Category: Project 52

It’s time for Project 52, Week 40!

40 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 40 — June 14, 2004, to June 14, 2005. I’m going to try to cover it in one post. But now the story stops being about the cool places we got to see in Europe and starts to be about a marriage falling apart.

This is going to be tricky to write about. I’m going to tell my story, and try not to speculate about what Steve was thinking or feeling. I did find out much later that I was being told lies — so I will try to straighten some of that out as I go.

But I’ll be working more out of my journals than off of pictures, I think.

Anyway, the year started with another happy family summer. There’s some bragging on that first page of my journal. We got Josh’s SAT scores (They’d taken the test as a Sophomore. They were revising the test that summer to then include essays.), and Josh got a perfect Verbal score of 800 and a 770 on the Math! Wow!

Josh also got their best grades yet in high school — with A+’s on all the Finals that were listed separately. Timothy got straight As in 4th grade and made Ultimate Honor Roll for straight As every quarter.

Steve started out the summer with a trip with the USAFE Band to Bulgaria, so I took Josh to the airport for one last summer at Dublin City University’s Centre for Talented Youth. Josh just called it Nerd Camp.

After we took Josh to the airport, Timmy and I went to the Autobahnfest happening on the brand new Autobahn near us. It was to be completed that October, when our lives would get simpler. It was connecting the Autobahn to Frankfurt to the Autobahn that went through Kaiserslautern (and to Ramstein AFB). Looking back, I hadn’t remembered that we only got to drive on that thing for less than two years. We got used to it quickly!

Let’s see, what was the normal for our lives at this time?

I was very focused on trying to become a writer. I was sending my first children’s novel off to publishers, and was working hard — trying for an hour a day — on my second children’s novel. I’d started a writer’s critique group at Sembach Library that met once a month after hours, and was working through that second novel with them. I was thinking about, when we finally had to leave Germany in August 2006 (We wouldn’t be able to extend past ten years.) — of not looking for a new job, but really focusing on becoming a writer.

I still loved my half-time job at the base library. I had a knitting buddy from church who I met with weekly. (Oh, but I turn the page on my journal — and that was when Leah moved away.) And I was still writing Sonderbooks — writing reviews of every book I read — and I read a lot of books.

I was still getting lots of headaches. I tried a new preventative that summer, Neurontin. It seemed to help a little bit.

Steve was about to promote to Master Sergeant. He was very busy with the band. He was traveling about a third of each month, with lots of short trips.

Here’s what I wrote about the fourth of July weekend:

This year, the Fourth of July weekend was a nice one for me.

It was just Timmy and me. Josh was in Ireland. Steve was in Israel.

Timothy is a nice little companion these days. We play games with each other. He still likes to tell me all he’s thinking and feeling. It’s a privilege, even if I do tend to tune out when it’s about video games and comic books. Timothy’s a nice person to be with.

Leah moved away this week, and so did Wendy. I need some new friends. But the Writing Group met Wednesday, and I think maybe Marta and Suzanne will be that for me.

Steve’s trip to Israel was very exciting. He played at a party at the Ambassador’s Residence with incredibly high security. He had to play his tuba to prove it wasn’t concealing a bomb. He had his picture taken with Ariel Sharon and Benjamin Netanyahu.

He also promoted to MSgt on this trip, so he had a room to himself. In Tel Aviv, he had a corner room with two balconies overlooking the beach. Sunday night, we talked as he was on a cell phone walking along the beach. I could hear gentle waves in the background. It was almost like being there with him.

They were given a tour of Old City Jerusalem. He’s walked where Jesus walked. They also saw Roman ruins at Cesaria.

Steve and I seem in harmony these days. That’s such a blessing.

On Friday, Timothy got invited to go to Holiday Park with Mikey, his best friend, on Monday. So he was looking forward to that, and I looked forward to a day all to myself in the middle of the summer. What luxury!

On Sunday, we went to church and the church potluck. After that, we played games together, but we didn’t bother braving the crowds at Ramstein to see fireworks. Instead I let Timothy stay up until sunset (10:00), and we played games together. It was a nice, relaxing day.

I remember that call from Steve on the beach in Israel meant a whole lot to me. He wanted me there, and shared it with me.

(Yes, okay, I’m writing all this to show how clueless I was that my husband wasn’t happy with me.)

Josh got back from Ireland on July 9. I’d wanted to do another big vacation, but we decided we couldn’t afford it, so instead we planned two nights in the Czech Republic, staying in Mělnik, a town just outside Prague.

[Tip for folks traveling in Europe: If you stay in a village or town outside a big city, the cost will be much lower, and the setting will be much more beautiful. Drive or take a train into the city during the day. This was a plan I used all over Europe and was never unhappy with it.]

We had our evenings in a spacious suite in Mělnik, and did sight-seeing in Prague during the day. Prague is 6 hours straight east of Sembach, where we lived. (We were exactly in between Paris and Prague. Paris was 6 hours west of us.)

I do remember there was some tension between Steve and me in Mělnik, but I don’t remember what it was about. I also remember, though, that I really loved Prague.

The first few photos are from Mělnik.

I like the way the Vltava River, which also runs through Prague, was clearly labelled.

In Prague, they were having a “Cow Parade”! Various artists had painted cow statues, with three basic poses. They were all over the city. It was something new to focus on, and increased our kids’ interest in roaming over the city. Timmy got a Cow Parade t-shirt, and Josh got one that said, “Make cows not war.”

The Charles Bridge is so beautiful.

Here’s my favorite cow statue!

On the way back home, we stopped in Plzen, where Steve had performed twice with the USAFE Band.

And on July 29, Timmy turned TEN years old! I was trying to stop calling him Timmy. My transitional name was Timothy, but eventually, I was able to call him Tim. It really varies in my journals.

We went to Europa Park for his birthday and brought along his friend Mikey, but it looks like I didn’t bring my camera.

This little entry in my journal makes me laugh, because I still have this problem:

I’m trying to bring back most of my library books — except the ones I will read in the next few weeks. Wouldn’t it be better to trust that I will always have something good to read, instead of feeling that I have to hoard them? It’s easy to say, but not easy to do. Think how nice it would be to even run out of library books sometimes and read my own books?

Some time that summer, after a full day working at the library (It looks like most Fridays that summer, I worked 8 to 5 at the library.), Steve wanted to go to not one but two band parties. One was at our friends the Kings’ house. The wife worked with me and the husband worked with Steve, and the kids were two boys between our kids’ ages. I might have gone to that, but Steve also wanted to go to a birthday party for Amy’s sister who was visiting. I remember I asked, “Who’s Amy?” She was a new person in the band that summer, and she had two Dalmatians. Steve wanted Timmy to meet the dogs.

I wasn’t interested in going to a birthday party for someone I didn’t know and was way too tired for two parties, so Josh and I stayed home and Steve took Timmy to the party, and I thought everyone was happy.

And my Dad came to visit! He went to a conference in St. Petersburg for people who don’t agree with Einstein, and he stayed with us before and after. I say in my journal, “It’s fun to ask him about his theory and watch his eyes light up!”

We took him to the Medieval Fest in Kaiserslautern on Friday the 13th in August.

Jade learned to throw an axe!

And we took him to Trier on the 14th.

They were having a Roman Fest!

After that, Dad went to St. Petersburg, and Steve went to France with the Band.

Oh dear. On August 16, I see this in my Quiet Time journal (writing out prayers):

Father, I feel so sad, sad, sad.

Steve and I had a big fight yesterday. I feel like every fight tears our marriage further apart, and making up barely sews a few threads back together.

I’m scared now — scared that all those awful things he said are what Steve really thinks of me. I’m scared that any time that Steve acts distant, that’s because he’s hiding a lot of anger.

Lord, it’s hard to forgive someone who doesn’t believe he’s done anything wrong.

Lord, please help keep our feet from stumbling. I know Steve doesn’t want to divorce me. I don’t want to divorce him either. He’s brought so much good into my life. I know he loves me, in his own way.

Sometimes I wish he thought more highly of me. I wish I felt like he wanted me to succeed, like he was excited about Sonderbooks and about my writing. Father, help me to know what to say when we talk on the phone tonight.

There’s no more about that. When Steve and Dad got back from their trips, we took Dad to the Rhine River on the way back from the airport.

We had a picnic by the river!

Waiting for a boat over to Burg Pfalzgrafenstein.

And then we went to Burg Lahneck, where we had dinner at the castle restaurant.

After my Dad went back home, we finished off the summer with a family day trip to Köln and the Schokoladen Museum there.

Then Timothy started 5th grade and Josh started 11th grade. There’s a happy note in my Quiet Time journal.

Lord, thank you so much for your beautiful answer to prayer yesterday. I had been praying and I had asked others to pray that Timothy would make new friends this year. I figured it would take time. Timothy’s first words when he walked through the door were: “I made a new friend!” And he went on to excitedly tell me about this friend!

(Tim, my other journal says the friend was Michael Dropps. I think Mikey may have moved away that summer?)

I’ve also got a note that lists Josh’s classes. They had a tough schedule that year!

1) AP English Language; 2) AP Computer Science; 3) AP Chemistry; 4) CISCO Networking; 5) AP Art History; 6) AP German Language; and 7) AP Calculus BC.

On September 24, there was a going-away dinner for Ellen, a friend of Steve’s in the Band. (The kids stayed home.) As we got out of the car, Steve told me, “There’s someone I’ve been wanting you to meet.” It was that same Amy who had the two Dalmatians. We talked with her at the dinner. She was a fan of Pride and Prejudice and I don’t know if that’s when I promised to loan her my copy of the Colin Firth movie, but I did that soon after. Also Steve asked later to borrow for her the book he’d given me of Pride and Prejudice from Mr. Darcy’s perspective. (Oh look, my calendar says I started reading it the day after the dinner for Ellen.) So anyway, at that point, Steve still wanted me to meet his friends.

And that was the week I started singing in the German-American Choir! It met on Tuesday nights. I went with some other folks from Sembach Bible Church, including the pastor. It was a lot of fun — a few more Germans than Americans, but they mostly gave instructions in English. It was a good way to get better at pronouncing German and a nice weekly outing. I really loved singing in a choir again.

I do remember that when I told Steve that our pastor wouldn’t ride in a car — even to choir practice with just one woman, Steve said it seemed like he didn’t trust Doris (the woman in question that time). I was proud that I didn’t have to worry about Steve spending time with his female friends. Sigh.

Oh dear, September 15, another worrisome quiet time journal entry. (These are interspersed with happy and thankful ones, by the way.)

Lord, thank you that You have brought me through troubles before and You will again.

Father, help my marriage. Steve’s gotten horribly angry with me for little things lately, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. I’m afraid our marriage may split over these stupid little things.

Father, I know that Steve loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. I also know that he’s stressed out lately. He doesn’t like his job. His job is on its way to getting more stressful.

Lord, help our love to grow….

Father, I am incredibly lucky to have such a husband. Help me to keep him, and help us to be happy together.

Hmmm. The very next entry (September 17) says:

Lord, thank You that Steve went off to Spain with us in harmony and in love.

These problems would surface, but I’d think we’d get them smoothed out….

On September 25, my Quiet Time was about Psalm 73:25, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.” I wrote:

It’s been 22 years since I last memorized this psalm. It meant so much to me then. I thought I would never find someone who truly loved me. But I had God, caring for me and directing my life.

Father, Thank You for bringing Steve into my life. Thank You that he is faithful and I know I can count on him. Thank You for Your faithful love that brought me his faithful love.

Thank You, Lord, for expanding my borders and blessing me indeed.

When I read Let Your Life Speak, I realized that Sonderbooks is one thing I did not because anybody thought I should, but because I wanted to. And that makes it especially meaningful. Writing is another thing that comes from a calling within. Some day, I will be published. Even now, an editor is considering Unicorn Wings, and maybe she sees potential.

Then, on Columbus Day weekend, we spent a night in France and went back to Monkey Mountain!

We had first gone to Monkey Mountain when Timmy was about 3 years old (and he threw a fit for a Monkey cookie.) You walk among the baboons and they take popcorn from your hands. We all really enjoyed going back!

The next day in Colmar, we visited the Musée d’Unterlinden.

And on the way back, we stopped at the Cascade and Chateaux du Nideck, our Castle #163.

The castle was just above the waterfall.

Okay, in October was about the time that the Band had been letting people off early when they were in town to do “Physical Training.” One of the earlier days, Steve had gone for a jog in the Sembach woods. I tried going with him, but we concluded that I was too slow. He wasn’t getting enough exercise. But long about October, he started walking dogs with this friend Amy. He still liked her Dalmatians. Well, I didn’t like the sound of that.

On October 15, I wrote:

Yesterday I felt a little sad and lonely when Steve didn’t show up at lunchtime because he was out with Band friends. I also feel left out when he goes walking with another friend. I would love to walk in the woods with Steve. In fact, that’s one of my favorite things on earth.

On the other hand, I don’t want to criticize Steve and I don’t want to crowd him. If I tell him I miss him, I don’t want him to feel controlled.

Thank You, Father, that Steve loves me.

Well, I did speak up, because that next week, on the 20th, Steve took me along to walk Amy’s dogs with her. Timothy came along, too. It was fabulous. The woods were at the height of their color in brilliant oranges and yellows and redt s. Steve really enjoyed the dogs, and Timmy did, too.

But what struck me was that it was super romantic walking in the woods with Steve. Watching him play with the dogs in the beautiful woods. I wasn’t worried for a second about Steve falling for Amy. But if they kept walking dogs together, I didn’t see how Amy could possibly keep from falling for Steve. She was very tall, so she was sure to be attracted to my even taller husband. I decided to talk with him about it.

The two of us went for a walk in the woods on the Donnersberg the following Saturday, and I did talk about it. I told Steve exactly that — that I thought Amy would fall for him if they continued to walk in the woods. I asked if he would please bring me along.

Steve sounded agreeable. He suggested twice a week? I thought that seemed like an awful lot. Well, the next week Steve had a trip to Belgium. And then it didn’t come up. I thought he’d given up the idea.

And here’s where what really happened began diverging from what I thought was happening. Steve decided to continue doing things with Amy, but not to tell me about it. When he didn’t talk about walking dogs together, I thought it was just as well. It was easy for him to hide it from me, since he was so busy with work now that he was Director of Operations.

But I had something exciting and wrote about it on that same page:

The big excitement of this week was the news of another SCBWI conference in Paris at the Abbaye de Royaumont. This one is limited to 35 people, and it’s designed for “advanced” or published writers. It’s taking place November 4-7, 2005, a Friday through Monday. It’s designed as a working retreat, with single rooms. The cost is $740 for three nights and three days worth of meals.

The part that truly amazed me was that Steve said right away that he could pay for it — If we postponed the ski trip we’d been talking about for Thanksgiving until January or February. So I’ve already sent in my registration! I’m so amazed and jazzed, it immediately gave me the energy to tackle the big change in my book that I’d been putting off until then.

Best of all — It looks like my three e-mail writing buddies — Erin, Vicki, and Kristin, will be able to go as well. Erin needs to do some school visits, and Kristin needs to sell a manuscript. But it looks hopeful that we can have a grand reunion.

I met those three ladies at the Abbaye de Royaumont at the SCBWI Conference in 1999. Vicki was my roommate. Erin read a fantastic piece about her character and had a great meal and discussion with Vicki. Kristin and I shared in a fantastic lunch discussion with editors Steven Roxborough and Arthur Levine. Since then, they’ve shared my hopes and dreams about writing. They’ve given me great advice on my work, and they’ve listened to my suggestions about their work. I’ve watched all three of them have books accepted for publication and Kristin and Erin get published, and I’ve been thrilled with their success as if it were my own. They mean so much to me. In many ways, their success makes me believe that it will soon happen to me, too.

When I went to that 1999 conference, I prayed that I would make friends who were writers, in a similar place to me. How wonderfully God answered that prayer! Now I know so well that I am not alone in my dream of writing for children, and that dream truly can come true.

Truth check: Steve later suggested that we couldn’t afford our whole family taking a ski trip, so he should just go on the trip that was moved to February. And that was the trip when he began his affair with Amy. The gift of the Paris conference definitely distracted me.

Timothy was Wolverine for Halloween.

The day after trick-or-treating, Steve and I went for what I thought was a very romantic late night moonlit walk in the Sembach fields.

Early in November, we went to the Maria Laach Abbey and walked in the lovely Autumn woods.

We had some early snow!

Thanksgiving was fairly quiet. I say, “With all the busy activities, Steve and I did get a chance to think about how happy we are with our life, and how blessed we are to have each other.”

And November 30, it was Steve’s time to turn 40 years old. We had Jerry and his wife Andreea over the day before his birthday, using our Raklete grill.

Steve left for a Band trip to the U.K. on his birthday. But he hosted a party for the band at the hotel that night. He called me at 2 am, drunk out of his mind, but happy. I was happy that he did think of me when he was too drunk to even remember it the next day!

And I’m going to start glossing over things. We got through Christmas, very busy as usual. We didn’t take a trip this year. I sang with the German-American choir in a Christmas concert where the band played.

We did some cool things in January. We visited the King Tut exhibit in Bonn and then went to the Arithmeum — a museum about calculating machines.

And on February 6, we visited Castle #164, the Wolfsburg.

And… It’s late. I should continue the hard part of this year another time. It all looked happy so far, right?

It’s time for Project 52, Week 39!

39 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 39 — June 14, 2003, to June 14, 2004. On Tuesday, I covered the first half of that year — our trips to Scotland and America in particular. Today I hope to finish out the year, beginning when we got back home to Germany in January 2004.

I’m laughing at myself, because one of the first things I talked about in my journal when I got back was the joy of processing all the new books that had come to the library when I was in America. We had recently been given $15,000 to order books, and I’d had a lot to do with the books selected — and I wanted to read them ALL!

My journal says, “I tried only to check out books I really want to read NOW, but I’ve already checked out 50 books! Oops!” This problem continues to this day, but it is a problem I love to have — too many outstanding books I want to read!

But we settled in to being back home in Germany. I was writing, working, posting Sonderbooks. On January 24, Steve took me — and Josh — to see the opera Julius Caesar in Kaiserslautern. Timothy stayed with our friends the Kings. (Bill King worked with Steve, and Pat King worked with me. Their two boys were in between Josh’s and Timmy’s ages.)

And then we got some SNOW! These were taken in the field near Sembach village.

And in our own yard:

On February 9th, our dear friends the de Riveras visited on their way back to their home in Spain (via Hahn airport near us) after a retreat in Switzerland. All five of their kids were with them, but I especially like this picture with their youngest.

Josh, a Sophomore in high school, was in Drama that year — and had the play that weekend. They did a collection of monologues, dialogues and ensemble pieces. Josh was in a very funny piece called “The Shrink,” in which Josh (the patient) drives a German psychiatrist crazy. He was in another piece that was a parody of a soap opera.

Oh dear. My journal/calendar has a special two-page spread to talk about Valentine’s Day. In view of what happened a year later, I want to write out what I wrote.

Yes, I was pretty aware that Steve wasn’t very happy. But I was completely unaware that he was unhappy with me. And I fully believed that he was every bit as committed to our marriage as I was.

Here’s what I wrote in the “New Loves” box:

My new love is my old love.

We had dinner out. We tried Max’s, then the Bierkrug, but both said we needed reservations. Then we settled for La Caseta on B40. The food was great, but it was packed, and very slow, so I worried about Timothy being home alone and whether Steve would be able to pick up Josh on time after the play. Anyway, both were fine, and it was great to have the time to talk with Steve. We talked about life — goals and dreams and having each other.

In the “…And Old Loves” box:

Steve will stick by me forever, and I’ll stick by him. We’ve been married for seventeen years, and I’m so glad he loves me still.

And in the box “Valentine Sentiments”:

Steve is my one and only, and my life is so much richer because of him.

(Note: The phrase “my one and only” was one Steve had used for me first.)

Sigh. Oh Sondy, you were in for heartbreak…. But it was lovely being in love. Yes, there are some disagreements I recorded in my quiet time journal. Yes, I was pretty aware Steve wasn’t completely happy with his life. But I was absolutely convinced that he loved me as much as I loved him and that I could count on him.

Mind you, we were getting divergent interests. I was working on my writing, on Sonderbooks, and was doing more and more reading. And Steve wasn’t interested in those things. When I had concerns, I was afraid to express them, because it came out sounding like criticism, and that got Steve angry. So I tried not to bring up Steve’s drinking. I tried not to complain that he suddenly started having really bad breath. (It did eventually turn out to be a medical reason.) I made a conscious decision not to complain when he worked late, because he was working hard as Director of Operations and NCO in charge of the Concert Band. He was proud of his responsibility, and I knew he’d be with me as much as possible. (So he concluded that I didn’t care….)

But — still lots of happy times! Steve’s Brass Quintet was playing for a party in Venice during Carnevale — so we got tickets to join him! Steve had been wanting to show us his hang-outs in Pordenone.

Here’s Pordenone:

We had dinner at “The Chicken Place.”

Our day in Venice had relentless, pouring rain. In fact, Steve’s gig in Venice was cancelled because it was an outdoor job. We went to Venice anyway — and ended up spending two hours over lunch just to get out of the rain.

Here’s Timmy with the DNA helix scarf I’d knitted for him.

Hey, it was Carnevale! We played with Timmy’s mask.

We did feed the pigeons in St. Mark’s Square. But I didn’t take many pictures at all, because I didn’t want to get my camera wet.

On March 9th, we got a really big snow. 10 inches in our backyard! The kids and Steve had a grand snowball fight while I took pictures.

And then came Spring!

And Josh’s 16th Birthday!

Reading my journal is fun. (This was the last year I was able to purchase a nice calendar that had space for short journaling across from the entries for each date. It’s perfect for just summaries of what happened. I had one most of the years in Germany, so that was nice, and how I kept track of all those castles.) Here’s a paragraph I like about Timmy:

Timothy did a report telling The Odyssey to his class this week — He got 225 out of 200 points! He said it was his “dream assignment” — and he didn’t even need to use notes!

I don’t think I’d mentioned that Timothy went through a few years where he really loved Mythology. Updated with information from Tim: This started in a TAG class in 1st grade on Mythology and had continued with reading about it, and absorbing everything mythological. We had a miniseries dramatizing The Odyssey that he watched over and over.

And this year, Josh did get to compete in the District Brain Bowl competition on March 25-26. He was definitely the star of their team, even as a Sophomore. (Every grade must be represented.) They took 4th place out of 21 teams. When I went to watch on Friday, I got to see them win three games in a row.

I took Spring Break off, but we did only day trips to save money. First, we went to Frankfurt’s Natural History Museum, the Senckenberg.

Next we went back to the Math Museum in Giessen, the Mathematikum!

And our next outing was the Keltenmuseum in Hochdorf near Stuttgart and saw a 2,500 year old gravesite, the Fürstengrab. It was also a beautiful day.

That day we also visited Castle #153, Hohenasperg.

But the highlight of April was a trip to Keukenhof! Well, really to the Netherlands. The excuse was that there was to be a European Biola Alumni Chapter gathering in Amsterdam on Saturday night. It ended up that no one else there attended Biola the same time as we did, but the food was good, and it was a great excuse to go to Keukenhof.

Steve and I both had Friday off, so we left as soon as Josh got home from school, and got two nights in the Holiday Inn in Leiden. So we got up early and spent the day Saturday at Keukenhof. I was just learning to use the Macro function on my camera.

I do so love Keukenhof! In the Springtime, it’s the most beautiful place in the world.

Okay, believe it or not, I really cut down the number of pictures I posted from the number I took!

That night, we went to the Biola gathering in Amsterdam. The next day, we went back into Amsterdam and visited the Van Gogh Museum. (Where I couldn’t take pictures.) Then we walked to the big English-language bookstore we’d found the night before. We said good-by to Steve — he had a band trip that began in Amsterdam, and I drove the family home.

Our wonderful Amsterdam trip highlights how many of our cool adventures in Europe were long weekend trips or day trips. It was so wonderful living in Europe, so you could do things like that as an afterthought. It was a long time before I could see a long weekend on the calendar and not think about what fantastic place we should go.

I was in the habit now of taking tulip pictures, so I took some in our own yard.

When I got home, my Mom called to say that Grandma Bates had died. Steve was out of town the rest of the week, but my friend Leah took me to the airport on Friday for me to go to the funeral in Oregon.

I got to see lots and lots of family.

In case you’re wondering, this picture below is me and my siblings who made it: Marcy, Robert, Melanie, Ron, Rick, me, Peter, and Abby.

The cemetery was lovely.

And we went back to Grandma’s house (where Aunt Susie still lives) afterward.

And back home, our flowers were still blooming!

For Mothers’ Day that year, we went to the castle restaurant at Burg Trifels.

My niece Kristen sent us a Flat Stanley. In May, the Rapps bloom, and I just love to look at the yellow fields, so first I took Flat Stanley among the Rapps in the fields by Sembach.

And the next weekend, I took a trip to Bremen to see my sister Wendy. Of course I brought Flat Stanley along!

Such a lovely walk through the park to the Mill Café.

This is what happens when there’s a big game.

Be careful, Flat Stanley!

Then on Sunday, Wendy took me to the Rhododendron Park. More flowers!

After lunch, we took the train out to Wildeshausen, where Wendy’s nice landlady spent her weekends, tending her mother.

First, we went to some Bronze Age sites with acres and acres of burial mounds, covered with heather.

To quote my journal, “Then we walked around fields of Rapps to a site with standing stones and a reconstructed king’s grave mound. It was all very amazing and 2500 years old.”

We finished up our time at Wildeshausen with tea and Kuchen and then walked Wendy’s landlady’s cute dog.

I took the train back on the 17th. Then my journal says this:

That evening, Steve and I were sitting out on the back patio enjoying the dazzlingly beautiful weather, when we said something about how long we’d known each other. Steve underestimated, then I said, no, I’d been 19 when we met, so it had been twenty years. He said something about missing the halfway point when we’d known each other half our lives, and we started figuring dates, when I realized it was exactly 20 years to the day from the day I fell in love with Steve!

(The day I refer to was the day Steve went to my dorm room open house and we read Winnie-the-Pooh out loud with a group, and I realized when he left that I’d just fallen for him.)

A week later, 20 years from our first date, when Steve took me to the Mongolian Barbecue for lunch, we went out to lunch in honor of the anniversary. Steve gave me a card in which he’d written, “If I had it to do over again, I’d have asked you out sooner! Happy 20th Anniversary of our first date! I love you! — Steve”

(So, yeah, I was blindsided by the events of the following year….)

Meanwhile, we actually went castling on the weekend of the 22nd. It was a little ruin outside Kaiserslautern, Ruine Beilstein, our Castle #154.

Flat Stanley was still sharing our adventures!

My notes say that was when I started a monthly Writer’s Group at Sembach Library that met after we closed. That was when I met some wonderful friends I have kept to this day.

And May 27 was an Awards Ceremony for Josh. My notes about that:

Josh got a “K-Award” for Honors English. This award is one where teachers nominate the most outstanding student in a class. It was ironic that he got it in English — the same class he got his lowest grade ever [an F, for not turning in homework] second quarter! Still, Ms. Knox did tell me that Josh is her favorite student, so perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised.

Josh also got the award for the highest score in the school on the AMC12 Exam; he got a special certificate of achievement from the Mathematical Association of America for being a Sophomore who scored higher than 90.

That week we went to Holiday Park in honor of Josh’s 16th birthday in March. I didn’t bring my camera. Notes about that:

The only really good roller coaster in the park is Ge-Force, but it’s my favorite roller coaster ever. I got to ride it 5 times. Josh rode it 7 times, and his friend Mike 6 times. It’s an incredibly fast roller coaster with wonderful drops and twists. There’s an 82 degree drop at the beginning (almost vertical) that also twists from side to side.

I found the more I relaxed and enjoyed it, the more I loved it. The looping roller coaster in the park gave me a headache from banging my head, but Ge Force has no upper body constraints — a tight seat belt and lap bar hold you in. It’s more fun if you reach your hands high and fly free! It got rid of my headache!

Poor Mike kept his eyes closed and hated it the first time, but with peer pressure, by the end of the day we had him converted.

And now I was gearing up for turning 40! In honor of that, I scheduled my first colonoscopy. It was awful! Not so much because of the colonoscopy, but because not eating before gave me one of my worst headaches ever, and it even was still there when I woke up from the anesthetic. Steve was out of town, so I was having to function and take care of the kids with the headache, too.

Wendy came to visit on the weekend before my Monday birthday. I took her to the coffee place where she met my dear co-worker Elfriede. Then we went for a hike on the Donnersberg and found Castle #155, Ruine Tannenfels, the last ruin on the Donnersberg I hadn’t touched yet. We also found a Keltische Ringwall, totally covered with earth, but definitely where the map said it was.

We went out to dinner as a family that night, and by that time we’d started our family tradition of writing a story where each person contributes one word and we go around. My notes say that night our stories were especially witty!

Then on my 40th birthday, I took Wendy to the train station and picked up Steve at Hahn Airport. He’d gotten special permission to come home from a trip by plane instead of by bus in order to be with me on my 40th birthday!

Steve and the boys gave me a book from Britain, a British type Logic Puzzles magazine, a box of shortbread, some good books, a blouse from Lands’ End, some German games, and a bread maker. And after lunch, we went off castling!

We went northwest, to the Hunsrück Burgen und Schieferstrasse. I wanted to find the one just past Kyrburg, Ruine Kallenfels. We succeeded, with some tricky driving by Steve on some little narrow lanes winding up the hill. So that was our Castle #156.

Steve pretty much no longer let me take his picture. In a passive-aggressive way, though. (He never actually told me not to.)

We looked for a castle restaurant at Kyrburg, which I think had been Castle #9. The restaurant was closed on Monday (as so many German restaurants are), but we roamed over the castle.

I like the cake my family made for me!

So, the year ended happily, with me excited for what my forties would hold. It’s just as well I didn’t know!

It’s time for Project 52, Week 39!

39 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 39 — June 14, 2003, to June 14, 2004. I have now come 3/4 of the way through my life! Though I’m afraid I think of the year I was 39 as the last year of innocence. If I’d known how hard my 40s would be….

When I was 38, we made our final move during our ten years in Germany and moved to Sembach Village. Jade (then called Josh) started high school, and we extended one more year in Germany — so that we could extend three more years this year and finish our time in Germany when Josh graduated from high school.

According to my journal, the summer began with the new Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Instead of going somewhere to get it at midnight, Steve got a copy on Saturday morning (June 21) at the Sembach Shopette, and our family read the first chapter together (Steve reading aloud) during my lunch break. We continued our tradition of reading it aloud at bedtime, but were holding more marathon reading sessions than we had before.

The next week, Josh got their first job! It was a student job at the Bowling Center. Josh learned to cook food and take orders and set up bowling lanes. It was a six-week program, and they still got to go on vacation with us and go to Ireland for three weeks later in the summer.

Also that week, Steve found out he made Master Sergeant! It was the lowest percentage promoted in six years — which they had published in advance, so Steve didn’t think he had a chance. Of course, he didn’t actually get the promotion for a year (which is an honor — the order’s by seniority). But he was happy about the increased responsibility.

Then the week of July 8 to 15, we vacationed in Scotland! Another wonderful UK trip. Now we’d visited England, Ireland and Scotland. (Some day, I very much want to go to Wales!) We touched castles 144 to 148: Stirling Castle, Edinburgh Castle, Urquhart Castle, Duart Castle, and Kilchurn Castle. My favorite of those was Urquhart Castle on Loch Ness. I’ll now include some Scottish pictures.

The first day, we went to Stirling Castle. (Had I mentioned that Timmy got glasses?)

Stirling Castle had an incredible view.

Here are my Three Wise Monkeys:

Here’s the village of Culross, where we stayed in a B&B:

The next day, we went to Edinburgh.

And that evening we rambled up the hill and through the lanes to Culross Abbey.

Genuine Scottish thistles!

The next day we headed north and stopped at the Scottish Crannog Centre, where we learned about prehistoric life in Scotland.

We arrived that night in Loch Ness! We had time to throw some rocks into the lake.

In the morning, we took a Nessie-hunting boat tour of Loch Ness. (So beautiful!)

And what do you know?!! We found Nessie!

And in the afternoon, we visited Urquhart Castle on Loch Ness.

Our next adventure was a ferry to the Isle of Mull, where we spent a night.

And of course our first stop on Mull was Duart Castle.

More Thistles there!

Here’s what I wrote about our drive to our hotel, the Argyll Arms:

Then Steve drove an hour on the one-lane road to our hotel. The Isle of Mull is an amazing landscape. Tall mountains of dark green tower on either side of you, completely empty of any sign of human existence.

One thing I remember about the Argyll Arms was a truly awesome breakfast. (Though they are always good in the U.K.)

We also wandered along the bay in front of the hotel.

The next day we took a ferry to Iona Island, and from there a boat to Staffa Island, which has basalt columns just like the Giant’s Causeway in Ireland.

There’s Fingal’s Cave, which we got to go inside.

Watching the water go in and out of Fingal’s Cave was impressive.

Then on top of the island, it’s a huge grassy area. The rest ran to go see some puffins we were told about, but I was worried about meeting the boat.

After Staffa, we wandered around Iona for a bit.

At a small museum on Iona:

And back on Mull that night by the Argyll Arms.

Poor Timmy got super sunburned that day!

But we had a wonderful sunset from our hotel window.

The next day we took the ferry back to mainland Scotland.

We headed south that day and stopped at Kilchurn Castle.

And then another stop on the bonny, bonny shores of Loch Lomond. (We’d gotten a CD of Scottish songs to play in our rental car.)

Our final B&B was at Largs, near Glasgow, but even nearer to the beach.

So that was our Scottish vacation. A truly lovely week!

When we got back, Josh headed to Ireland for one more summer session at Dublin City University’s Centre for Talented Youth. (I think they did Scriptwriting that year.)

We had lots of flowers in our yard at Sembach, flowers I didn’t plant but thoroughly enjoyed. I’ll insert some flower pictures here and there.

And Timmy turned 9 years old on July 29! We gave him the usual choice between a birthday party and a trip to an amusement park with a friend. And he chose — to stay home! He wanted to play the video games he presumed he’d get. And had a great time doing so! As well as a Bionicle board game.

The rest of my life, I was still working at the Sembach Base Library, still loving it. By now I worked with a third band wife, Pat King, after Jeanine and Robin had moved on. Elfriede was still there. But now my boss was Rochelle, after Jeff and Mary had moved on.

I was still writing Sonderbooks, now posting it as a website, still as a zine with issues. I posted Sonderbooks #59 on Timmy’s birthday. I had taken a writing course in the Spring, which had given me an idea for a second children’s novel, which I was working hard to find time to write.

And alas — looking at it now, I see that my marriage was really hurting. I didn’t know it then. Yes, I write frequently in my journal about “lack of harmony” between me and Steve. And I was worried that he’d drink every night. But I also mention that I’m thankful that “we” are committed to our marriage. I had promised my kids we’d never get divorced, and I believed that Steve wouldn’t ever do that. When we did have disagreements or tension, I’d think we’d worked them out. I write many times in my journals how thankful I am that my husband loves me. I may have been trying to convince myself — but I succeeded.

It bothers me going through these pictures, that in most of the ones I took of Steve, he’s scowling at me. I liked to take his picture because I loved to look at him. But he didn’t want me to. At one point he told me he didn’t want to remember these times. (Sondy, how much clearer could he get?) I also notice that he didn’t ever seem to take my picture…. Sigh.

But Steve also traveled a lot. That summer we had record-breaking heat, getting up past 100 degrees. The only time that happened while we lived in Germany. And Steve was in Finland, where it was in the 70s!

We didn’t have air conditioning anywhere — normally it wasn’t necessary. So we kept our Rolladen (thick metal blinds) closed and huddled in our house.

But on one of the hottest days of the year, I met my Aunt Linda, who was visiting in Germany, at Heidelberg Castle with Timmy. (Josh was in Ireland.) It was a bit amusing, because we’d also been to Heidelberg on our coldest day in Germany, right when we first moved there.

Then at the end of August, after Josh got back, we did something a little crazy: We tried out the Barefoot Path!

The website billed it as a 3 and a half kilometer foot massage. In practice? Ouch! The mud and water were bone-numbing cold. The sand was blazing hot. The grass might have felt good, but now it was dried up and prickly. And there were an overabundance of sharp little rocks. The best parts were crossing the Nahe River. It’s water was lovely, cool, and clear, and you could see little fish swimming past your feet. There was a suspension bridge on the way back with nice smooth footing.

On the way back, we stopped at a Cloister Ruin from a monastery built in 1108, Disibodenberg. Since it was fortified, I decided to count it as Castle #149.

And look! Look! September 2003 was when I began designing my Prime Factorization Sweater! Here I am working out what colors to use for which numbers.

And in September, my sister Wendy came to visit! Wendy had moved to Bremen with her husband Roger. She came south to visit us! We took her to the Rhein River, and visited Castle #150, Burg Stolzenfels (“Castle Proud Rock”). (You can always find a new castle to visit on the Rhein River!)

And then the next day, I took Wendy into Kaiserslautern and we toured the Kaiserpfalz.

But after that, my journal talks about how good it is to have Steve back after lots of trips and NCO Academy. He took me to an opera in Kaiserslautern, and it was so nice to be with him. I was happy I understood the German übertiteln, too. Then the next day, we walked in the woods together near Sembach and discovered a secret tunnel-like path completely arched over with branches.

Oh and school had started. Timmy was in 4th grade and Josh in 10th grade.

And then in October, I took the train and visited Wendy in Bremen!

A couple of rare photos of our living room at Sembach.

For Halloween, we talked Timmy into trying Josh’s old phone costume.

Josh tried something else.

We took a November hike on the Donnersberg.

And there’s Burg Falkenstein!

I have an interesting note on that page about the kids’ teacher conferences. Timothy made the Gold Honor Roll. Then there was this:

Josh’s lowest grade was a C in Honors English. I was all set to be upset about it, but when I went to the conference, the teacher raved about how great Josh is. She said he’s the most popular person in class! He wowed them first when reciting a Shakespearean sonnet, then completely won their hearts reciting a Shakespearean sonnet of his own. The class voted on five people to represent them, and Josh got 23 votes out of 25! The next highest was 13! So I wasn’t left with much to scold Josh about. He needs to do his homework! That was the problem in all the classes with grades below A’s.

For Thanksgiving, the whole family visited Wendy in Bremen!

There was a Christmas Market going on in the main square.

Unfortunately, I had a headache the whole time we were there. I was also trying a new migraine preventative, Zoloft — which years later worked beautifully for me — but that time was awful and made me tense and agitated.

But then came December — and it was time for our trip to America, courtesy of the Air Force, when Steve signed up for 3 more years in Germany – to finish when Josh graduated from high school.

We went first to Phoenix, where Aunt Kay was visiting.

Stephanie and her family were there, too!

Here’s the whole Eklund Family!

They took us to the Science Center.

We drove to California, to Becky’s house in Encinitas, in time for my Dad’s birthday on the 28th.

And of course we had to go to the beach!

Tim demonstrated his pigeon-feeding technique.

Watch Kristen’s face change!

We went pedalboating on Mission Bay

And that was the Christmas of Dance Dance Revolution.

Next, we went north to L.A., where my Dad got us a hotel room in Redondo Beach right on the water near his workplace.

And we went to Ruth’s! And so did Jennifer and Darlene!

By now there were a lot of kids!

Here’s a fun picture. The other boy is Carl John, Jennifer’s son, the same age as Tim.

I’d brought my Prime Factorization Sweater on this trip. My family thought it was very cool. But Carl John’s the one who, when I showed it to him, said, “That’s just weird!”

I had to admit he had a point!

We visited my brother Rick and his wife Pam in their apartment on Palos Verdes.

I don’t know when I’ve seen Catalina Island so clearly.

In fact, it was our 17th wedding anniversary that day, so Rick and Pam kept our kids while Steve and I went out to dinner.

Darlene and Matt came to see us in Redondo Beach, now with little Ryan.

Later, Games at the Hatch House:

(That’s Melanie, Abby, Marcy, Nathan, Peter, Ron, and Robert.)

On the way back to Encinitas, we stopped at the San Juan Capistrano Mission, where the swallows return every year on Josh’s birthday.

And more DDR before we went back to Phoenix.

In Phoenix, Gram E and Gramp E took us to the Wildlife Zoo.

Gramp E took Timmy to the park to shoot off some rockets and try his new scooter!

Okay, I’m going to have to stop there and call this Part One. I thought, because I had a snow day, that I could take my time and include all the pictures I wanted to. Oops! It’s already midnight, so I need to stop! There are 10 photo CDs left for the year I was 39. I’m going to have to try to be more concise when I post Part Two!

It’s time for Project 52, Week 37!

37 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 37 — June 14, 2001, to June 14, 2002. Now, by this time we were taking truly amazing trips. And I took wonderful pictures. I’m going to promise myself that will eventually post all these albums of pictures on Facebook. But try to include only the best here.

Last time, I did manage to cover the year I was 36 in one post. So I’m going to try for a summary only. But it will be difficult! (Though it will help that I haven’t scanned most of the pictures. I did get scans when I got the film developed, but they are mostly too dark and don’t do the pictures justice. So stay tuned for albums on my Facebook page when I get them scanned!)

We hit 110 castles that June, visiting Burg Cochem on the Mosel River on June 24.

And then came my favorite vacation of all the ten years we lived in Europe — 3 weeks in Ireland!

The reason we went to Ireland was that in January Jade (then called Josh) had taken the SAT in 7th grade — and scored 700 Math and 680 Verbal. Of 20,000 top 7th graders taking it, they were in the top 110 verbal scores and top 210 math scores. Josh qualified for Johns Hopkins’ Study of Exceptional Talent, which had many summer programs. Well, one summer program was offered by Dublin City University’s Center for Talented Youth. What an opportunity! We wanted so much to sign Josh up! I asked my Dad and he was willing to pay the tuition — and Josh was headed to Ireland for 3 weeks!

But we couldn’t just let our 13-year-old go to Ireland all by themselves, could we? We decided it would be best to fly with Josh to Ireland and back home to Germany. (Ryan Air flights were very cheap.) So that meant we were going to have to spend a 3-week vacation in Ireland!

Ohhh, I wish I could talk about every detail of that trip! I’m sure it’s just as well I don’t have the pictures scanned. We started and ended in Dublin. And traveled all around the perimeter of the island in the three weeks.

Our first night was spent in Dublin. The next day we visited Newgrange — older than the pyramids — and then dropped Josh off. The Irish kids were friendly. It was a little scary to drop Josh off, but they ended up having a fantastic time.

That night, we drove to Hatch Castle! I had a book of all the castles in the British Isles, so of course I wanted to see that one while we were nearby. It didn’t turn out to be very big. But it was Hatch Castle!

Then we spent the night in Carlingford, which of course also had a castle.

And yes, I really need to stop giving the play-by-play. We spent a few nights at a Bed & Breakfast in Northern Ireland. My favorite place was the Giant’s Causeway, with the hexagonal pillars.

But we spent our middle week in a self-catering farmhouse in the south of the country, but at a central location. While we were there was the only day that we had rain. That was perfect, since we stayed in the farmhouse and did our laundry.

We drove back north to a lovely Bed & Breakfast on the water just north of Dublin in the town of Skerries. Steve had to go back to work before we were done, so we took him to the airport. From then on, I didn’t do as much driving around, but Timmy and I had a great time in Skerries, and one day took the train into Dublin before picking Josh up at their graduation ceremony on the 27th.

Let me just say that Ireland is one of the most beautiful places in the world. I fell in love with it. We got some Irish music CDs and played them while Steve expertly drove us around the island in a rental car. And okay, I can’t resist posting a very few of my favorite pictures.

Yes, I’ve kissed the Blarney Stone!

When we got back to Germany, soon it was Timmy’s 7th Birthday.

Then on August 4, 2001, I wrote my first issue of Sonderbooks!

When I started Sonderbooks, I thought of it as an e-zine. So I wrote it in “issues” and emailed it out. I was reading so many books now that I was working in a library, I decided I wanted a way to tell people about them.

I was very excited when I quickly made some new friends via Sonderbooks. And of course, eventually (I think within a year) it became a website, I added a blog, and I added some supplementary blogs (like this one), and I still write it today!

The next big event, sadly, was September 11, 2001.

I was working at the library, scheduled to work until 7:00 pm. My co-worker Elfriede got a call from her neighbor, and little by little she told us something terrible was happening.

I ended up going home early (It happened around 5:00 pm) to see if my kids were okay. They didn’t know about it, but I felt better being with them. We ended up watching images on German TV while listening to American radio for hours. The base shut down. No school or work for a few days. We were all stunned. We went back to work and school on the 14th.

Things changed for the USAFE Band and with life on base at that time. Lots more security. Lots more.

Our next adventure was a weekend trip to the Black Forest and the Rheinfall in Switzerland on October 6-7.

And don’t forget that even though we now lived in Alsenborn instead of Gundersweiler, we still could go on stunningly beautiful hikes, walking out our own door.

This one’s from a Medieval Fest at Castle #129, Ruine Ronneburg.

That year Timmy was Harry Potter for “Book Character Day.” We were still reading the Harry Potter books aloud. Josh was in 8th grade and Timmy was in 2nd grade. And my journal says that we saw the first Harry Potter movie on November 22, 2001, which was Thanksgiving Day. We had dinner at the Kaiserslautern Rathaus Restaurant (a tall tower) rather than cook a turkey ourselves that year. (I liked it that all German restaurants were open on Thanksgiving, and you weren’t keeping any workers from a holiday.)

I see that by now I was meeting with my friend Jeanine now and then to work on photo albums, and with my friend Leah to knit! (Still lots and lots of headaches on my calendar, though.)

And that year we really did get a White Christmas again!

Then January 3, 2002, was our 15th Wedding Anniversary! Steve and I took our first and only overnight trip away from the kids after Josh’s birth. (No, wait, we did one more in 2005.) We visited Rothenburg ob. der Tauber. It was bitter cold. We walked around the town and spent our brand new shiny Euros and used up all our Deutschmarks. I purchased Pu der Bär, Winnie-the-Pooh in German.

We had some nice sledding in the field next to Alsenborn!

Josh turned 14, and those are some MathCounts trophies behind them. Josh had already won 1st place in the “Chapter Competition” — 1st place in the Individual Round and 1st place in the Countdown Round.

March 20, 2002, was the DODDS “State” Competition. Josh had been 6th place in 7th grade — the top four go to National competition.

This year Josh got 2nd place on the written tests (which determines the team) — and 1st place in the Countdown Round!

Here’s how the Stars and Stripes described it:

MAINZ-KASTEL, Germany — Matt Lane and Joshua Eklund sat deadlocked at 2 apiece after 11 tough math questions between them, buzzers at the ready.

Matt, the top seed, had displayed his best poker face after each question, while emotions had danced all over Joshua’s.

Josh was the one who got that last question right.

Here Josh is happily preparing to be interviewed by AFN TV.

And then — I finally got a digital camera! The literally hundreds of dollars I spent developing film for the Ireland pictures convinced me it was time.

Our next adventure was a week in Italy during Spring Break. The cool thing about that was that RyanAir was expanding its service to Italy — so we got plane tickets for 50 cents each! Now, with taxes and fees, it ended up costing us a total of $60 for the flight, but that was an awfully good deal! Mind you, with renting a car and hotels and the way we couldn’t seem to find inexpensive meals — It was still an expensive trip. But we still got a 50 cent flight to Italy.

I remember a big fight with Steve on that trip, where he threatened to leave me. Why did it take me so completely by surprise when he really did leave me a few years later? I guess once I got over it, I focused on enjoying Europe and always took the optimistic view….

But other than that, the trip was wonderful. We flew in to Bergamo, went to Sirmione and Verona, Venice, Padova, Bologna, Lucca, Pisa, Carrara, then back to Bergamo to fly home.

I did love that Steve had already had many opportunities to go to Venice with the band — but he saved it to visit the first time with me.

The favorite thing of everyone else in the family was feeding the pigeons in St. Mark’s Square. But that worked– I loved to take their pictures!

This next is too adorable not to share. Timmy did a project where we videotaped him reading the Gettysburg Address as Abraham Lincoln.

And I took some pictures of some of the most wonderful people in my life!

Here’s Jeanine:

Here’s my knitting buddy, Leah:

Here’s my dear co-worker, Elfriede:

And here’s my boss at that time, Mary Wallace:

Josh got to play Petrucchio in a “Young People’s” version of “The Taming of the Shrew.”

And the year finished up in Chicago for the National MathCounts competition! Steve’s sister and her family met us there, as well as Steve’s parents.

Here are the cousins:

On my 38th birthday, we girls (Gram E, Stephanie, Karli, and me) went to the American Girl show.

There was a reception at the science museum.

Here’s the MathCounts Team from DODDS.

And next week’s post will begin with the next phase of our trip, when we spent some time in DC with Kathe and Darlene.

It’s time for Project 52, Week 36!

36 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 36 — June 14, 2000, to June 14, 2001. But I’ve gotten bogged down lately, with each year taking lots and lots of posts, so I’m going to try try try to summarize my 36th year in one post. We’ll see…

(And it turns out, I don’t have all of this film scanned. That will make it easier.)

Last time, I did manage to cover the last half of the year I was 35 in one post.

And that brings us to the summer of 2000. It was a crazy-busy one. I was still getting lots of headaches, still working half-time at the base library (and loving it), and still stressed about all I was trying to do. One nice new development was that Josh was “officially” (by base guidelines) at 12 years old, old enough to babysit Timmy when I was at work and Steve was out of town.

I say in my journal on June 17, “Today, Josh babysat Timmy for 4 hours while I was at work. They say that it went fine. I can’t believe that Josh is so old now.”

I was still working on my writing. And on June 24, I started reading my first children’s novel to my kids, before getting ready to send it out again. So that was a nice milestone.

On July 8, we purchased Harry Potter #4 and Steve started reading that to all of us at the kids’ bedtime. Just in time to bring it on vacation to Bavaria on July 15.

[And I just discovered that there are 6 rolls of film that I haven’t scanned. But I discovered this after I wrote out the description! Anyway, imagine beautiful pictures!]

That was another wonderful and memorable vacation. We stayed at a self-catering place (with a kitchen) in Bavaria, and we were close enough to the American base at Garmisch that we were able to buy food in the commissary there and buy gas at cheap American prices there. Plus, the dollar was super strong compared to the Deutschmark (This was before W. Bush was president), with the rate at better than 2 Deutschmarks to the dollar.

On Sunday, the 16th, we went to Schloß Linderhof, Castle #98, another of Mad King Ludwig’s lavish castles.

Then Monday we took a trip to the top of the Zugspitze, the highest point in Germany!

After we came down the mountain, we did some pedalboating on the Eibsee.

On Tuesday, July 18, we met my email writing buddy Kristin, whom I’d met the previous year in Paris, and her kids, in Innsbrück. Kristin was an American living in northern Italy, and this way we each only drove a couple hours. And our Castle Count passed 100! In Innsbrück, we touched Castle #99, the Goldener Daechl, Castle #100, Schloß Hofburg, and Castle #101, Ottoburg.

After touching and touring some castles, our kids played their own version of Quidditch in a park while Kristin and I talked. Very fun!

And on Wednesday, we tried to go to the Passion Play at Oberammergau! You’ve probably heard of the Passion Play? It’s performed every 10 years, and people book tours way in advance and get packages that include a hotel in the city. Well, we’d heard that you can try for same-day tickets, and it’s far, far cheaper.

We did that — and there were no seats. But, we had an alternate plan, and traveled on to Munich, where we visited the Deutsches Museum!

Wednesday night, our reading of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire stopped at a dramatic place. The next morning, we all couldn’t stand it and we made a group decision to read one more chapter before we went out sight-seeing.

Well, one more chapter led to one more chapter — and we didn’t stop until we’d finished the book! But that wasn’t until the afternoon!

Fortunately, Thursday was the one day of the week that Schloß Neuschwanstein was open in the evening. So it worked out perfectly, and we went on a tour of Neuschwanstein.

This wasn’t our first time to Neuschwanstein, which was Castle #20. (Though I haven’t gone on about that visit because I didn’t have the film scanned yet.) But we knew that the best way to do it is take a ride up, then come back through the beautiful Pöllat Schlucht.

And on Friday, we really did get same-day tickets to the Oberammergau Passion Play!

They only cost 30 Deutchmarks — so less than 15 dollars each. (As opposed to thousands we could have spent on a packaged tour.) Of course, we soon found the catch — our seats were “obstructed,” with a big beam in front of them! However, there was no one behind us, so we could take turns standing to see better.

The kids brought Game Boys, though we bought a photo book during the lunch break, and the kids actually followed along with the pictures part of the time.

I was very pleased by how well I could follow the German. Of course, it was taken almost entirely from Scripture, which I’d memorized. And we had a program with all the words in German, so I could definitely tell what was going on.

The one thing I really didn’t like about it — They changed the ending! The best part of the story, and the reason I’m a Christian! Instead of following the gospel account that Jesus bodily rose from the dead and appeared to the disciples, they gave Jesus’ lines in the garden to an angel! Okay, that takes all the teeth out of it for me! They did show Jesus alive again, but as some kind of spirit. They were trying to leave it to the audience what you believe, but it really bothered me that they deviated so strongly from the account written in the Bible — in only that one area.

And a funny thing happened at lunchtime!

The Passion Play is 6 hours long. So they do 3 hours in the morning, take a long break for lunch, then go 3 hours in the afternoon. We were having lunch outdoors at a restaurant, along with lots of other people. I noticed the actors from the play eating at a table near us.

I said to Timmy, “Look! There’s Jesus!” (Forgive me, Lord.)

When the actor who played Jesus saw little Timmy staring at him, he smiled and stuck out his tongue. So Jesus stuck his tongue out at my child!

We went home the next day. And the next week, July 29, was Timmy’s 6th birthday!

Timmy’s 6th birthday felt very significant to me. Because Josh was 12, and I realized that once Josh lived as many more years as Timmy had already lived, they’d be 18 years old and ready to move out! And once Timmy had lived as many more years as Josh had already lived, he’d be 18 years old and ready to move out! Oh no! My little kids were growing up too quickly!

But I told Timmy before his birthday that when he turned six, his age plus his age would equal Josh’s age, and that his age times his age would equal my age.

He asked right away, “What’s ‘times’?”

I told him. I should also add that this was the time in Timmy’s life when we’d do math problems at bedtime. Timmy learned quickly that he could extend bedtime on and on and on with the magic words that were music to my ears, “Just one more math problem, Mommy, please!”

And one week after I told Timmy what “times” meant, Josh asked him, “What’s 16 times 4?” And Timmy figured it out in his head!

I was amazed. I never would have asked him such a hard one — but I did after that, and he continued to be impressive.

Then, August 3rd, our 7 weeks of visitors started. Stephanie and Bruce (Steve’s sister and her husband), were coming with their kids for 3 weeks. The day after they left, Steve’s parents arrived and stayed for four weeks! So we had guests from August 3 to September 20.

The reasoning was that they wouldn’t have to worry about where everyone would sleep if they didn’t come at the same time. But if they weren’t going to come at the same time, I really would have appreciated at least a week in between. But to be fair, both groups spent at least a week in the middle traveling on their own. So it wasn’t actually 7 solid weeks with guests in the house. And I couldn’t possibly take all 7 weeks off work, so I was working my 20 hours per week during their visits. It looks like that summer I was working two 8 hour days and one 4-hour day, so there were plenty of days free to go sight-seeing.

And despite how long we were hosting, we really did have some lovely times with all of them.

First stop was always Burg Falkenstein and dinner at Falkensteinerhof.

On August 8, we went back to Bitche Citadelle with the Stockhouses. This time it was open, and we did a complete audiotour about how the citadel was used during World War I.

I wanted to get myself a pink and flowery t-shirt with BITCHE across it, but they only had them in little girl sizes. For some reason, Stephanie didn’t want to get one for Karli!

Then on Monday the 7th, we went to Kurpfalzpark with them, an “Adventure Park.” Not so much rides, as things that get you somewhat active. We had a whole lot of fun.

Then Stephanie and Bruce went to Rothenburg for a few days, and on August 11, we took them to the Rhein River and did a short cruise together. We managed to touch three new castles — Castle #102, Brömserburg, Castle #103, Adlerturm, and Castle #104 where we had dinner, Burg Lahneck.

And we went to one of our favorites, Burg Pfalzgrafenstein.

Timmy would gladly lower Josh into the dungeon!

Here’s where we had dinner.

The next night, we went to a Fest where the Brass Quintet was playing.

And the next day we caught the Medieval Fest in Kaiserslautern.

Then the Stockhouses headed to Berlin for a week. (See! It wasn’t really 7 weeks of visitors. Of course, Steve was gone at the same time, in Italy with the Band, so it wasn’t exactly relaxing for me. And in fact, I had a 3-day migraine.) When they got back, we took them to another favorite castle, Heidelberg.

August 22 was our last day with Stephanie & Bruce and their kids, and August 23 was the day Gram E and Gramp E arrived. To mix things up a little, we took them to Altenbaumburg Restaurant instead of Falkensteinerhof.

We met our friend Marie-Laurence and her family at a pow-wow in Kaiserslautern. (It was a tad surreal to go to an American Indian pow-wow in Germany.) We also visited the Landesgartenshau there. (And Steve was in England at the time.)

And August 28, 2000, was Josh’s first day of 7th grade and Timmy’s first day of first grade!

We did eventually take Steve’s parents to Falkensteinerhof.

Gram E and Gramp E left on September 20. Then on Sunday afternoon, September 24, we did an outing to Luisen Park in Mannheim.

Oh, there’s so much more I’d like to talk about! But I really did want to finish talking about this year tonight.

So — let me deliberately try to mention only three more things.

We took a wonderful trip over Thanksgiving Break to Switzerland. Steve’s tuba had gotten damaged on a band trip, so he took it back to the factory where it was made, to be repaired. The owner gave us a tour!

And while we were there, we visited the CERN particle accelerator!

And then the beautiful Chateau de Chillon, Castle #106, on Lake Geneva.

However, when we got home from vacation, we got terrible news — We had to move again!

Our landlords were selling the house. (I think it was another divorce.) So we had to move out. We found a place and moved in January. Alas! It wasn’t nearly as nice, though it was closer to the base. We got friends to help and moved to a new townhouse in Alsenborn.

It was brand-new, but since houses in Germany are mostly made of concrete, it was a bit extra damp. The odd thing about it was that it was on 6 levels. Sort of a half-floor on each level. It was a nice place — but we had been spoiled. We slept in the new place on December 29.

I’m going to gloss over the start of 2001. Moving in. I had the highest fever of my life — 104 degrees — when I had a kidney infection. The next week, Josh’s fever was just as high with a flu bug.

More pleasant, we went on a bus with a group from church to spend a day in Euro Disney in February.

And then we spent Spring Break in Paris. I have to post some of those pictures.

We set Timmy the same challenge we’d given Josh in prior years. If he could get his head between the pyramids, he’d become super smart!

He could!

Castle #107 was the Palais Royale

Josh was happy to imitate this statue in the Louvre.

We got a wonderful view of the city from the Pompidou Centre.

We got to Notre Dame when it would storm for 10 minutes, then be sunny and beautiful for 10 minutes. I’m very happy with the April in Paris shots I got during some sunny interludes.

I had to pose again at Rue Lagrange!

And on the way home we stopped at the Science Museum, the Cité des Sciences et l’Industrie.

I love this one of the Timmys conferring!

Josh lost their head over this exhibit.

And I actually got to Paris again in May. I went to another SCBWI conference May 11 to 13.

So — I managed to cut out a lot, believe it or not! Here’s what I wrote at the end of the year I was 36:

I’m 37 years old today.

It’s been an excellent year — The boys had a good year at school. We went to Bavaria last summer. Steve’s sister and his parents visited. Timothy went from hesitant reading to voracious reading. We discovered he’s a Math Whiz. Josh took the SAT and did phenomenally. He was first place in the district in MathCounts. We spent a week in Paris in Spring Break, and I got to go to the SCBWI Conference. I had a breakthrough in my book and I’m really writing again. And we’re going to Ireland this summer.

So it was a good year. My boys are at such a nice age. Timmy’s still small and cuddly, but smart, too. And Josh is getting big and responsible.

This year, I will finish Unicorn Wings. Perhaps I’ll find a publisher! I like the shape of my life these days, with books and writing and working and being with my boys.

So now I can let this go for a few days! Next week — the greatest vacation of all our years in Europe — 3 weeks in Ireland!

It’s time for Project 52, Week 35, Part 8!

Okay, wait a second. Really, it’s time for Week 36!

36 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I should be covering the year I was 36 — June 14, 2000, to June 14, 2001, but the truth is, I still haven’t finished the year I was 35.

So I really need to reset. I need to give up the idea of posting all the gorgeous photos of Europe. Settle for a summary, Sondy! So — tonight I’m going to try to summarize the last half of the year I was 35. And then I will try try try to talk about the year I was 36 with ONE post. Not sure I can do it, but I’m going to try!

Last time, I got us up to December 1999. Which meant we had completed one “tour” in Germany. Since we extended for a “Continuous in place” assignment, the Air Force would pay for us to take a trip back to the States! I thought that was so fabulous. When we lived in Illinois for five years, we felt just as far away from family, but no one paid for trips to see them!

And it looked like living in Germany had truly broken my bad luck of missing snow every time I went to California and Arizona for Christmas. Not only did we get a white Christmas that first year, but this year we got a big snowfall in December before we left! Six inches of snow fell on December 19th, which was the most snow I’d seen fall at one time in my life up to that time.

Hmmm. I’ll have to show more restraint than that! (Though you should see all the beautiful snow pictures I didn’t choose.)

Our first stop in America was Phoenix, visiting Gram E and Gramp E — and Steve’s sister Stephanie was there, too, with her husband Bruce and two kids, Karli and David. And we got to see Aunt Kay, who had now moved to Arizona.

Here’s a gathering with some Eklund cousins, I think at the Phoenix Zoo.

Then we drove to Encinitas (near San Diego) to stay with my sister Becky. That was the year we’d been given Furbys. We put them in the trunk. After we’d driven a little while, we heard a loud voice saying “BORING!” coming from the trunk!

My siblings and parents gathered at Becky’s house for a Christmas gift exchange.

And some aunts and uncles and cousins came, too!

We went to a Star Wars Exhibit at the San Diego Museum of Art on New Year’s Day, 2000, with Becky’s family.

And then we headed to Los Angeles. We stayed in a nice hotel on the water that had a deal with my Dad’s company. We connected with old friends there, as well as seeing my family.

We had lunch with my Dad near his work in Redondo Beach.

And we went to Disneyland!

Darlene was in town, too! We got together at Ruth’s house with Jennifer there, too! And Jennifer’s two kids as well as mine.

And we always have to do a Tall picture. This time we thought it would be fun to have the wives towering over the husbands.

On the way back to Arizona, we stopped in Joshua Tree National Park. It seemed only fair for Josh to get a picture with the sign.

That was the year we made a Super Timmy video. Josh wrote the script. It was delightful.

We took a trip to Montezuma’s Castle on a bright and beautiful (but headache-inducing) day.

And now I’m sure we went to the Phoenix Zoo.

Back home in Germany, on February 7, 2000, we took a trip into France to visit Castle #89, Citadelle de Bitche, located in Bitche, France. (Pronounced “Beesh.”) Unfortunately, we’d forgotten how things tend to be closed on Monday. We decided we’d come back later, but thought it made a perfect Dark Lord’s fortress.

Josh took 3rd place in the All-School Spelling Bee.

Josh turned 12 years old in March, and I went with their class on a field trip to Idar-Oberstein. And something happened which seemed like a tragedy to a mother of a Kindergartner.

Well, I went on Josh’s Field Trip. Though the trip itself was rather fun, it ended with a Horrible Nightmare.

Because the sponsors did not insist on sticking to the schedule and let kids buy souvenirs, the bus was 45 minutes late getting back to school. Well, Timmy had gone home on the bus (I had planned to get him off before they left, or else beat the bus home.) Although they were not supposed to let him off if his parent is not there, they did. (The other girl said, “Timmy, there’s your stop!” — so the bus driver let him off and Timmy felt he should go.)

While I was on Josh’s bus, we passed Timmy’s bus, so I knew it would get to Gundersweiler before I possibly could, but didn’t really expect them to drop him off. I got Josh to the front of the bus with me, and we ran to the elementary school office as soon as the bus stopped. I explained the situation to them, and asked them to call Steve if Timmy showed up there. Then Josh and I ran to the car, and I sped home — with a raging headache.

When we got near the house, there was Timmy, sitting on the step. When I saw his scrunched-up, crying face, all my worst fears came true. I burst into tears, parked the car without backing it, jumped out without closing the door, and hugged him and cried with him. I felt so horrible about not having prevented it.

When we went into the house, Timmy sat on the sofa and put a blanket over his head. I held him and cuddled him and read to him and we all calmed down.

But it was a horrible experience, which I will never forget. I really felt like I let down my son.

And I was never in a hurry to volunteer for field trips again.

The next week, Josh was one of the winners in the 6th Grade Storytelling Festival. (Such an expressive voice!) I left the festival early to be absolutely sure I could meet Timmy’s bus!

We went to Holiday Park for Josh’s birthday.

Springtime in Gundersweiler was glorious.

We took a walk on our hill when everything was in bloom.

We went on vacation on a quick weekend trip, traveled north, and touched 5 more castles. (I forgot to mention that we touched Schloß Herrenstein, Castle #90, on Josh’s field trip.) The castles on the weekend of April 29-30 were:

Castle #91, Schloß Sababurg, traditionally Sleeping Beauty’s Castle, so a Grimm Fairy Tales site.
Castle #92, Burg Trendelburg
Castle #93, Schloß Wilhelmsthal
Castle #94, Schloß Wilhelmshöhe
Castle #95, Burg Löwenburg – sort of a “fake” castle, built to be romantic, but more than a hundred years old, so it counts.

Sababurg:

Schloß Wilhelmsthal:

The grounds at Wilhelmshöhe and Burg Löwenburg were amazing. Walking through them gave such a sense of peace.

Oh! I wrote down in the front of my calendar that on April 28, 2000, Timmy read the whole book Bark, George!, by Jules Feiffer, aloud to us. And he learned to swing by himself the same day!

My calendar also notes that my headaches were doing terrible. I was having 3-5 headache days every week. I did finally go back to the doctor. It looks like I tried Verapamil about this time. It doesn’t look like it helped much. Let’s see, April 2000 was when I had a 9-day headache — the longest I’d ever had at that time. (Those were the days! Except later when I got longer ones, I don’t think they were as bad. That year was a super bad time for headaches.)

Ooo, speaking of illness. On May 7, we took Timmy to the Emergency Room with a 104 degree fever. He had scarlet fever. But did recover fairly quickly.

Our next day of castling was Mother’s Day, May 14. We went to Castle #96, Saalburg, and I wrote about it:

This year, Mothers’ Day was glorious. The weather was absolutely unbeatable. It was sunny and bright. The world glowed — with bright, new green and spatterings of flowers. There weren’t any clouds.

After church, we had a quick lunch and headed for Saalburg, just north of Frankfurt.

It’s an old Roman fort, built to guard the border of the Roman Empire, just set back from the Limes. 100 years ago, Kaiser Wilhelm II had it rebuilt.

The castle was beautiful — set in a park. It was a wonderful day to walk among the trees. We also looked at the exhibits of artifacts they found — even old leather shoes, remarkably like shoes we would wear today.

Next, we ate at a nice restaurant, on the patio. I had some wonderful salmon, followed by strawberries and cream.

After dinner, we walked to the Limes — the original earthworks are still there — now, almost 2000 years later. Amazing! They also had a reconstruction of the wooden fence of post that they put up past the ditches and mounds of eart. Truly a beautiful day.

I love this new tradition of going to castles for Mothers’ Day!

We counted the Limes as Castle #97, since it was 2000-year-old fortifications.

First, they’re being Romans.

Now, they’re being Barbarians.

Some milestones happened in June: Timmy graduated from Kindergarten. Steve made Tech Sergeant. Josh completed Algebra I. And I got a Performance Award at the Library for my computerized check-out system.

And of course we went to a castle restaurant for my birthday dinner. I chose an old favorite, Altenbaumburg.

And that was the year I was 35! Now, can I even come close to being that concise for the year I was 36? I’m not sure, but I’m going to try… but not tonight!

It’s time for Project 52, Week 35, Part 7!

35 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 35 — June 14, 1999, to June 14, 2000.

So far, Week 35 has had lots to tell about! It took four posts to talk about our England vacation, then another to get through the rest of the summer and both my kids in school, and then my trip back to America for my friend Darlene’s wedding.

First, some adorable pictures of my kids on Halloween. Josh’s Harry Potter costume was easy – my Master’s gown plus one of my knitting needles, and a lightning scar. Though, believe it or not, 1999 was early enough that not many people recognized Harry Potter. Timmy had a purchased Anakin Skywalker outfit, though, which was a lot easier for folks to identify.

We’d trick-or-treat on base (because it’s not a German tradition. Sometimes some German kids would come to our door, and they didn’t know what to say, but would say, “Happy Halloween!”), and apparently we stopped at the library to say Hello to Elfriede. So here they are at the library.

And here’s my dear Elfriede! (I’m sure she volunteered to work the late shift that day.)

We ran into the Ciufo family (another band family) while trick-or-treating.

I’m reading some interesting things in my journals that don’t really have pictures to go with them. So I’m going to write about some of them and intersperse pictures of our home in Gundersweiler.

This was when I made the Access data base we used at the library for checking out books! I enjoyed that project tremendously. Before this, to check out books, customers had to write their name and address and phone number on a card, and then the title, author and call number of every single book they checked out! It was ridiculous!

So, first, I made an Access data base to print overdue notices. Because as it was, they had been handwriting the book information onto pre-printed notices. And first checking the shelves from the cards — with the books not in order.

I wanted to expand the data base to do check-outs, but they had purchased a new computer system already, or were planning to purchase it, or something.

Here’s what I say in my journal:

I get to start writing a Computer System for the Library! They keep stringing us along — It sounds like it will be months before our system from the contract is up and running.

So Jeff is letting me write a new system for the short-term using Access. I’m having some difficulty — It’s almost just like Overdues, only I want to keep Book information in another data set.

It’s going to be fun exploring Access until I get it to work! The hard part is that I want to spend extra time on it. I do like programming!

Even writing that much has got me thinking about it!

I will add that we used my system for a full year before we got the purchased system. We only had to enter a customer’s information the first time they used the library, and we only had to enter a book’s information the first time it was checked out.

Over the next year, I added a component to track our McNaughton rental books. And then I added ISBNs – which we ended up using to reconcile the new system by loading book information from OCLC. They had scanned our shelflist before I started working in the library — and it was off by thousands of books by the time we got the Horizon system. My data base came to the rescue and made reconciling easy. Well, easy with the help of the SQL program I wrote. (And I learned both Access and SQL and OCLC for the project. So much fun!)

I also spent a lot of time stewing about trying to enable Josh to go ahead in Math and take Pre-algebra in 6th grade. (6th and 7th grade math are for reinforcing skills that Josh already had.) At first, math teachers condescendingly told me that Josh needed to learn to organize their locker and notebook first. But why should Josh have to sit through a class teaching things they already knew just because they had limited organizational skills?

Fortunately, the school had a new teacher for the Talented and Gifted program that year. She advocated for Josh, who ended up going to Dr. Davis’s room for math. I was in charge of making assignments and grading homework.

Here’s what I wrote about their conferences in November:

So — I should write about the boys’ conferences. Timmy is fitting in beautifully in Kindergarten. For the first 3 weeks, he didn’t talk or participate. But once he got used to everyone, he now joins in eagerly. His teacher says he’s adjusting beautifully.

I loved seeing his work. On some pictures, he’d written about the picture — “i LiC GO TRK TRTN” meant “I like going trick-or-treating.” I was amazed — I had no idea that he was interested in trying to write.

Ms. Hawkins said that there are quite a few kids this year who know all their letters well — so she’s going to work with this small group on learning sight-words and such.

Josh’s conferences were not as wholly positive. His teachers agree that he’s smart, but he’s missing lots of work — and already for this semester, too. We went to his locker and found a mountain of papers in a heap. We discovered some of the missing homework — so he spent all day Saturday in the Library working on homework.

The good news with Josh is that he really gets to go to Dr. Davis’s room for Independent Study in Math — and he says that he likes Math homework.

Less cheery writing shows that I was getting lots more headaches again. So quitting Inderal, while stopping the drug-induced lupus — was bad for my headaches. I count 22 headache days written down in July, August, September, and October. So it would get worse. I was steeling myself to start working with a doctor to find a new preventative. That’s hard to do because when you have a headache, you don’t feel like messing with it, but when you don’t, you hope that you don’t actually need it. And they were pretty clearly related to hormonal fluctuations, too.

Something that shakes me more is seeing seeds of our marriage problems to come. This time, I can’t chalk it up to post-partum depression. On November 5, I wrote:

I’m thrown by that talk I had with Steve. He told me he’s not even sure that he’s a Christian, and my world was shaken. Of all the things I never expected to be, it’s someone with an unsaved spouse.

And three days later, I wrote:

Today I’m really stewing about Steve and about our marriage. I still feel betrayed that for years he hasn’t even felt he was a Christian, and he hid it from me all this time.

Sondy, Sondy, remember? Steve did tell you in Illinois that he “wasn’t sure” he was a Christian. You just assumed he’d seen the light. In fact, when your view of God was revolutionized by George MacDonald’s writings, and you came to believe that everyone will be saved (eventually), you thought that explaining all that to Steve would of course set his doubts to rest.

Looking at it now, I don’t think I listened to Steve. I would complain that he didn’t tell me what he was going through, but it looks like he did tell me some things, and if I didn’t understand, I dismissed it. I was just so darn optimistic. If I was upset with Steve, I’d talk it through with God in my quiet time notebook, and I’d remind myself that I do love Steve. In this section, I say, “Lord, I want to love my husband. I do. I promised to stand by him for better or for worse.” So somehow, I thought that made everything okay — not realizing that if he was going through some of the same doubts about us, he might not be bringing it around to remembering how much he loves me.

If we had gone to marriage counseling back then, if I had started reading books on marriage then, I wonder if it would have helped?

Chicken Night was also an issue. Steve liked to have people over. And since I balked at cooking frequently for guests, we started doing Chicken Night. He would get a rotisserie chicken from a place in Winnweiler. And we’d have a bunch of friends over. We did this every week.

Now, this was super fun! We had a great time! But — every week? It meant I really did have to do some cleaning every week. And I was working late one night a week, and taking the kids to AWANA one night a week, and for awhile taking a German class with Josh once a week — and always looking for time to write.

Here’s what I said in that same journal post:

In theory, I like chicken night. But Steve doesn’t consult me in the slightest as to whether it should happen or who he should invite. He had chicken night on the very day I got back from America — when I desperately wanted to be in bed. Then, last week when I’d been working for 7 days in a row and really didn’t want to.

Steve felt like since he took care of the food, there wasn’t anything for me to do, so he could plan it himself. When I finally protested, eventually we quit doing Chicken Night altogether. Which wasn’t what I wanted at all! I just wanted it not to have to be every single week….

But Snow came in November that year, on the 17th, the 19th, the 20th, and the 22nd. That always brightens things up!

And we got in two more castles in 1999. On Sunday, November 28, we visited two castles.

First, Castle #87, Ruine Eremitage, which I don’t seem to have photographed. Then Castle #88, Hardenburg. (You’ll want to remember that it gets dark early in Germany in November.)

I like the Christmas tree!

We had a big gathering for Steve’s 35th birthday on November 30th. For this gathering I was fully on board! (And I really enjoyed that we got together with so many friends in our beautiful home. And a Birthday is a Special Occasion.)

And this picture’s special. Remember how we gave Josh’s 5th grade teacher Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone? Well, he read it to his next 5th grade class. And that was about the time that certain parents started having a fuss because it contained fantasy witchcraft. So Mr. Martin’s class advertised their love of Harry Potter with signs in the windows saying: This CLASS LOVES HARRY POTTER. It made me super happy to see it. And this was about the time that Mr. Martin told me it was the best teacher gift he’d ever been given.

So — that brings us right up to Christmas. I’m not sure if I’ll get more posted tonight, so Year 35 may have to spill into Week 36. And Christmas meant a trip back to America….

It’s time for Project 52, Week 35!

35 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 35 — June 14, 1999, to June 14, 2000.

This is the last day of the 35th week, and I’m not even halfway through the year! I may have to start summarizing. It took four posts to talk about our England vacation, and then another to get through the rest of the summer and both my kids in school.

We were still Castling. On Saturday, September 25, we got out a map and picked a location with several symbols for castle ruins, and then tried to find out how to get there using road signs, once we got to the area. (Would Google maps take out the fun of castling? It would make it easier to know if it were possible to get to a castle. In our day, we had to pick a place with lots of potential choices, in hopes that at least one was findable.)

Castle #85 was Ruine Randeck. We had headed in a new direction, but it wasn’t real far from home in Gundersweiler. You can see that we got there on a beautiful day.

Playing tag at a castle again:

We were the only people there (one of the cool things about castle ruins), so there wasn’t anyone to ask to take a family picture. I gave everyone else a turn with the camera. First Timmy took a picture:

Then it was Jade’s turn:

And finally Steve took a picture:

Timmy was in Kindergarten, so maybe this was a shoe-tying lesson? (Steve taught using a different method than I did, and it was simpler.)

And could anyone look more angelic?

Now here’s a picture that makes my heart happy. Timmy took a few weeks to adjust to Kindergarten. He is one of the most introverted people I’ve ever known, and was very quiet, observant, and tentative the first few weeks. But this showed that he was adjusting and finding his stride. He was Star of the Week! And I love his proud smile.

And the highlight of the Fall was when I took a trip by myself to Virginia to be in Darlene’s wedding! I got a seat on a Space Available flight for almost free. (It flew in to BWI, so Kathe had a long drive to pick me up.) I flew out on October 18 and stayed at Kathe’s house.

I hung out with Kathe and her son Tim, and ran some errands with Darlene and met her new husband Matt. It was strange to be in America, but have it not feel like home. (So much cement! The wide, wide roads! Ugly strip malls!) And it was hard to be on the other side of the ocean from my kids and husband. But very, very good to have time with Kathe and Darlene.

On October 21, Kathe took me and Tim for a drive along Skyline Drive to enjoy the Fall Color. So beautiful!

And here’s the happy couple!

At the Rehearsal:

At the Rehearsal dinner, we were in booths, and here’s the group I sat with. The couple on the left were friends of Matt’s. On the right are Diane and Ed Allen, and Lisa Miller, who went to high school and church with Darlene and me.

And yes, that was when I met Pastor Ed Allen and his wonderful wife Diane! I remember he teased me about the childhood photos of Darlene that I was circulating! So now I can tease back that he had more and a different color of hair than he does now.

And Darlene Sasaki and Matt LeVault got married on October 23, 1999.

The truth is that Lisa put butter on her finger to take this picture to try to shock Darlene after the fact!

The reception was at the LeVault home.

My last day in Virginia was Sunday, October 24. I attended Gateway Community Church in the morning with Kathe, and wished there was a church like that where we lived. It wasn’t too small or too big (Kathe seemed to know most of the people.). I liked the singing, and Pastor Ed didn’t have a “preacher voice” and I liked the style of the service. After the service there was a Fall Fest and I thought that my whole family would enjoy such a church.

After that, I hung out with Kathe and Joe and Tim until Kathe took me to BWI Airport in the evening and I caught a Space Available flight home.

It’s time for Project 52, Week 35!

35 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 35 — June 14, 1999, to June 14, 2000.

And this may be the year I can’t get through in a week! It took me four posts just to cover our vacation in England. First, we roamed around Dover Castle, then we went to Bodiam Castle, Battle Abbey, Winnie-the-Pooh country, Framlingham Castle, and Somerleyton Hall, then Cambridge, London, Weeting Castle, Castle Acre Priory, and Castle Acre Castle, and finally Oxford, Castle Rising Castle, Leeds Castle, and the white cliffs of Dover.

We got back from England in time for Timmy’s 5th Birthday on July 29.

The book Timothy Goes to School was a good choice, because Timmy was about to start Kindergarten!

My journal says that on August 2, my friend Jeanine really did get the other half of my job at the Sembach Library! I had been working 27 hours per week since January, and now could go back to 20. Plus, Timmy was about to start Kindergarten, so I was looking forward to having more times for things like writing.

August 11, 1999, there was a total eclipse of the sun happening in Germany. I looked carefully at maps, though the eclipse was definitely going to be visible in Kaiserslautern, it looked like Sembach, where we worked, would be right on the edge. So I wasn’t sure we’d even get to see it if we stayed there. Kaiserslautern was having a fest on the hill above the city, so I took the day off and we went, with Jeanine and her husband, to Kaiserslautern to see the eclipse. We got special viewer glasses to be safe about it.

We were having a great time, and enjoyed the partial eclipse leading up to total.

And then — about one second before the eclipse went total — clouds completely covered the sun, and we couldn’t see it at all! It even began to rain a bit. Yes, it got dark, but we didn’t get to see the actual event.

The final straw to the story is that my co-workers who had been at work said that they and the library patrons just stepped outside and got to see the total eclipse just fine! No clouds covering the sun 20 minutes north of Kaiserslautern! Oh well!

(I’m thinking about going to Oregon to see the total solar eclipse in August 2017. But will my luck continue like this time?)

Still some more outings. We went for a hike on the Donnersberg — the large hill near our house that dominated the skyline — on August 20 and went up the tower at the top.

The kids are wearing shirts Steve got them on a recent Band tour to Budapest.

This is from our house in Gundersweiler. A balloon went right by!

Another Angel picture!

On Sunday, August 22, we decided to do some castling after church. We packed a picnic supper and visited Castle #84, Moschellandsburg.

See how I fill the doorway!

I’m not sure what game they’re playing….

A beautiful spot for a picnic!

Interesting. Josh’s first day of sixth grade was August 30…

… but Timmy’s first day of Kindergarten was September 7. And there was Orientation and a Home Visit in between.

Oh look! I wrote in my journal about Timmy’s first day of Kindergarten!

Timmy’s favorite thing about the first day of Kindergarten was — the bus ride! He drew two pictures that first day — and they were both about the bus ride. The first was him and Josh and the bus driver on the bus. The second was of me waiting at the bus stop, angry because the bus was late! (And indeed it was — but I was worried, not mad.

And some about Josh:

Josh seems to like school well enough. He doesn’t say a lot about it, though one day he did say, “I like art!” And that was very good to hear. Too bad that art will only last for one quarter. (He has Art, Host Nation, Spanish, and P. E.)

Josh has chosen to play oboe, thanks to Jeanine’s urging. I’m a little taken aback. Somehow, I always expected him to play a brass instrument. Maybe he’ll actually get his instrument next week.

This week ended up being a rough one for me. Getting the dryer replaced (It had a dead mouse in it.) was a huge hassle, that finally had me in tears. The bureaucracy can be so maddening! There was a Band Parents’ meeting on Tuesday night, and any trip to the base seems like such a huge deal with that detour on the way, making it take almost 30 minutes to get there.

Yesterday was a good day at work, though. It’s so nice to have Jeanine there! And it was a whole lot of fun ordering more McNaughtons than usual — and some old books, to fill in our collection. I love my job very much. In the morning, I had quiet Brandon McDonald laughing aloud at Story Time! (And last week, little Elisha cried when I left!) Jeanine gets Jeff more talkative than ever! We work well together.

That’s all for tonight. Tomorrow will be the test to see if I can finish blogging about the year in one week — not even halfway yet. Coming up is another beautiful little local castle, Darlene’s wedding, and a trip back to the States over Christmas.