While Waiting

I was talking with a friend this week. She also is single, and she’d like to find a life partner. She wants the person God has for her. And has no idea what’s taking God so long to bring him into her life.

She hasn’t been passive. She’s done the online dating. She prays about it often.

And, yes, I’m in the same situation. No, I haven’t been looking as long as she has. I’ve only recently felt enough recovered from my divorce to have any desire to date.

But yes, that desire is there. I recently expanded my search radius (regarding physical distance) on an online dating site, and found a profile of a man who sounded like a wonderful match for me. I even sent a message. He’d last been online the day before.

It’s been two weeks — and he hasn’t been online since. So much for that. At least I don’t feel rejected, since he never even read my message.

And I have to believe that God had a hand in even that. That maybe he would not have been such a good match as he seemed from what I read. Or simply that the time is not right for us to meet.

There’s a balance between being passive and being active — and I want to find the place of trust.

Anyway, I was having my quiet time this morning, and God gave me a lot of comfort. I thought it would be worthwhile trying to share some of that comfort, trying to talk about my journey — for the sake of the other women in the same situation.

After this introduction, I’m hoping I can be shorter with more regular posts. Today some key thoughts were:

1) God is so good. And my life is so good right now.

Last night, I went to a gaming group and had a wonderful time playing board games and card games with three men whom I’m friends with, one a co-worker and a particularly good friend. He’s in a relationship, and we’ve figured out we’re not a match — but he’s still such a good friend, and gives me a male perspective on things. And he’s the first very close friend I’ve had who’s a man since my marriage fell apart (from my ex-husband being *too* good a friend with a female friend) — and I had missed that, and treasure it now.

Today I’m going to go see Cinderella with a lifelong girlfriend, and I’m really looking forward to that. I find myself singing “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” — such a lovely song.

I am loving my job lately, and feel like I get to make a difference, and get to bring a lot of joy to it.

I still love my home which I bought two years ago. The small lake outside my window, and the wildlife that frequents it and the flowers that bloom around it all simply feed my soul.

I once heard Christel Nani say that giving thanks is a wonderful way to live in the present — to keep from obsessing about the past (a problem after a betrayal) or worrying about the future. It’s also good to keep from focusing on what you don’t have.

2) God has brought me through so much. It was not at all what I wanted or expected, but he has brought good out of it all.

The verse for this is Hosea 2:14 —

Therefore I am going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.
There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Trouble a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

Leading me into the desert was alluring me?

Actually, So Much YES. I have learned so much about the tender love of God *because* of all I went through.

3. God is still writing my story. And I can still trust him.

In the Psalms, David doesn’t pray by telling God what to do. He tells God where he is and what he’s feeling. He reminds himself what God has done in the past. And he joyfully realizes that he can trust God and that he knows what God will do is good.

As for what comes next in my life? Today I’m able to say these words with the Psalmist, which I hope will also encourage my sisters and cousins who would like some romantic love in their lives:

Psalm 27:13-14 —

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.

So that’s where I am today. But this is so much a journey.

How about you? Does any of this ring true and help you on your journey?

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