavior affects us and other loved ones, information that would be helpful to their soul&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>An important thing to remember about boundaries is that they exist, and they will affect us, whether or not we communicate them&#8230;.\u00c2\u00a0 If our boundaries are not communicated and exposed directly, they will be communicated indirectly or through manipulation.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212; Dr. Henry Cloud &#038; Dr. John Townsend, <em>Boundaries, <\/em>p. 100-101<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Law of Exposure says that your boundaries need to be made visible to others and communicated to them in relationship.\u00c2\u00a0 We have many boundary problems because of relational fears.\u00c2\u00a0 We are beset by fears of guilt, not being liked, loss of love, loss of connection, loss of approval, receiving anger, being known, and so [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-507","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/507","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=507"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/507\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=507"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=507"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=507"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}