A Hymn to LifeShame Has to Change Sides
Review posted June 3, 2026.
Books on Tape, 2026. 7 hours, 23 minutes.
Review written May 19, 2026, from a library eaudiobook.
Starred Review
This book mentions some horrific events - and I'm so glad I read it. I came away encouraged and emboldened and so full of admiration for Gisèle Pelicot.
Gisèle Pelicot is the famous case of a woman who was drugged and raped by her husband and offered up to other men over a period of ten years. When it came time for the trial in 2024, she made the decision not to have a closed court, as most women did. Because, as she'd heard in a slogan before, "Shame has to change sides." Besides, she didn't want to be shut in a room with fifty-two men who had raped her and their lawyers. Let public outcry help them begin to face up to what they had done.
The book opens in 2020 when Madame Pelicot and her husband were asked to come to the police station. From here on out, I'll do as she did and call him Dominique, since he is not her husband any longer. Gisèle knew that he had recently been arrested for taking video up women's skirts in a grocery store - and the police had seized his phone and computer.
After they arrived at the station, they were taken to different rooms. Gisèle didn't realize that Dominique was being arrested. But in the room where she was taken, a compassionate police officer showed her pictures of a woman who looked like she was dead being sexually abused by Dominique and many other men. They confirmed that the woman in the pictures was Gisèle, and no, she had not consented to any of this and had no knowledge of any of this.
Of course she was in complete shock that first day. The news brought devastation to her whole family.
She also tells the story of her childhood and how they met. They both had tough childhoods - his with a sexually abusive father - and she'd always thought they'd rescued each other. Looking back, there were some red flags, but she'd thought they were just regular bumps in a marriage.
Something I appreciate about her story is that she refuses to give up all her good memories of Dominique. They had decades of what she thought was a good marriage, three children, and plenty of love and laughter between them.
I appreciated this because my own ex-husband had an affair and left me - not anywhere near as big an offense - but I, too, refuse to give up my good memories of him or deny that I was happy in those many years of our marriage. Like Gisèle, I was told plenty of lies - though, again, certainly not nearly as many - but enough to relate to her experience of having to figure out her past and what was real and what was lies.
And she was dealing with at least ten years of deception. Her mother died of a brain tumor when Gisèle was nine years old, so when she started having blackouts, she assumed she was going to die like her mother. She also had strange vaginal discharges. She saw multiple doctors and had tests run, with Dominique solicitously accompanying her - and they didn't find any problems. But she even stopped driving because she'd had an incident in a car when she couldn't stay on the road. And when the detectives checked her hair, they discovered traces of the poisons Dominique had been giving her. All her symptoms cleared up when he was in prison.
I was chilled by a story when, early on, she'd teased him, "You aren't drugging me, are you?" - and he started crying that she would accuse him of such a thing, even in jest! I've learned that's a common self-defense mechanism of liars. My own ex would say "How dare you accuse me of... " such and so - and I'd always find out later that's exactly what he'd done. As they say about Donald Trump, "Every accusation is a confession" - but at the time, when it's your beloved husband making the accusation, it is amazingly effective at making a wife feel guilty for even a fleeting thought that he could have done anything bad.
Another thing that struck me was the compassion and dedication of the police officers who investigated and uncovered the truth of what Dominique had done. They had to go through graphic videos to compile the evidence. Would American authorities have shown the same diligence and care for sexually assaulted women or girls? The way they're handling the Epstein files makes me not at all sure. So I appreciate that it was law enforcement who got this man - and his many recruits - put behind bars.
There were many stages in Gisèle's healing journey, and of course she will always have work to do. But I was happy to see her spirit lighten when she found a home of her own on an island (instead of living with her kids, who were also traumatized) and made new friends in the neighborhood. And then she found a loving and compassionate man to be her new partner in life. (Or rather those new friends set them up.)
And then the biggest turning point was when she decided not to have a closed court case after all. She decided not to be ashamed of what they had done to her. Let the world know, so that these men would be ashamed. Shame has to change sides.
She knew she'd made the right choice when she started getting a flood of letters from other women. And women showed up in throngs around the courthouse to show her their love and support. Women across the world felt that she was standing up for us.
And I appreciate the title of the book. Gisèle Pelicot is a woman who celebrates life. She has not let the bullies win. Despite what was done to her, she refuses to be ashamed, and she refuses to let that ruin the rest of her life. The book ends with a joyful relishing of life - not a life without difficulties, but still a happy life.
Oh, and I love that they chose Emma Thompson to read the audiobook. I know her British accent is not a French one, but her cultivated voice gives Gisèle the elegance and grace she deserves as she tells her story of standing up for the truth.