Rain and Lessons in Contentment

I fully believe that Joy is a choice.  I am currently reading several books that tell me it is not my circumstances that determine my happiness, but the story I tell myself about those circumstances.  I have heard sermons about contentment.  I have lectured at length to my children that complaining will only make them unhappy.  I believe this.

In the last couple days, I got a delightful three-part reminder.

It began on Wednesday morning.  I was doing a quick run to the grocery store.  We had expected an ice storm, but instead we got nasty, cold, heavy, near-freezing rain.

I do not like rain in the winter.  I tend to think how much I would prefer snow.  Rain in winter is almost as cold as snow, but not as pretty, and not as fun.  It soaks into your clothes much more quickly, and doesn’t brighten a dark day like snow does.

As I came out of the grocery store, the thought crossed my mind that it was a shame I had to make a grocery run today.  The thought lingered long enough for me to feel guilty about the negativity.  But I was justified!  After all, loading groceries into the car in the pouring, cold rain is not a fun thing to do.  Ask anyone!

No sooner had that thought crossed my mind than I looked up and saw a mother and son walking toward the store.  The mother had an umbrella, but the little boy, about three years old, wasn’t paying any attention to staying under it.  He was positively dancing with joy at being out in the rain.  His shiny yellow boots splashed the pavement with zest, and you could instantly see how excited he was about this wondrous chance to go shopping in the rain!

Kind of put things in perspective for me!

The next day, a new book by Mo Willems, Are You Ready to Play Outside? came to the library.

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Piggie is so excited about playing outside with Gerald!  They will run!  They will skip!  They will jump!  NOTHING will stop them!

Then it begins to rain.

It pours.  Piggie is NOT a happy pig.

Gerald, an elephant, first tries shielding Piggie with his ear, but it is still raining.  Piggie doesn’t see how anyone could possibly play outside with all this rain.

Then they see two worms come out, exuberantly happy, splishing and splashing in the rain.

They decide to try it.  They run!  They skip!  They jump! 

Piggie decides he loves rain!  He hopes it rains all day!

Then it stops. 

Piggie is not a happy pig.

Fortunately, Piggie has an elephant for a friend, who has a solution.

This book conveys its message far more effectively than any sermon, lecture, or nonfiction book.  Part of the effectiveness is Mo Willems’ brilliant illustrations.  With simple cartoon drawings he makes you feel his characters’ emotions.  I never imagined that worms could look so joyful!  Elephant and Piggie turning somersaults and kicking up their heels in the rain proclaim complete exuberance.  You don’t just read about Piggie’s frustration turned to joy.  You experience it!

Last night, I brought the book home and showed it to my son.  I told him about seeing the little boy in the rain.  Gerald and Piggie dancing in the rain reminded me very much of that little boy in his yellow boots.

I think of Are You Ready to Play Outside? as a metaphor for life itself.  After all, I reflected, at this time of my life, I am single, not by my own choice.  I can spend my time moping about how I wish it would stop “raining” or I can skip and jump and dance in the rain.

Isn’t it true that people like Piggie who are unhappy in the rain tend to be the exact same people who are unhappy when it stops?

Later, I was e-mailing friends about the Inaugural Parade, in which my husband will be marching.  Even though he left me and has told me he wants nothing to do with me, I find myself feeling proud and excited that he’s going to take part in this historic event.  Someone sent me a link to an inaugural website, and from there I went to an Air Force page and found a story about the Air Force Band.  Apparently, they are supplementing the main DC band with musicians from several field bands for one big 99-member band for the parade, which is why my husband and several other Air Force musicians I know all get to participate.

What I didn’t realize is that they are already in the DC area.  My son had mentioned that his Dad was going to be practicing 8 days for the parade, but I didn’t realize it had already begun.  In fact, according to the article, the whole group began practicing this past Wednesday — in the pouring, cold, nasty, near-freezing rain.

I would be ashamed to report that this simple fact gave me a certain satisfaction.  I would be ashamed to say that the very nasty, cold, and unpleasant aspects of that rain now filled me with a certain unreasonable delight.

So I will simply say this.  The next time I am caught in a cold and nasty downpour, I will reflect that it could be worse.  I could have to practice marching in it.

The Street of the Lifted Lorax

This summer at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure, I especially enjoyed Seussville, and there I especially enjoyed The Street of the Lifted Lorax. 

The Lorax was one of Josh’s favorite bedtime books.  So much so, that he had it memorized and could recite long parts of it in his adorable one-year-old voice.  Timothy also loved it as a child.  Steve was the one who bought the book, and I will always remember his voice reading it and then Josh’s baby voice chiming in.

As a children’s librarian, it seems especially appropriate to celebrate The Lorax with this sequence of pictures:

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They had a plaque quoting from the beginning of the book:

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Here’s the devastation left behind after the Thneed factory ran out of truffula trees:

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“On the end of a rope he lets down a tin pail and you have to toss in fifteen cents and a nail and the shell of a great-great-great-grandfather snail.”

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“Then he grunts, ‘I will call you by Whisper-ma-Phone, for the secrets I tell are for your ears alone.'”

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SLUPP!  Down slupps the Whisper-ma-Phone to your ear and the old Once-ler’s whispers are not very clear, since they have to come down through a snergelly hose, and he sounds as if he had smallish bees up his nose.

” ‘Now I’ll tell you,’ he says, with his teeth sounding gray, ‘how the Lorax got lifted and taken away…'”

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They tried to put a more positive spin on it, but the stump below is supposed to say UNLESS:

“UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It’s not.

“SO . . .  Catch!” says the Once-ler.  He lets something fall.  “It’s a Truffula Seed.  It’s the last one of all!  You’re in charge of the last of the Truffula Seeds.  And Truffula Trees are what everyone needs.  Plant a new Truffula.  Treat it with care.  Give it clean water.  And feed it fresh air.  Grow a forest.  Protect it from axes that hack.  Then the Lorax and all of his friends may come back.”

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Christmas Letter 2008

Merry Christmas!  I don’t have the physical addresses of all my online friends, so I’ll post a blog version of my Christmas letter.  First, my two fine sons smiling down on us:

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2008 has been an eventful year for our family.  Last December, I finished my Master’s in Library and Information Science.  I got to march in graduation on my birthday in June, exactly 21 years from the day I marched for my Master’s in Math.

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By February, I was a full-time Children’s Librarian (okay, “Youth Services Manager”) at Herndon Fortnightly Library — the very closest public library to my home.

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Timothy is 14, and a Freshman in high school.  His big event of the year was being accepted to the local magnet high school, Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology.  TJ was rated the Number One high school in the nation by US News & World Report.  It’s an amazing school, and we are so blessed that Tim gets to go there.  It’s a public school, so it’s free, and they even provide bus transportation.  His favorite class for first semester is Film Study, perhaps influenced by his brother.

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Josh, at 20 years old, finished his Bachelor’s degree in Film from Full Sail University in Orlando, Florida.  We got to go see him graduate and visited some amusement parks while we were at it.  Now Josh is out in Los Angeles, staying with my parents, and looking for jobs in the film industry.  So far, he loves LA, particularly all the independent theaters.  Kind of funny — he’s near his birthplace (Anaheim), and I’m near mine (Washington, DC).  The circle of life?

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I spent the year facing the “reality” that, like it or not, I’d be divorced this year.  About a week before our first court date in November, our lawyers finally reached an agreement.  A few days later, I learned that Steve had a dispute with his lawyer, would not sign the agreement, and was dropping the case!  (For now, anyway.)

So, we are still married.  And I have no idea what God is up to in our lives.  This is what I do know:

— God is good, and God is faithful.  He is filling my life with things to be joyful about.

— Being a “career woman” is fun!  I really do love being a children’s librarian.

— I love connecting people and books.  My website of book reviews, http://www.sonderbooks.com/, is going strong.

— I’m writing again!  And that also feels wonderful.  I have a book out there being considered by a publisher.

— I am part of a loving, caring community at Gateway Community Church.  New and old friends there have been my lifeline.

— Northern Virginia is beautiful!  I’m enjoying walking in the woods.  I still love taking pictures.

I’m afraid I spend a lot of time online!  I’ve gotten a real kick out of connecting with friends from all the different phases of my life via Facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753450664&ref=profile

I’m enjoying posting on three blogs:

This one:  www.sonderbooks.com/sonderjourneys  A standard blog, musing about life.

www.sonderbooks.com/sonderquotes Quotes from all the great books I’m reading and things I’m learning.

www.sonderbooks.com/sonderblessings A little way to count my blessings and to remember to be joyful.

May you all have a blessed Christmas!

Wishing you much joy,

Sondy Eklund

Columbus Day Interlude

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For Columbus Day weekend, my big goal was to spend lots of time at my computer and catch up on posting book reviews on my website.  I had been writing reviews and posting them on the blog part of the site, but had more than 40 reviews which I had never transferred over to the main site, complete with links and pictures of the cover.

It was going great.  It’s Monday, and I only have two more sections to update — Children’s Fiction, and Picture Books, about 16 reviews.  I didn’t want to stop, but I had to do the grocery shopping.

That’s when I noticed what a glorious day it is!  The temperature is 75, a little on the warm side.  Most of the leaves are still green, but there are so many splashes of color!  I wouldn’t have thought they would change in such warm weather, and indeed not many leaves are falling just yet, but there is so much color in the treetops.  The sun is shining brightly, so the colors shine against the brilliant blue sky.

I decided to take a break from computer work and go for a walk over the bridge to Frying Pan Park and “our” waterfall.  It turns out there is a whole network of trails on the other side of the waterfall.  The creek is low, so it is easy to cross.

My favorites are the bright red vines that twine around the tree trunks and outline the tree branches, as in my “cover” picture above.

I was flooded with a sense of well-being as I went on my little less-than-an-hour walk.  (I’ve already spent more time uploading the pictures than I did on the walk!  But it was worth it.)  It was odd seeing so much fall color when the weather was warm, almost hot.  But so beautiful.  The woods seem very much alive still, yet so brilliantly colored.

I saw other people at the waterfall, but nowhere else along the path.  I am definitely going to have to make more of a habit of walking in the woods.

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After the narrow walking trails, I got to some horse trails, that lead out of the woods to the barn at Frying Pan Park.  Along the trails, there were jumps set up.  When I saw this “room” with a roof of colored branches and the horse jumps, I was transported back to my girlhood reading horse books.  How easy to imagine a girl keeping her horse at Frying Pan Farm and teaching him to become a champion jumper, in the woods, destined for greatness!

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Below is one of the trees stretching over the horse jumps:

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It ended up being such a lovely interlude!  I do so love Autumn!  Having grown up in Southern California, it still seems such a wonderful miracle.

Life is good!

An Evening Walk

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It was a lovely summer evening after a full day of work.  I asked my son to take a walk with me, and he agreed!  There’s a little creek and waterfall at an abandoned corner about a five minutes’ walk from our home.  It’s nice to walk over and just hear the water above the sound of cars rushing past.  There is a bridge across the busy street, so we don’t have to deal with traffic and can get a little lull of time in the woods.  I don’t go there nearly often enough.

I’m still reviewing my summer from the pictures I took.  This was early in the summer.  One thing I reflect about it was that I sure enjoy my son’s company.  It’s just the two of us now, but I am so thankful that he is such good company.

Longwood Gardens

Okay, I’m slowly telling the story of my Summer Vacation.  The day after my birthday and graduation, I had breakfast with my classmates and fellow graduates, and then drove back to Virginia.  Along the way, I stopped at Longwood Gardens and spent a few hours there.

Years before, when Josh was a toddler, we visited Longwood Gardens with my parents-in-law and met some family friends who lived in Pennsylvania.  (We lived in New Jersey at the time.)  I believe that was when I met Lorinda, who often leaves comments on this blog.

It was funny, because I barely remembered that trip — until I went inside the large greenhouse and peeked at the Children’s Garden.  Then I remembered that on that long-ago visit, it rained, so we spent most of our time inside the greenhouse.  I also got a weird sense of deja vu when I watched the small dancing fountains going to a recording of Stars & Stripes Forever, because my father-in-law had videotaped the entire performance, and it was identical, after all those years!

Anyway, my trip this June was a totally different experience.  That trip was a large gathering, planned by my mother-in-law, and with a toddler in tow.  This trip was a solitary ramble in a beautiful place on a gorgeous day.  I was thinking about graduation and new beginnings and all the hope my future holds.  I did a lot of praying and thinking about the future, and a lot of simply enjoying the beauty.

The water gardens were beautiful to listen to as well as to see.  There was a bit of forest I was able to hike through.  I sat on a bench and simply enjoyed the woods.  It was very nice to have nobody tired of me taking pictures or bored with simply looking.

It was funny — the day was Father’s Day, and there simply weren’t too many families that celebrated Father’s Day by going to gardens!  Those that were there were on a very different, child-centered agenda, from what I was doing.  It felt wonderful to ramble through a safe, slightly wild, gorgeous place and reflect on how blessed I am.

I’ll post the full album on Facebook, but include some of the best pictures here:

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A New Day

Well, today I had some things cast up to me.  Some things I have apologized for about a dozen times, with tears, but the person wronged has not been willing to forgive me, and indeed has cast the worst possible interpretation on the things I said.

But you know what?  God forgives me!  And I honestly can say that, though it hurts to have someone I love so angry with me, God is giving me forgiveness — and freedom — about it.

Then tonight, I was listening to The Best of Avalon, and their song, “A New Day,” so beautifully sums up how I feel.

Forgiveness feels GOOD — both receiving it from God for yourself and for others.

Here’s a link to “A New Day” with lyrics:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAKfTRlnA0I&feature=related

 

My Summer Vacation

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Summer vacation is drawing to a close, and ever since June, I’ve been meaning to write about my travels, even though they were much less than when I lived in Europe.

So, better late than never!  The summer began with my birthday trip to my MLIS graduation.  In many ways, that symbolized my new life, my new beginnings.

It seems paradoxical, because I am going through the hardest thing I’ve ever faced — divorce.  Yet, this summer my life has been characterized by more joy and peace than I have experienced in years.  Truly, God is being good to me.

Though I miss my husband, and still hope and pray that our marriage will be restored (and believe that God has personally promised me that it will), yet as they say at http://www.rejoiceministries.org/, God is being “my husband for this season,” and He is taking wonderfully good care of me.

For the first time in my adult life, my primary identity is not being a wife.  And it feels good!  Graduation symbolized that, as getting my MLIS degree enabled me to get this fantastic job.  I am a Children’s Librarian!  And I love it!

I drove up to Philadelphia on the morning of my birthday, June 14.  I didn’t find my classmates until we were robing and getting in line, but then I did find them, and it was lovely to meet people I had chatted with and done projects with and learned with.  And all of us celebrating the completion of our degrees.  We got to march through together and sit together, and had a long brunch together the next morning.

IMG_1722.JPG  The Drexel Dragon breathing “smoke”!

IMG_1719.JPG  Hagerty Library, where I virtually hung out.

Handshake.jpg  The handshake!

Walking.jpg  A happy moment!

IMG_1738.JPG  Here we are!  Graduates!

Definitely a memorable birthday, to celebrate my new life as a Children’s Librarian!

So it was a propitious start to my Summer Vacation.

On the way home, I had a wonderful interlude at Longwood Gardens….

More Big Picture/Little Picture

Today’s sermon was titled “Keeping Perspective.”  It was about exactly what I’ve been thinking so much about lately:  The big picture and the little picture.

Of course it got me reflecting some more.  I think there will always be a tension between the big picture and the little picture.  We can believe that God is working, that God is surely working all things together for good.  But in the little picture, bad things do happen.  And they hurt.

The Psalms are full of wrestling with this tension.  Here’s a common pattern to so many psalms:

Help, Lord!

Things are awful!

Answer me quickly!

I remember that You came through for me before.

Surely You will come through for me again!

God rocks!

I’m going to conquer!

Isn’t God AWESOME?!?

Sometimes the way we get through our pain in the little picture is to cry out to God.  After we express our pain, we can remind ourselves that we KNOW God is going to come through for us.

Pastor Ed mentioned that the best way to keep perspective is not positive thinking, but faith.  Hebrews 11 has so many models of faith.  Even though “they did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance.”

Maybe that’s the challenge:  Seeing what God is doing, and welcoming it, even from a distance.  Believing that God is Real, and that it is Worth It to follow Him, however foolish it may look in the short term  (Hebrews 11:6).

Imagine that you’ve bought your child something they’ve been longing for.  It’s wrapped up and hidden away for his birthday, or maybe sitting under the Christmas tree.  Then you go to a store together and see one, and he dissolves into tears because you won’t buy it.  You would be sad with your son because of his pain, but you would know he’ll get a lot more joy if he waits for Christmas.

Last year, God gave me some verses in Jeremiah 31, beginning with: 

“Restrain your voice from weeping

and your eyes from tears,

for your work will be rewarded,”

declares the Lord.

“They will return from the land of the enemy.

So there is hope for your future,”

declares the Lord.

“Your children will return to their own land.”

Now here God is telling us to stop crying, but I know from other passages that He does have compassion for our pain!  So he’s not the Mean Dad snapping, “Stop crying!” but the one saying, “There, there!  Don’t worry, Honey, I have this problem totally under control.  Everything’s going to be Okay.  Better, everything’s going to be Beautiful.”

If we can truly believe the big picture, even our emotions can start to reflect that.  Mind you, getting them there may take a wrestling process such as in the Psalms.  But that Big Picture thinking can help us refrain from crying as we come more fully to believe that, truly, God “exists, and He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.”  It is worth it to follow God.

I’ve also been thinking lately that I can use my love for fairy tales to reinforce my big picture thinking.  Today Pastor Ed said that as Christians, “We believe in Happy Endings.”  How true.  If we follow God, we can be certain that, whatever happens, the ending will be, “And they lived happily ever after.”

Isn’t God AWESOME?!?

“Answer Me Quickly!”

Today’s verse from the Psalms was Psalm 143:7 —

Answer me quickly, O Lord;

my spirit fails.

Do not hide your face from me

or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

At first, I was a little taken aback.  Do we dare pray to God, “Answer me quickly”?  What about all I said in the “Long-Term Visions” posting?  What about all those verses about waiting on the Lord?

But look at the reason the Psalmist asks this — “My spirit fails.”  We humans do have trouble with long-term visions, and long-term trials.  Our spirits grow faint.

What comforted me about this is that God knows that we grow weary.  He lets us ask him to hurry up.  He knows that we are human.  He knows that long-term difficulties are hard on us.

And the verse says nothing about how God will answer.  In my own life, there have been several times when God answered my desperate cry quickly — not with a resolution of the problem, but still with an answer.  Notably, when I asked him to please end this NOW, he began giving me verse after verse after verse that said, “Wait on the Lord.”

The psalmist also says, “Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.”  This says to me, when my spirit is failing, that’s when I’m utterly desperate for God.  If I still have Him, I can make it through.

And He will not hide His face when I am desperate for him.

In many ways, this Psalm tells the story of my marriage falling apart:

Verse 1– I asked God to please come to my relief.  I was in trouble and desperately needed help.

Verse 2 — I felt horribly guilty for my part in hurting my marriage.  But took such comfort that God does not remember our sins forever, that God forgives a repentant heart.

Verses 3 and 4 — I felt horribly depressed and crushed.  Things got worse.  I felt like I might as well be dead.

Verse 5 — I remembered all God had done for me in the past.  I knew I could trust Him now.

Verse 6 — I spread out my hands to Him for help.  My prayer times took on a whole new desperation.

The Psalm goes on, with the verse I began with.  This trial is getting old — please help quickly, Lord!  My spirit is failing.

Verse 8 is a wonderful answer:

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

for I have put my hope in you.

Show me the way I should go,

for to you I lift up my soul.

Notice it’s not necessarily a solution to all his problems — the Psalmist is just asking for “word of your unfailing love,” a reminder that God’s love never, ever fails.  Just something to lift that failing spirit.

Also direction.  Encourage me, and show me what step I should take today.

The last verses of the Psalm ask for deliverance (for I hide myself in You) and guidance and ultimate victory.

From several different sources and in several different ways, people have been mentioning to me lately that these long-term trials are all about the big picture.  Ultimately, what is God doing here?  I can be sure that this story will ultimately be about His amazing and unfailing love.