Today my son came back from his summer internship!
Never mind that I have to take him back to college — for his last semester — in less than 48 hours.
It is simply wonderful to have him home with me.
And we talked and talked for at least an hour.
And that’s just lovely.
I am blessed to have two children who have grown into such fine adults.
And tonight I get to be with one of them.
This makes me happy.
Today we had a retirement party for one of my co-workers, Lynne Imre. They don’t come any nicer than Lynne Imre! And she’s great at her job, too.
And that reminds me how blessed I am with fantastic co-workers working at the library. I like Library People. They’re book people; they’re smart (always learning); they’re in a job to help people.
Okay, this one’s probably silly. But I currently have a jigsaw puzzle out that’s a painting of Killarney in Ireland.
I play some Christian music while working on a jigsaw puzzle and feel happy.
A quiet blessing, but it is one.
Today was the third of three programs that TechShop DC/Arlington has done for us at the City of Fairfax Regional Library. There was a vinyl cutting program where the kids learned to create stickers on the vinyl cutter, Sphero Robotic Ball Racing where the kids made an obstacle course from cardboard and then ran the robot spheres through it, and today Computer Deconstruction where the TechShop folks brought in two old computers and lots of tools and showed the kids how to take them apart and how they work inside.
All of the programs were fantastic. I’m jazzed that we were able to bring them to kids.
Today it delighted me to see the kids start out kind of reserved and holding back…
But once the drill came out…
They got more and more engaged.
I simply loved seeing them get better and better at figuring out how to take each next layer apart. They were having a fantastic time; they were feeling empowered; and they were discovering really cool stuff deep inside the computers!
It was an awesome thing to watch!
Today my pastor and his wife took me to lunch. They gave me wise counsel, a listening ear, good advice, and loving support.
I mentioned in my list of good things about living alone, I’ve been experiencing the Empty Nest Blues lately. These blues are tied in with some other big things happening in my life lately, and also with enduring scars from my divorce.
I so wish I was done with dealing with that. I also know how to deal with the blues — Strategies include giving thanks and talking with loving, caring people, among other things — but a part of me doesn’t like the weakness that I keep on having to deal with it.
Diane and Ed were kind. Reminded me that I’ve got plenty of losses to grieve, and grieving is a process.
Also today my cousin posted about her own griefs. And made a wise statement that sometimes grieving losses and celebrating blessings happens at the same time.
I think that’s part of the trouble I’m having accepting my own grief — It feels ungrateful to have these feelings when I’m so blessed.
But yes, life happens. Emotions happen in all their riotous confusion. I could choose to go numb about them all. But how much better to experience life in all its craziness. My painful emotions prove I’m still alive, still tenderhearted, still a caring person.
And the most valuable gift my pastor and his wife gave me? With their time and attention and care and concern, they helped me feel loved and cared for. And reminded me that indeed I am loved and cared for.
And very blessed.
Okay, I’ll admit it: The last few days, maybe even few weeks (since I got back from visiting family on the west coast), I’ve had some bouts of the Empty Nest Blues.
My youngest son is doing a summer internship in Portland, Oregon this year. He’s working at the same company my oldest works for. He just turned 21. He’s graduating after just one more semester; and he’s talking about moving back to Portland after he does.
On top of that, it seems lately I’ve gotten more than my share of bozos and scammers contacting me on the online dating site I’m on — all emphasizing that I’m living alone.
Mind you, my mind is fine with it. I enjoy living alone! But my heart is missing my kids, missing having a husband who’s in love with me, and, well, a little extra prone to the blues lately.
However — there are many, many wonderful things about living alone. And I’m going to continue to go over and over those blessings in my mind — and hope the message will eventually get to my heart.
First, living alone is much, much better than living with a husband who actively dislikes me and is working to tear me down and explain why he can’t possibly live with me. Enough said.
It’s amazing how much less time I have to spend on chores like cleaning and cooking and shopping. I don’t have to clean up after anyone except myself!
I can play music I love as loud as I want and as long as I want. No one is bothered a bit.
I can read as late as I want with the lights on. No one is bothered a bit.
I can go to my gaming group every Friday night without finding out if anyone else wants to go and without feeling like I’m neglecting anyone.
I can jaunt off to the Smithsonian on a whim if I want to.
I can live in a smallish, cozy condo which I chose based on what I like (the view) and which has no yard work whatsoever.
I can be as active in my church as I wish to be — arrive early and leave late. I’m not bothering anyone if I linger and talk.
I can spend lots of time working on my website, and again, I’m not bothering anyone by not spending time with them. (See also less time doing chores and more time reading.)
I’m working on writing a book. Again, spending time doing this doesn’t bother anyone.
I can do a jigsaw puzzle on the dining room table or coffee table, and it’s not in anyone’s way.
Groceries cost an impressive amount less.
I can have just as long a quiet time every day as I want. I can memorize verses by reading them out loud — no one notices.
I can sing at the top of my lungs.
I can surround myself with things I love (meaning books, yarn, and games).
And… you know what? I think it’s time to give my sister a call. But I can do that, too!
Honestly, I’m telling my heart — there’s an up side….
Am I protesting too much? No, these are indeed wonderful things. And I really do believe that God loves me and is with me and looking after me. I do not want to pray for patience in this season of life — I want to pray to enjoy it fully.
Yesterday, at long last, the audiobook for The Screaming Staircase, by Jonathan Stroud, came to the library. Such fun!
This reminded me how blessed I am to have essentially unlimited access to audiobooks. It makes my fairly long commute a joy instead of a chore.
Okay, I told myself when I restarted this blog that I will focus on being grateful for present blessings. However, this evening I played the game “Castles of Mad King Ludwig” — and that reminded me of several things I love.
First, I love playing games. And I love that I have people in my life who also love playing games and that we can get together now and then to do it. (These are different people than the regular Friday Night Gaming Group I was already thankful for.)
And it’s fun to win every now and then. And that particular game is fun even if you don’t win, because you get to build a “castle.” Which is a silly thing to be happy about, but it makes me happy.
And of course that also reminded me how much I love castles, and how blessed I am that I got to visit 167 of them while I lived in Germany, including some Castles of Mad King Ludwig.
It all just made me happy. I have had and continue to have a wonderful life, with plenty of rather silly blessings. Life is good.
I think positive affirmations are a good thing.
I’ve read books by Louise Hay which teach this. The other day, a friend mentioned that when someone defines you negatively, just denying that definition reinforces it in your brain. (It doesn’t help to try to counteract it by saying, “I’m not a bad mother.” It’s better to say something positive: “I am a loving and accepting mother.”)
And Christian songs add music to positive affirmations. They are powerful.
I’m going to include a couple that have blessed me recently.
The Glorious Unfolding speaks directly to my bewilderment in not having the life I expected at this time in my life.
Sovereign Over Us reminds me that God is good and loving, and He is in control.
I’ll admit it — Summer isn’t my favorite time to work in the library, when it can be something of a madhouse.
But one thing I do like? The look on kids’ faces when they bring in their completed list of 15 books they’ve read for the Summer Reading Program. I like asking them which book was their favorite. I like talking to them about books before the summer starts. I like finding books for them they’ve heard about and want to read.
I’m glad I have a part in motivating ordinary kids — kids from every imaginable ethnicity and walk of life — to read during the summer. And I am happy with them when they meet the goal and receive their prize.