16. Good Counsel

Today my pastor and his wife took me to lunch.  They gave me wise counsel, a listening ear, good advice, and loving support.

I mentioned in my list of good things about living alone, I’ve been experiencing the Empty Nest Blues lately.  These blues are tied in with some other big things happening in my life lately, and also with enduring scars from my divorce.

I so wish I was done with dealing with that.  I also know how to deal with the blues — Strategies include giving thanks and talking with loving, caring people, among other things — but a part of me doesn’t like the weakness that I keep on having to deal with it.

Diane and Ed were kind.  Reminded me that I’ve got plenty of losses to grieve, and grieving is a process.

Also today my cousin posted about her own griefs.  And made a wise statement that sometimes grieving losses and celebrating blessings happens at the same time.

I think that’s part of the trouble I’m having accepting my own grief — It feels ungrateful to have these feelings when I’m so blessed.

But yes, life happens.  Emotions happen in all their riotous confusion.  I could choose to go numb about them all.  But how much better to experience life in all its craziness.  My painful emotions prove I’m still alive, still tenderhearted, still a caring person.

And the most valuable gift my pastor and his wife gave me?  With their time and attention and care and concern, they helped me feel loved and cared for.  And reminded me that indeed I am loved and cared for.

And very blessed.

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