483. The Garbage Disposal Works!

February 5th, 2012

More than a year ago, I had a hot casserole dish, and I foolishly tried to rinse it out while it was still hot. It shattered in the sink. To add to my folly, I couldn’t get all the pieces out of the garbage disposal, so I thought I’d try turning it on. The garbage disposal broke.

I went online for instructions to try to fix it, and tried and tried, but no luck. I bought a sink strainer and tried to keep things out of it.

This morning I was thinking that I really should call my plumber neighbor and find out how much it would cost to have him replace it.

But first, today I was decluttering. My friend told me that she was going to pay her cleaning lady to clean for me, and I thought we had agreed to have her come this afternoon. (But that was a couple weeks ago. I should have gotten the phone number!) Anyway, with the threat of someone coming to clean, I decided I’d better clear all the piles of clutter off my counters, including my toolkit, which I’d brought upstairs to fix the disposal, as well as the printed directions, very spattered and dust-covered.

Before I put the toolkit away, I took the wrench and gave the disposal one more turn. It went a lot further without obstruction than it had before. So I tried it. And it WORKED! It really WORKED! I have a garbage disposal again!

The cleaning lady never did come. But I got all kinds of decluttering done. Now it will be much easier to clean the house myself. And I’m so happy to have a garbage disposal again.

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482. New Year’s Reading

January 7th, 2012

Today I posted my convoluted Reading Plan for 2012. Spreadsheets and Award Lists and ARCs, oh my!

I had so much fun making this plan! I’m happy and thankful that I know what I enjoy, however unusual, and can indulge myself at times. Thinking about this plan made me smile all day, even though I’m still not feeling good.

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481. My Own Personal Sing-Along Messiah

December 25th, 2011

I remember when I would have been so delighted for any excuse not to cook Christmas dinner. This year, I had a nice excuse (an invitation to my friend’s house), but I wanted to make a nice dinner so much, I made it tonight after the Christmas Eve service. I’m happy that cooking a Christmas dinner doesn’t stress me out any more.

It actually started because on Thanksgiving I was alone at home — with an even more perfect excuse not to cook. But I found myself hungry for the Mushroom Stuffing I make every year. So I bought a 1-pound turkey breast and cooked my favorite parts of Thanksgiving dinner, just for the fun of it. Wow! I cooked turkey just for the fun of it! (There were times when that definitely stressed me out.)

Tonight my son was with me, so I decided I wanted to cook tonight and then eat leftovers for the rest of the weekend. (Plus dinner tomorrow at my friend’s house, and I made Chocolate Angel Pie tonight to bring.) And I’m still delighted and surprised that I cooked a turkey dinner for the fun of it. (This time the smallest I could find was a 3-pound turkey breast, but it turned out delicious.)

Another tradition I have, while cooking on Christmas Day, is to play my CDs of Handel’s Messiah and sing along at the top of my lungs, shamelessly screeching up to those glorious high notes.

The Christmas Eve service tonight was just beautiful. Though I was reminded that I really didn’t feel good, and walking around made it worse, as did standing and singing, and I started thinking about what a downer it would be if I keeled over or ran out of the room calling 911. (I didn’t. But thinking about it was distracting.)

But at home, pretending no one could hear me (Tim is very nice about not teasing. I suspect he’s used to me.), I forgot about how I felt, and just enjoyed the beautiful music.

“He shall feed his flock like a Shepherd;
and He shall gather the lambs with His arm,
and carry them in His bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young.”

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480. Answers

December 23rd, 2011

For several weeks now, I’ve been feeling bad. But the feelings were hard to describe. It was a sort of low-grade dizziness with low-grade headache. But not quite really dizziness, and not quite a headache. I just knew I felt sick and wanted to lie down. Twice, on October 28 and December 3, I went to the ER. But they did a CT scan to determine I hadn’t had another stroke, and I hadn’t. The first time, they did an MRI and MRA as well, but those were stable. The second time, after the CT scan showed no change, they sent me home with instructions to see the neurologist the next week. My Coumadin levels were fine, so they told me I was safe from another stroke.

Well, the neurologist didn’t have any appointments available until yesterday (almost 3 weeks later). I kept feeling worse and worse, with a solid two weeks of that light-headed feeling, even when in bed.

When I finally saw the neurologist, he also wasn’t impressed with the symptoms I couldn’t describe. Said that could just be from an unrelated neck problem. But then he did a neurological test, and his tune changed.

I passed all the neurological tests I’d passed before, except one. When I looked up and to the right, I saw double, and the doctor said my left eye wasn’t tracking with my right eye.

I wasn’t alarmed by that. But then the doctor told me I’d probably had another stroke, a mini-stroke this time. That did get me startled. Because if I could have another stroke while on coumadin, what’s protecting me?

I’m going to get another MRA & MRI done next week to confirm the diagnosis. But on reflection, in a weird way I feel validated. I knew I felt bad. I knew something was wrong. But the doctors kept telling me I was fine. So I was attempting to ignore my feelings and just keep chugging along.

Now I know that paying attention to my body was the right thing to do. And what do you know, I feel a lot like I did after I first had a stroke. Most things I could find about recovering from a stroke focused on regaining function. But at least one site did say that you will be tired after a stroke. It makes how I’m feeling make a whole lot more sense.

It also makes me feel much less guilty to still need time off work and a lot more sleep than usual and be behind on everything related to Christmas. Hey, I had another stroke.

Another thing: Twice now, I was either incredibly lucky or incredibly protected. I’m going to choose to believe I’m incredibly protected. Yes, I’ll pay attention to my body. But twice now, something much, much worse could have happened to me. I am so thankful to be alive and functioning. I am blessed.

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479. Prayer

December 10th, 2011

I haven’t been feeling at all well for awhile, and it seems to be a result of my stroke and vertebral artery dissection back in July. I’ve got a persistent dizziness, with low-grade headache. I’ve gone to the Emergency Room twice, but they determine I haven’t had another stroke, and send me back home.

Anyway, last night my Home Fellowship group prayed over me. And you know, whether I get better quickly or not, their prayer at the very least made me feel loved and cared for — and reminded me that God loves and cares for me, too. I am very much hoping for healing. But in the meantime, it feels good to have my brothers and sisters in Christ lifting me up to God. And encourages me to carry on, no matter how much longer this will take.

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478. Mushroom Stuffing

November 26th, 2011

I wasn’t going to cook Thanksgiving dinner this year, since I was home alone. But then I got to thinking about how good that mushroom stuffing always comes out. It’s from a Betty Crocker cookbook. A basic bread stuffing: celery and onion cooked in butter, with bread cubes, salt, pepper, sage, and thyme mixed in. And I do the yummy variation where you add mushrooms in with the celery and onion. Mmm. It’s just good. And this year, I don’t have to share!

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477. Thanksgiving

November 25th, 2011

I post this every year, but I’m thankful for it every year! Last year, I got to join my family’s big huge celebration. This year, I’m at home alone, resting and catching up on things I haven’t had energy to do while working. Both ways are lovely.

I love that we celebrate a holiday to give thanks. It seems to me to be a holiday that transcends religion. Every religion promotes giving thanks, and atheists can take the opportunity to thank people in their lives. The fact is, taking time to give thanks makes a person happier.

Of course, if you think of it as a holiday that honors the Pilgrims coming and bringing diseases to the Native Americans, that would be a down side. I don’t think of it that way! The Pilgrims had the good idea (not new to them) of taking time to give thanks. It’s a great idea; let’s keep it up!

It does seem to me that the whole idea of going crazy shopping on the day after Thanksgiving is rather an Opposite Holiday. After all, isn’t Black Friday about focusing on what you don’t have and what you need and spending as little as possible on that, no matter how great the inconvenience? I guess I wouldn’t really know because I absolutely refuse to go shopping on Thanksgiving weekend. But that Black Friday has gotten a name (certainly not a flattering one, at least) and is now impinging on Thanksgiving makes me sad. I also refuse to put up Christmas decorations before December 1st. (My ex-husband’s birthday is November 30, so that was my old excuse. But it still seems so much nicer to leave November for Thanksgiving.)

Anyway, I had a restful, lovely day today, and got a bit more done than on Thanksgiving, and got some nice rest, too. I am thankful for my life! And thankful for a whole weekend to count my many blessings.

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476. My Interview

November 22nd, 2011

I had an interview yesterday for a promotion — a Youth Services Manager position at a Regional Library, a Librarian II position. I’ve been a Youth Services Manager before, but only at a Community Library, so it was a Librarian I position. And after I got RIF’d, when I came back to the library system I came back as an Information Services Librarian in the Adult Services department (though I still get to help kids find books).

Anyway, I thought the interview went well. There were no trick questions, and I liked the people doing the interview. I do feel like I was able to express that I would be great at the job. But I have no idea who else they are interviewing, and they won’t finish interviewing until next week. If I don’t get it, well, I won’t have to drive so far! But I am happy about how it went for me.

And I’m especially thankful that I was feeling clear-headed all day yesterday — until well AFTER the interview. This is significant, because I’ve been having a lot of trouble with what I call “fuzzy-headedness.” It’s not quite dizziness and not quite a headache, but definitely an off-balance feeling that something’s not quite right, and I’d like to lie down. It gets worse when I stand up, but some days (like today, and the day before yesterday) I wake up feeling like that first thing in the morning.

I had a lot of trouble with fuzzy-headedness the first month after my stroke. Then it got better, but then I had a setback, and for the last few weeks I’m having trouble with it again. However, I did not have any trouble during my interview, and I’m so thankful for that! I do think it was an answer to prayer, as I had asked friends to pray that I would feel good for the interview — and I did!

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475. Autumn Woods

November 12th, 2011

I don’t think I’ve mentioned the incredibly gorgeous Autumn leaves yet this year. This year, I haven’t been up to doing much hiking, as I’m still recovering from my vertebral artery dissection and stroke. However, the leaves here are so glorious, you can run errands and make wrong turns and still be blown away by the beautiful leaves. At my work place, across the street there are some red trees. When the sunlight hits them, the windows on that side of the building look like they are aflame. It’s so breathtakingly beautiful, yet seen in the middle of a perfectly ordinary day.

Yesterday I had the day off, but my son and all the neighborhood kids were in school. Even though I wasn’t feeling well, I took a short walk to our neighborhood creek in the woods. A lot of the leaves were already down, but a lot were still in the trees, and it was still simply wonderful.

Having grown up in Southern California, I even yet find all the beauty here in Autumn something of a miracle. And even compared with the other places I’ve lived, I have to say this part of Virginia is stunning. There are so many trees, and so many that turn bright reds and yellows and oranges. Autumn lasts a long time, too, with us still having plenty of color even now, almost halfway through November.

What a blessing!

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474. A New Recipe

November 6th, 2011

Tonight I tried a new recipe, for Veggie Spaghetti, and it turned out delicious! I wasn’t feeling good today, and had spent a lot of time in bed, but I was able to make dinner, and that was nice.

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