Realizing that verbal abuse is not rational, it becomes clear that the man indulging in it can’t hear a rational response from his partner.\u00c2\u00a0 But it is difficult for the partner not to respond with a rational explanation.\u00c2\u00a0 For instance, she may say she didn’t deserve to be yelled at, or she didn’t do what she is being accused of, even when she knows that rational explanations just won’t work.\u00c2\u00a0 It takes enormous conscious effort for the partner not to explain herself to her mate.\u00c2\u00a0 It usually seems to her that\u00c2\u00a0he is rational and will apologize and not do it again.<\/p>\n
Women often talk about how hard it is to remember that there is no point in their ever responding rationally to verbal abuse, even when they know that verbal abuse is a lie.\u00c2\u00a0 However, it is important for you to keep in mind that since the verbal abuse is a lie, it is incomprehensible.\u00c2\u00a0 You must decide to see it as so untrue, so unimaginable, so unreal, that you simply say, “What?” or “What did you say?” or “What are you doing?”\u00c2\u00a0 This may gently prod him toward hearing himself if he starts defining you in any way.<\/p>\n
— Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Man, <\/em>p. 108<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Realizing that verbal abuse is not rational, it becomes clear that the man indulging in it can’t hear a rational response from his partner.\u00c2\u00a0 But it is difficult for the partner not to respond with a rational explanation.\u00c2\u00a0 For instance, she may say she didn’t deserve to be yelled at, or she didn’t do what […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,27,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-670","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healing","category-relationships","category-truth"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/670","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=670"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/670\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sonderbooks.com\/sonderquotes\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}