Two Teenagers

Family 0

Today my younger son turns 13.  So from now until next March 19, I am the proud mother of two teenagers.

I’ve got it easy–the older one is off at college and has already moved out, so I’m not actually living with two teenagers.  But I do have two teenage sons, and I’m bursting with pride in them.

Timothy’s Dad sent him a Wii for his birthday.  I like the way it makes playing video games a more physical experience!  I’m going to have to try it some time myself–I could use some exercise.

Tim also has a thing for donuts.  When he was very small, we had Dilbert’s Desktop Games on our computer.  He’s the only 3-year-old I’ve ever heard of who pretended to be “Techno-Bill.”  In the game, the characters would chant, “Gotta get more donuts!  Gotta get more donuts!”  I am convinced that phrase is hard-wired deep in Timothy’s brain.

So–in his online searches, he discovered the intriguing donut shop, The Fractured Prune.  It looks like there’s one near a local comic book shop, so we will make a pilgrimage today or tomorrow.  I think he’ll have a fun birthday.

Positive Deviance

Devotional Thoughts, Marriage 2

I’m taking a class this quarter called “Management of Information Services.”  In it, we have to do a group project and present a management tool.  My group chose Positive Deviance.

Positive Deviance focuses on people who act outside the norm–on the positive side.  “Deviance is generally viewed as a bad thing.  But on one end of the curve, we find deviance in the form of excellence, the very behavior we want to promote.”–Robert Quinn, interviewed by Dennis Sparks in “Change: It’s a Matter of Life or Slow Death,” Journal of Staff Development, 22 (4), p. 49.

As I was reading the article above for background material, it struck me that positive deviance applies to marriages!

That morning, I read a quotation that struck me in A New Kind of Normal, by Carole Kent:  Paul and Silas’s discipline of praying and praising not only broke their own chains, but it also broke the chains of every other inmate in the prison.”–quoting Karen Beck, p. 98.

I thought of that passage when I read this in the Quinn interview:  “When we have successfully experienced a deep change, it inspires us to encourage others to undergo a similar experience.  We are all potential change agents.  As we discipline our talents, we deepen our perceptions about what is possible. … We must continually choose between deep change or slow death.”

Continuing:  “So now when people say something can’t be done, I ask for examples of positive deviance.  But people are often uncomfortable with these notions because they suggest that we all have the potential to do things that many claim are impossible.

“To tie all of this together, if we are not growing, we are dying.  And if we are growing and pushing the edges of the system, we will meet great resistance.  And yet it is possible for us to be positive deviants, and positive deviants change the world.”

“When people become empowered, they realize that they had put constraints upon themselves.  Suddenly, they are able to do all kinds of things we previously thought were impossible.”

How does this relate to marriage?

Well, if I look around at the norm in America, a marriage as far gone as mine is surely doomed.

But why should I copy the norm?  Wouldn’t I rather imitate the positive deviants, the people who have succeeded in healing and restoring their marriages, with God’s help?  They have done exactly the thing that seems impossible.

Positive deviance tells us that if you want excellence, find those who are acting with excellence and imitate them.

That’s why I choose to follow the example of the good people at http://www.rejoiceministries.org/, and choose to stand for my marriage, and choose to trust God.  Truly, He can do the impossible.  As more and more of us choose to rise above the norm, this positive deviance can spread.  We can see the power of God to heal.

I know that marital healing after severe hurts is NOT impossible–because people like Bob and Charlyne Steinkamp have shown me what can happen when you put your marriage into God’s hands.  I’d rather imitate people like that.

God Doesn’t Give Us the Silent Treatment

Devotional Thoughts, Sunday's Sermon 0

I’ve been thinking lately that I should not be surprised when God specifically, pointedly, answers a specific question I ask him about what I should do or how I should act.

After all, he says in James 1:  “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all, without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

There’s only one requirement.  We’ve got to believe that the advice God gives is worth following.  “But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt.  For the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That man should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.  He is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”

I’ve gotten a lot of answers to specific questions lately.  It continues to amaze me.  But perhaps I shouldn’t be so surprised.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t still have any questions.  God has told me what He wants me to do over and over again.  Why do I still get doubts and questions?  But that’s the beauty of the fact that God will give wisdom “without finding fault.”  He never lectures like an impatient parent, “Now, I’m only going to say this once!”

Recently, I found myself wondering if I was being “unrealistic” believing that God had told me to stand for my marriage.  With all the hurts behind us, it didn’t seem “realistic,” it didn’t seem “practical” to think that God could possibly restore our relationship.  I asked God, “Am I just having wishful thinking?”  “Am I being unrealistic?”

The very next day, Pastor Ed preached a sermon titled, “The Limitations of Common Sense” (http://www.gatewaychurch.org/content/view/526/85/) which directly and specifically answered my questions.  The example was Jeroboam, King of Israel.  God had promised to give him ten tribes of Israel, and even build him an everlasting dynasty if He would follow the Lord.  But that request did not seem practical….

When God gives you a plan of action coupled with a promise, it’s not about what’s realistic or practical.  It’s about what God can do.

The question is not:  Is this practical?  The question is:  Will I obey God?

Something Silly at Flickr

L2LCPL, Simply Silly 0

This website reminds me of a trip I took with my son on RyanAir.  They had economized by taking out seat pockets–and had the cartoons of emergency procedures on the seat backs instead of on a folder.  My son commented that the guy in the cartoons was having a really bad day.  Sure enough, each guy in each emergency landing was dressed the same, and looked like the same fellow.  A bad day indeed!

I can’t stop laughing when I look at this website:

http://www.coverpop.com/pop/flickr_stickfigures/

 

ALA Conference

ALA, L2LCPL, Libraries 0

Going to the ALA Annual Conference in Washington, DC was a wonderful experience!

I was especially thrilled by the chance to attend the Newbery/Caldecott/Wilder Award Banquet.  I loved this year’s Newbery winner, The Higher Power of Lucky, by Susan Patron, and it’s no surprise that Susan Patron is a fantastic speaker!  After all, she’s a wonderful writer, and she wrote her own speech.  It was funny, insightful–and I was thrilled to hear it in person.

The Caldecott speech by David Wiesner was also excellent.  And it was a treat to see the video tribute to James Marshall for the Laura Ingalls Wilder Award.

In all, some of the high points of the conference were meeting authors–and getting advance review copies of their books.  Two ARC’s I’m especially excited about are Shannon Hale’s and Jerry Spinelli’s sequel to Stargirl, titled, Love, Stargirl.

The Printz Award Meeting and Reception was another highlight.  Unlike the Newbery Award, all of the honorees gave speeches, not just the big winner.  I thought the winner, Gene Luen Yang for American-Born Chinese, was absolutely brilliant.  And I’ve been a huge M. T. Anderson fan ever since I read Feed.  (Although I bought the book for my son for Christmas last year, I have not read his latest book, for which he won a Printz Honor.  But I will!)  I think his sense of humor is brilliant, and his insight into today’s culture is hard-hitting–both those things were clearly evident again in his speech.

I got to meet both of those authors at the YA Author Breakfast, and I will post pictures.  That breakfast was a whole lot of fun.  They said to “think speed dating,” and had the authors spending 10 minutes at each big round table.  It would have been nice if there were either more authors or fewer tables, but it was still a lot of fun.

More author talks were also highlights.  I guess I’m a writer at heart, and hearing other writers talk about their craft inspires me.  I’m also a new, idealistic library science student, very excited about finishing my degree this year and beginning a career as a librarian, with the glorious job of connecting people and books.

Other wonderful author talks were by Lois Lowry at the Margaret Edwards Luncheon, and Judy Blume.  So inspiring!

One place I didn’t expect to see authors was at the oh-so-fun Book Cart Drill Team Championships.  The hosts were Jon Scieszka and Mo Willems!  They are every bit as funny as the books they write, and I was thrilled to have front row seats to see them, even if the Book Cart Drill Teams hadn’t been so much fun.

Yes, I went to some workshops, too.  I enjoyed the one called “What’s the Big Idea?” about using story times to teach early math and science concepts.  It ties in well with the training we already received about early literacy.  There are many playful things you can do with kids that will teach them as well as providing a bonding experience.

But especially fun was browsing the booths and collecting ARC’s or buying inexpensive copies of books.  Now I have my old problem in full swing:  So many books, so little time!  I got smart after the first day, and brought a rolling bag to carry my loot.  I filled it each day!  Yikes!  Now there are some fantastic books sitting in my house waiting to be read!

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