Category: Joy

Mr. MacDougall, my English professor at Biola, said, “Joy is the hallmark of the Christian.”

In the last few days, this theme keeps coming up again and again and again, in my reading, in today’s sermon, even in e-mails.

Yes, there are some difficult things in my life.  I am waiting and praying for my marriage to be restored.

But while I am waiting, I want to choose Joy.

Joy is about gratitude.  God gives us so many good gifts.  Even little things like utterly glorious weather on this long weekend.

It’s easy to let busy-ness rob our joy.  I’ve been guilty of that so much of my life.  So busy thinking about what I should be doing and figuring out how to fit it all in, that I’m not enjoying any of it.

Let it go.  Do what you can.  ENJOY it!

I’m coming up on a busy, busy, busy time at work.  I’ll be visiting 5 different local elementary schools, promoting the summer reading program and doing booktalks for the kids.  May I not forget how lucky I am to have this job, to get to talk about books!

No, I’m sure I won’t do a perfect job of it.  I’ll stumble over my words in places, and some of the kids will definitely be bored.

But I will be good enough.  And some kids will be intrigued by some of the books they hear about.  And some kids will do the Summer Reading Program who might not have otherwise.

And I am very blessed to have this job!

I Choose JOY.

Today I finished reading Before Green Gables, by Budge Wilson, a prequel to Anne of Green Gables.  I thought it would be depressing — Anne’s childhood was hard — but it showed how Anne found transcendent moments, even as a child, even with a hard life.

I thought of the Proverb, “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.”

I’d like to be like Anne — thoroughly enjoying things worth enjoying, without apology.

I thought about my many travels with Steve.  We’ve been all over the world.  From the start, I “collected” castles, and just loved to roam over castles and take pictures.

I think a lot of the time, especially in the beginning, Steve thoroughly enjoyed the trips with me.

But toward the end, especially after he had already decided the marriage was over, he went through the motions, but his heart wasn’t in it at all.  (You can actually see this in the pictures over the years.)

It’s hard to take joy in something when someone you love is there in body, but not at all entering into the experience.

It’s wonderful to share a transcendent experience with someone.  My last trip to Paris with the Sisters of Royaumont was a glorious example.

But it’s also freeing to not have to worry about being with people who aren’t having a good time.  To just have responsibility for yourself, and be able to thoroughly enjoy something.  A painting of a forest in France.  A blooming branch.  A field of daffodils.  A twisted tree limb.  A brisk breeze.

My life has many joyful moments.  One nice thing about living as a single person is the chance to thoroughly enjoy God’s blessings, without apology.

Yes, it was yet more wonderful when my husband was enjoying life with me, for example, treasuring our arrival in Europe.  But now I don’t have to feel bad if he is not sharing my joy.  I’m sorry for it.  I still pray for him daily — particularly that he will find Joy and know God’s great love — but how do I express this freeing sensation?  I am realizing that I am not responsible, in any way whatsoever, for his happiness or his choices.

And I am free to choose Joy.