A good relationship is worth the effort of letting go of an annoying trait in your partner and being as kind as possible to this person you are connected to.\u00c2\u00a0 Those two ideas are central to your marriage vows.\u00c2\u00a0 A marriage is a choice to recommit to your partner every day.\u00c2\u00a0 Every spouse, whether recovering from a brutal betrayal or simply dealing with a sloppy partner, decides every day wehter to get up and dance with that partner again.\u00c2\u00a0 Every marriage goes through periods when each partner is not sure about continuing it. . . .\u00c2\u00a0 Forgiveness is based upon a continual recommitment to your relationship.\u00c2\u00a0 Forgiveness comes after grieving your losses, and it allows you to move forward in your relationship with happiness and a positive attitude.\u00c2\u00a0 This is true whether the losses were big (your spouse is a drug addict) or little (your lazy partner never does\u00c2\u00a0the grocery run) or somewhere in between — as when you accept the fact that you married a slob, you have grieved the neat person you should have married, and you have recommitted to the lovable human being you chose to be with.<\/p>\n
Recommitting is an ongoing process; you have to recommit every time your lover says the same dumb thing again and you react with your same exasperated sigh.\u00c2\u00a0 You have to recommit when your lover is late yet again, or leaves a cheap tip for the third time in a week.\u00c2\u00a0 If your partner does something annoying but ultimately insignificant, acknowledge your dismay or loss for an instant and then connect right back again.\u00c2\u00a0 Try saying something to help put the annoyance in perspective and get back in the game.\u00c2\u00a0 You could remind yourself that “she’s worth it,” or “it was no big deal.”\u00c2\u00a0 Most of the time you don’t even need to let your lover know he or she has done anything wrong.<\/p>\n
— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, <\/em>p. 199-200<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A good relationship is worth the effort of letting go of an annoying trait in your partner and being as kind as possible to this person you are connected to.\u00c2\u00a0 Those two ideas are central to your marriage vows.\u00c2\u00a0 A marriage is a choice to recommit to your partner every day.\u00c2\u00a0 Every spouse, whether recovering […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,19,15,14,27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-556","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-forgiveness","category-letting-go","category-love","category-marriage","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/556","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=556"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/556\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=556"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=556"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=556"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}