145. My Life

This morning I spent a few minutes indulging in envy.

Never mind why, except to say that it wasn’t about a person , it was about life — how other people seem to have what I thought my life would be like.

Then the great blue heron flew across my view, with the shining lake behind it. And I gave my thoughts a shaking.

The truth? Despite some hard things, I wouldn’t trade my life with anyone else’s.

Besides the fact that it’s my life, doggone it!, I have been blessed by so many things.

I got to live in Germany for 10 years! I wouldn’t trade that away for anything. I loved living there, and it broadened my horizons.

Of course I wouldn’t trade my two wonderful children for anyone else’s children. They didn’t turn out as I expected them to — and they have taught me so much! And they are such wonderful people!

No, I wouldn’t have chosen to go through a divorce — but having been through one has made me a better person — more compassionate, less judgmental (Well, except toward men who have affairs), softer hearted, more reliant on God, more attentive to His voice, and even with a better understanding that I am lovable (Because I was forced to realize that).

If I hadn’t gotten divorced, I wouldn’t have become a librarian, discovered how good it feels to have a career, or even be working full-time. I wouldn’t be standing for Newbery committee.

I wouldn’t live in Northern Virginia near my long-time and newer dear friends. I wouldn’t have joined gaming groups. I wouldn’t have this cozy home by the lake or gotten so many opportunities to take pictures of great blue herons.

And there’s more. But I’ve already come far enough to be smiling.

And to no longer feel like envying anyone.

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