I'm Sorry You Got Mad

written by Kyle Lukoff
illustrated by Julie Kwon

Review posted October 6, 2024.
Dial Books for Young Readers, 2024. 32 pages.
Review written October 2, 2024, from a library book.
Starred Review

Want to teach young children about apologies? This is the book for you!

But at the same time, the brilliance of this picture book is that it's not a how-to book; it's an engaging story that will make you laugh and make you care about the kids involved.

And it's a scenario that kids will feel deeply. Read this book to kids before they need to apologize, and it will be much, much easier for them to understand when it's needed.

The book begins with an obviously furious Jack writing notes to Zoe and throwing them in the trash. We get to read the notes as they progress. One of the first ones says this:

DEAR ZOE,
I'M SORRY YOU GOT SO MAD!!!
JACK

Dear Jack,
Please try again.
Love,
Ms. Rice

The next one adds "But it wasn't my fault!!!" and a note from Ms. Rice to check in with her.

Later letters build the situation: Zoe built a castle and it got knocked over by accident. And then we learn that Jack thought it was really cool, but Ben and Jeremy said castles were for girls so he couldn't play with them. And he got mad and knocked it over. (It takes many letters for us to get that story.)

Somewhere in the middle, Ms. Rice tells Jack that an apology needs three things:

1) What I did
2) That I'm sorry
3) And I'll help you fix it.

It takes Jack many tries, and you can see his heart getting softer. Finally, we see him giving a note to Zoe:

Dear Zoe,
I'm very sorry I knocked down your castle. I know I hurt your feelings. I want to help you build a new one, if that's okay. But you don't have to let me.
Your Friend,
Jack

The book isn't finished until we see Zoe's note in reply, acknowledging that she was mad but she feels better now. And the book wraps up with a picture of them building a castle together.

Mind you, along this whole book, the pictures tell stories, too. First of Jack furiously angry. Then watching other kids having fun. Slowly softening (with setbacks). And there are two other kids who are pictured at the end angry and writing letters - so you go back and see what happened with them.

It's all brilliant on many levels, including the simple one of modeling a sincere apology and how difficult it is to get to that place, but also telling us a story and making us care about Jack and Zoe and the restoration of their friendship.

Come to think of it, I can think of many adults who could learn from reading this to their child. And I take it as a good reminder myself.