{"id":571,"date":"2008-07-23T23:27:19","date_gmt":"2008-07-24T03:27:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/2008\/07\/23\/boundaries-in-marriage\/"},"modified":"2008-07-23T23:27:19","modified_gmt":"2008-07-24T03:27:19","slug":"boundaries-in-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/?p=571","title":{"rendered":"Boundaries in Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Remember that a boundary always deals with yourself, not the other person.\u00c2\u00a0 You are not demanding that your spouse do something &#8212; even respect your boundaries.\u00c2\u00a0 You are setting boundaries to say what you will do or will not do.\u00c2\u00a0 Only these kinds of boundaries are enforceable, for you <em>do <\/em>have control over yourself.\u00c2\u00a0 Do not confuse boundaries with a new way to control a spouse.\u00c2\u00a0 It is the opposite.\u00c2\u00a0 It is giving up control and beginning to love.\u00c2\u00a0 You are giving up trying to control your spouse and allowing him to take responsibility for his behavior.<\/p>\n<p>In a marriage, as in no other relationship, the need for revealing your boundaries is important.\u00c2\u00a0 Passive boundaries, such as withdrawal, triangulation, pouting, affairs, and passive-aggressive behavior, are extremely destructive to a relationship.\u00c2\u00a0 Passive ways of showing people that they do not have control over you never lead to intimacy.\u00c2\u00a0 They never educate the other on who you really are; they only estrange.<\/p>\n<p>Boundaries need to be communicated first verbally and then with actions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Remember that a boundary always deals with yourself, not the other person.\u00c2\u00a0 You are not demanding that your spouse do something &#8212; even respect your boundaries.\u00c2\u00a0 You are setting boundaries to say what you will do or will not do.\u00c2\u00a0 Only these kinds of boundaries are enforceable, for you do have control over yourself.\u00c2\u00a0 Do [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,14,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-letting-go","category-marriage","category-truth"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=571"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}