It’s time for Project 52, Week 50!

50 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 50 — June 14, 2014, to June 14, 2015.

This week, I’ve already covered the 75th Annual Bates Family Reunion, Fabulous Friends at Fifty, Herons and Egrets Around My Beautiful Lake, and Christmas fun. I’m ready to start talking about 2015.

The year began, of course, with more walks by my lake.

And we got some snow!

I got some new earrings I really liked from my sister Wendy for Christmas. I was still super happy about getting to wear earrings, since I’d only had pierced ears for a year. So I got a little obsessed, trying to take selfies that show off the earrings.

And a walk by the lake when it was frozen:

I did have a lot on my mind that January. I was still gaming with my Friday night group at Paul’s house or Mike’s house and with the Sunday afternoon group at Alexis and Chris’s house. My small group from church was still meeting at my house after church on Sundays.

That January was when I began reading the book Deeper Dating, whose philosophy I really agree with. Basically, you work on being your authentic self and expressing that and hanging around people who inspire you. I was starting to think about ditching online dating. Not that I’ve found anyone with the Deeper Dating methods, but I do have a clear idea of what I’m looking for. And – I reread the book recently – it encourages me because I feel like I do know how to make friends, and I have made friends using these principles of being who you are. Some day, I’ll make a friend who’s a single man my age! But meanwhile, my life is all the richer for the friendships I do have.

But the biggest thing on my mind was cancer. I’d had a CT scan and MRI done in the fall – and my right vertebral artery was showing a little bit of improvement – but they found a “mass” in the left pyriform sinus in my throat.

Well, long story short, I had a biopsy done on January 28 – and they found that it was overgrown lymphatic tissue. It was perhaps extra large when the MRI was done because I had a bad cold at the time. The official diagnosis was “reactive lymphoid hyperplasia,” but the word I heard was BENIGN.

I took a day of sick leave after the procedure, and the next day went to ALA Midwinter Meeting in Chicago.

I didn’t take pictures on my own camera, but I did blog about the trip. On Friday, I went to a Graphic Novel Author Forum and a USBBY meeting. Saturday began with Abrams Book Buzz, then a Women in Geekdom panel, then a talk by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. That night I stayed in my room and posted pictures of my loot. On Sunday, I got to meet LeVar Burton! A historic blizzard was starting to hit Chicago, but I soldiered on to a Boyds Mills Press Luncheon, a talk on Young Children, New Media, and Libraries, and a program by Mick Ebeling on changing lives with technology. Monday morning, I got front row seats for the 2015 Youth Media Awards! And then later in the day was the presentation of the YALSA Excellence in Nonfiction and Morris Awards.

Here’s my summary of the great time I had at Midwinter, as well as some blizzard shots.

That was the first year I held a contest among my friends on Facebook as to who could guess how many books I’d bring home. The total ended up being 101 books, and the prize – a book! – went to my cousin’s wife, Marcy Bates.

Still most of my pictures are out my windows or by my lake. Here’s a sunrise I woke up to in February, from my bedroom window.

Here’s a “great day” from my Five-Year Journal on February 8:

A great day! A powerful sermon on Phil. 4:4-9, good talks with people, Home Fellowship at my house, digging deep, Dominion with the Longs & John, and then The Imitation Game with John. Finally, an 8th grade teacher told me about the prime factorization project his students made.

That prime factorization project took my post about my prime factorization sweater and had the kids figure out the pattern – and then create their own prime factorization chart. I was totally jazzed to learn about this!

And we got an extra long weekend with a Snow Day on the 17th, the day after President’s Day.

More snow the next weekend, so even church was snowed out.

I made a snow angel!

And don’t tell – but I walked out onto the frozen lake! (Only to where I’d seen the heron wade. I’m not stupid.)

Yet more snow! (In case you haven’t figured it out, I love snow!)

And I bought myself a new cozy red bathrobe!

On the last day of February, I held my first Family Math Games at the Library! I began the collection with board games and card games my own kids had outgrown, but purchased some more with money from the Friends of the Library. The idea is to have parents play with their kids – I firmly believe that’s the very best way to learn math skills. And it worked! Parents were happily playing with their kids! I’ve continued to run this program once a month since then – and it continues to be a huge success.

And March brought Dr. Seuss’s birthday, and our library’s first annual Seussathon – getting customers to volunteer to read Dr. Seuss books all day long in the children’s area. Schools were closed for snow, so we were extra crowded.

We got yet more snow days in early March.

We also got some robins, though!

Yes, it was a wonderful winter for snow!

I wrote a post about where I was in my spiritual journey. God was still working in my heart. And another post about not being alone. And another post about gratitude and contentment. And a Psalm-Lament about looking for love. And a Psalm of Thanksgiving.

And that year, instead of plain ordinary Pi Day, we had Super Pi Day! It was 03.14.15! Yay! So of course we did a library program. (And that year a friend emailed me at 9:26. Yes, that’s the spirit!)

I made a Pi Pie:

And wore all my mathematical regalia:

These were my favorite customers of the day, the whole family wearing Pi t-shirts:

And – It’s getting late! I’m going to have to do yet another part to cover Springtime.

It’s time for Project 52, Week 50!

50 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 50 — June 14, 2014, to June 14, 2015.

This week, I’ve already covered the 75th Annual Bates Family Reunion, Fabulous Friends at Fifty, and Herons and Egrets Around My Beautiful Lake, and I’ve only covered through the beginning of November.

At this time, I was enjoying my work at the library, but still hoping for the Youth Material Selector position. I found out on November 18 – more than six weeks after my second interview, and almost a year after the position had come open – that I had not gotten the job. Fortunately, I was enjoying my current job. It’s probably better for me in the long run – a whole lot more variety and more work directly with the public. But I can still follow the new children’s books. All the same, at the time this news was a blow.

Meanwhile, we did some marshmallow flinging (and measuring the distances they traveled) in Crazy 8s Math Club – just to remind me I do have an awesome job.

I got contacted by my first scammer via OKCupid. No, he never asked me for money. But we were emailing, and he didn’t want to meet, and I realized I didn’t want to exchange endearments with someone I didn’t even know. He didn’t speak good English, and said some amusing things like, “If you were here, I would kiss you in the head.” But when I wasn’t buying it, he stopped emailing. Annoying and discouraging. Months later, another scammer started emailing me. I’m embarrassed that it wasn’t until a friend expressed skepticism about the guy’s claimed military background that I thought to google his description of himself – and found the military bio that he’d copied from!

Google is your friend in finding scammers, by the way! You can also do a reverse image search with the picture. In this way, I discovered that the picture of that good-looking man was actually the picture of a male model whose name was not the same as the one on the profile.

Of course, if they fail at basic math in the tragic story of their wife’s death and the grandson in Paris who would have to have been born when the son they told you about was 12 years old – well, they shouldn’t be trying to scam a math major!

It was all very discouraging. Eventually, I decided that I lucked out with meeting my ex-boyfriend John and making four additional friends because of meeting him.

I’m a hard one to match by online dating. My Christian faith is very important to me – but I have some nontraditional views, that God will eventually save everyone. And I’m politically liberal, but I prefer evangelical worship services and believe that God will give you guidance about your everyday life – and want to find a man who’s seeking to please God in his everyday life. I have two Master’s degrees, which could be intimidating, and I have a weakness for men who can write an articulate sentence.

I think I did stay online for most of the rest of the year I was 50. But eventually, when the scammers started getting me angry (One said he loved my enthusiasm. Well, I am enthusiastic. How dare he pretend to genuinely appreciate me when he was only planning to use me?) – I decided to take a break. Now it doesn’t seem fair to start dating someone right before I start reading for the Newbery committee – so I will rethink things after that finishes. But for now, I still have prayer!

At the time, I was again reading for the Cybils Awards. It’s always fun to get boxes of books in the mail!

Our system hosted author Jennifer Holm at an event at the government center, and I got to usher.

And I simply didn’t get tired of my lake and all the life it sustained.

On December 4th, I went to another Christian concert with Mabel, featuring Casting Crowns, Mandisa, and Sidewalk Prophets. It was inspiring! I especially love Casting Crowns’ song “Thrive.” I was thriving!

Here are some fun pictures from our staff Christmas party. The game we played each year was that if you got someone to say the word “Yes,” you could take their beads. I was into it that year!

Here I am with my friends Paul, James, and Lynne. (Alas! None of them still work at Fairfax!)

And the whole group!

Then came our Small Group Christmas party:

George and Nancy:

Evie and Rob:

Debbie and Ray:

Renee and Erik:

On Christmas Day itself, I had a lovely cozy morning with Tim:

The sky was extra beautiful on Christmas Day that year.

We finished up Christmas Day with dinner at Darlene’s house and taught them how to play Splendor!

I enjoyed stalking the heron lots more that weekend!

By the end of the year, we’d made our Cybils short list. That year our Finalists were: Greenglass House, The Castle Behind Thorns, The Jupiter Pirates, The Boys of Blur, Nuts to You, The Swallow, and The Luck Uglies.

And we finished out the year with a party with church folks at the Sallees’

And that brings me to the end of 2014! I’m making slow progress with Year 50, but it was a big year!

It’s time for Project 52, Week 50!

50 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 50 — June 14, 2014, to June 14, 2015.

This week I’ve already covered the 75th Annual Bates Family Reunion and a Being 50 Celebration with my childhood friends.

Ruth flew back home on October 4th. I’d purchased a 5-year Journal on September 30th at the Library of Congress, so now I have a paragraph on each day to refer to. The night before Ruth went back to California, I wrote that the time with Darlene and Ruth had been soul-feeding.

I got back into my routine. I was playing games with the group of hard-core gamers including my friend Paul on Friday nights and playing mostly Dominion with a more social group, including my ex-boyfriend John, on Sunday afternoons.

And a small group from church began meeting at my house! This made me happy. When I moved close to the church, I was hoping that I could host a small group. But I don’t have enough room for kids. And I’d tried doing a women’s group on Tuesday nights, but that’s not really a great time for a lot of women.

Anyway, I found a group that was meeting at the church office after church on Sunday. I attended there one time, and then said, Why don’t you come to my house? They’re doing the same thing they did when meeting at the church office – getting some fast food before they come over. It’s mostly people who live a little further from the church and don’t want to make a second trip during the week. I still host this group, and they’ve come to mean a lot to me.

I was still walking by my lake, especially on weekends and the days I worked the late shift. Still delighting in the great blue heron and the great white egret.

On October 11th, I went to a Michael W. Smith concert and took my friend Mabel. As soon as I heard the song “Sovereign Over Us,” I ordered the CD, and I’ve still got that CD on shuffle in my CD player. I believe that God orders our steps, and He is good. So when I heard Michael W. Smith was coming to town, I got tickets. Okay, I was hoping to find a man to go with me. (I had tried subscribing to Christianmingle for awhile, as well as OKCupid – but no luck.) So I asked my single friend from my previous small group, Mabel.

That was Columbus Day weekend, which meant more walks around my lake. The fall color was starting, too.

These next pictures are notable. I was sitting eating breakfast and looking out my window on October 15, as I do. And the great blue heron flew onto the pinnacle of the building across from me – and the very next moment a storm started, suddenly pouring rain.

It was pouring! Even the heron started looking wet!

Autumn continued, and I continued taking walks and pictures.

On October 20, I found out I was a Cybils Panelist! This was a late start. They had originally chosen someone else, but asked me to step in when one person dropped out. So I was judging first round Middle Grade Fantasy and Science Fiction again.

I also had started doing Crazy 8s Math Club on Monday afternoons. It’s sponsored by Bedtime Math. They send all the supplies and instructions for an after-school math club – doing silly activities that loosely relate to math! In 2017, I just finished my fifth season, and I love doing it. A way to show kids how much fun math is! I love doing it at the library, where I don’t have to test anyone.

And I kept going for walks and loving it.

And on November 1st, I finished knitting my Prime Factorization Cardigan! I explained the math on my blog, with a link later on Sonderknitting.

But it got cooler! On November 6, Bedtime Math featured my prime factorization cardigan! And the next day, my website got 1768 hits!

And that’s all I have time for tonight. I think you can tell that even though I enjoyed my travels, I was still thrilled with my home by the lake.

It’s time for Project 52, Week 50!

50 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 50 — June 14, 2014, to June 14, 2015.

I was still enjoying amazing views out my window as I ate breakfast each morning.

Last time, I covered turning 50 and the big 75th Annual Bates Family Reunion in the summer. But I still had some celebrating to do!

I was a year ahead in school, but so was Darlene – one of my best friends since 3rd grade – and she was even younger than me. Our friend Ruth – one of my best friends since 7th grade – was also young for the grade. There are two weeks each year – from Darlene’s birthday on September 22 to Ruth’s birthday on October 11 – when we are all three the same age. So Ruth came out from California to visit Darlene and me in Virginia during the time we all three were 50 years old, and we celebrated!

On the morning of September 26, I had an in-person interview for Youth Materials Selector – and then we drove off to Shenandoah National Park. We were going to spend a night in a cabin in the Shenandoah Valley.

We found a hike to a waterfall.

Back on Skyline Drive, we saw some deer!

The next morning, we had a lovely view of colored hills.

We went back into Shenandoah National Park.

The colors were even more vibrant that second day.

We next took a hike to Dark Hollow Falls

Back out onto Skyline Drive. We saw a bear, but I didn’t get its picture.

We began playing with sunset pictures.

We spent another night in Shenandoah. On the way home the next day, we visited Shenandoah Caverns.

After we got back, we did day trips. First up was Mount Vernon, and we brought along Darlene’s adorable children, Ryan and Michelle.

Michelle’s a gymnast.

The next day, September 30, we went into DC. We visited the Capitol first.

And then the Library of Congress.

We wound up at the Botanical Gardens.

Ruth does love orchids!

The next day, October 1st, we went to Great Falls and hiked along the top of the gorge. Ruth likes climbing on rocks, so she especially enjoyed it!

Finally, on Ruth’s last day in town, I took her hiking at Manassas Battlefield Park before her afternoon flight back to California.

And – that was our lovely and wonderful celebration of turning fifty together! It really was a fabulous way to start a new decade – with friends who have been there for me for the majority of my life!

It’s time for Project 52, Week 50!

Okay, really, it’s one day early – but that’s something a day off is good for!

One day less than 50 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 50 — June 14, 2014, to June 14, 2015.

Last time, I talked about how I signed up for online dating and dated someone for two months. It was nice to have romance in my life again!

But it also felt good to break up with someone, in a strange sort of way. It affirmed that I don’t want to get into a relationship that doesn’t enhance my life and my walk with God. I’d love to have romance in my life – but there are other things that are more important. And I’m glad to know that. What’s more, it affirmed that I’m happy with my life! I don’t need a relationship to be happy, even though I’d love to find someone to share the joys of life with.

The verse I felt like God was giving me at that time was Isaiah 43:18-19 —

Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up,
do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.

And it was great to enter my 50s! You might have noticed in reading Project 52, but my marital troubles began when I turned 40. Now I was done! What’s more, as it happened, I had my last three menstrual cycles in the two months before I turned 50 – and no more ever again. And, as I’d hoped for years – having read that 80% of women with common migraines lose them at menopause – my migraines got dramatically better. I stayed on Zoloft (the only preventative that ever worked well for me) for several more months, but when I stopped – my migraines didn’t come back! It is glorious!

Anyway, my 50th birthday fell on a Saturday, so I just had to throw myself a party. I invited all my friends, though not a lot could come, but that was because on the second Saturday in June, a whole lot of people had other plans. But some friends did come and we had pizza and cake and played games and I had just a lovely day.

Oh, and Tim wasn’t at my birthday party because he was in Prague! He’d gotten into a summer Study Abroad program with William & Mary, and had just left a few days before my birthday. Jade (then called Josh) was in Portland, Oregon, and was working as a programmer. So I was happy for my kids, too.

And looking at old emails – it looks like this was when I started exchanging daily emails with my cousin (actually my mother’s cousin, but much closer to my age) Sheryl. She sent me a Happy Half a Century email, and I answered, and she answered – and almost three years later, we’re still emailing almost every day.

But it’s clear from my journal that the new thing I was *most* hoping for at that time was a new job. The December before, the Youth Material Selector position for Fairfax County Public Library had come open – and I wanted that position. When I was at Sembach Base Library, my favorite thing to do was order books. But I was disappointed when I came to Fairfax that only one person ordered the books for the whole system. Then I learned she was due to retire. When she did, I waited eagerly for the job announcement, which took months to happen. I see from my journals that I got my application in that July.

I’ll summarize now what ended up happening, sloooooowly. I had a phone interview and did well. Then I got an in-person interview in late September – and didn’t find out until a month later that I had not gotten the job.

That was a blow, because I’d been wanting the job for months. I’ve come to peace about it. One path to peace is that I got to help out at TechOps for a few hours a week a few months after that. And – I get so absorbed in the work, I forget to take breaks and get headaches.

In my current job, I can still keep up with what’s new in children’s books – and I have an opportunity to pass that on to library patrons. I get to use the books in storytimes, in programs and in booktalks. And now, I’m on the Newbery committee. I’ve got a whole lot more variety in my job, and I do like it that way. On top of that, Fairfax County Public Library buys so many of the newly published books – it’s not like there are ones I want to read that she leaves out.

So anyway, that was very much on my mind the entire year I was 50 – first hoping for the job, then coming to terms with the fact I hadn’t gotten my “dream job” – but what do you know, I do love the job I have.

But the big event of the summer was going to Oregon in honor of the 75th Annual Bates Family Reunion.

My great-grandmother Bates started the reunions the year my grandpa, her oldest son of ten kids, got married and moved out. My Mom was his oldest child, and I’m the third oldest – so most of my Mom’s cousins are closer to my age than hers. Anyway, 2014 was the 75th Reunion, and with Josh living in Portland, I was extra motivated to go! Besides, in the previous three years, the youngest third of my siblings – Peter, Robert, Marcy, and Melanie – had all moved to Portland! And Robert and Marcy had both had little daughters, so I’d get to see my nieces, too.

Tim and I stayed at Marcy and John’s house, so we got to enjoy getting to know Alyssa.

I especially loved watching Tim fall for Alyssa.

And we went to see Robert and Laura and little Arianna as well.

My little brother makes a great Dad!

And back at Alyssa’s house – and a playground – to finish the day.

I wanted to go to the Oregon coast while I was there, and I brought Tim with me. We had a wonderful day hiking.

We got back in time for Alyssa’s bedtime.

And the next day, Arianna came over to visit Alyssa.

We went to Robert and Laura’s house, and my parents had arrived – and we all went to the pool. My Mom was still capable of enjoying the little girls.

Marcy was awfully cute, too!

That night was the pre-Reunion at a pizza place.

And the next day – the 75th annual Bates Family Reunion!

The squares in this picture represent descendants of my great-grandparents. My grandpa’s descendants are the first TWO pages of the chart. And remember – this is only one-fourth of the people I’m related to. My grandfather was the oldest of ten siblings, eight of whom grew to adulthood.

With my kids!

My Uncle Allen and his new wife Jeanne. They were on their honeymoon!

Robert and Arianna:

A bunch of people related to me eating:

Arianna’s hair was so adorable!

Playing ball with toddlers:

My Grandpa’s siblings are people who like to laugh!

Toddler Ball was getting more laid back.

Here are all the descendants of my Grandpa who were there, plus spouses.

Mom always did enjoy Reunion! I think it was hard for her aunts and uncles to see her like this (with Alzheimer’s), but I think she did have a good time. I’m afraid it was comforting for me to see them still sharp as tacks. It doesn’t seem to be hereditary. I hope.

Aunt Donna!

Robert and Laura and Arianna:

And we sisters started getting silly.

Here’s a Second Generation picture – my Mom and her siblings and cousins who were there, with their spouses:

The Third Generation. I’m by far the oldest of those who were there, my siblings and second cousins:

And the Fourth Generation isn’t nearly so large. Those who were there were Josh, Tim, Alyssa, Arianna, and one baby third cousin of theirs. Anyway, when we attended Reunion in 1989, Josh was the only member of the Fourth Generation there, and Josh was actually the second member of the Fourth Generation to be born. (My sister Becky’s son Jason is the oldest member of the Fourth Generation, and Josh the second.)

I had a whole bunch of fun looking through the Reunion albums. It turns out, I attended Reunion most of the first ten years or so of my life.

This picture of my Mom and her brother Allen was especially sweet.

And it was fun finding my family! I hadn’t even realized how many Reunions I’d been to. Here we are when I was 5. (I can tell how old I was by how many kids there are.)

I think Josh and Tim got bored while I was looking through the albums. But it still made my heart happy to see them walking and talking together.

And after Reunion, we drove back to Portland, and I took Josh and their partner Sunny and my brother Peter (who rooms with Josh) out to eat at their favorite vegan restaurant. There was really wonderful food there, but a fairly long wait. They would call us on a phone when a table was ready – and we went walking among the rose gardens of Portland! It was simply lovely.

I love being with my kids!

There was a little time left for more fun with my sweet little nieces and my siblings.

So it was such a lovely trip!

During that summer, after his Prague trip, Tim had done some intern work in the Virginia Room, but not long after we got back from Oregon, it was time to take him back to school.

In September, I had my phone interview for Youth Materials Selector.

And at home, a great white egret started joining the great blue heron on the lake. (You can probably tell I love my lake! I still get a thrill every time I see these beautiful birds.)

And that’s enough for tonight! (So much for finishing on my day off!) Next time, I’ll talk about celebrating being 50 with my best friends Ruth and Darlene!

It’s time for Project 52, Week 49!

49 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 49 — June 14, 2013, to June 14, 2014.

This week, I’ve already talked about steps in healing, as well as enjoying my first autumn and winter in my new home.

In reading my emails from that time, I’m struck by how much Steve was still on my mind. But I was sloooooooowly getting used to the idea of dating. I decided I’d sign up for online dating in the Spring.

Now, I’d told my kids long before that I wouldn’t even date until after Steve remarried. So I thought I should feel out how my kids would feel about it if I started dating.

I brought it up while Tim and I were having dinner in Williamsburg when I went to pick him up at Christmas break.

Tim was fine with it and then said, oh, he hadn’t know how to tell me this or if he should tell me this, but Steve had a girlfriend and had since about the summer before.
 
My first reaction was to be happy for Steve.  And I was SO proud of myself for that!
 
But the reaction that built up after that was thinking about Steve and romance – and I missed him.  Sad and wistful.  Remembering the good times.  Sad that it worked out like it did.  And just, doggone it, missing him.
 
But I had a good cry, not even a very big one, and that, actually, was about all it took to feel better.

So one more thing, and it confirmed that thinking about dating was a good idea.

Jade (then called Josh) also didn’t have a problem with it. In fact, I was excited for Josh at that time – they’d landed a salaried job as a programmer! Yay! Gainfully employed! (They’d been working temp jobs for awhile.) In fact, eventually my brother Peter, my sister Melanie, and my brother-in-law John all started working for the same company. But Josh was there first. (And this was a job in Portland, Oregon, where they’d been living a couple years.)

Tim and I had a quiet Christmas at home and Christmas dinner (and games) with Darlene’s family. And then we headed out to see family and friends in California for New Year’s.

I was staying at my sister Becky’s house. Friday the 3rd of January was the 27th anniversary of my wedding day, and I was going to spend it with my long-time friend Ruth – and get my ears pierced!

I figured better late than never! And it felt symbolic of my new life. I could buy myself earrings, and that would be something Steve had never bought for me.

We went to the mall – and got my ears pierced! Ruth bought me some lovely earrings and we had a great time together.

Ruth had recently bought her own condo, and here we are out on her patio:

The next day, I went to my parents’ house and played some games.

Here are my parents:

My sister Abby:

My brothers and Tim:

On the 5th, I went with Becky’s family to the Getty villa in Malibu on the way to meet Megan at Pepperdine.

We are inevitably silly together.

The statue looks like someone to be thoughtful with.

Kristen and Michael walking in the lovely corridor.

Here’s Michael, Becky, Jason, and Kristen:

Becky and I ALWAYS enjoy being silly together!

Tim and his cousins!

Becky and her girls, Megan and Kristen:

The next day I drove north of the city to visit my high school friend Susan and her husband Randy and their son.

On that trip I also got to see my long-time friend Lauri Ann and her husband Len, but I didn’t take pictures.

And then I got to meet my little niece Alyssa! And see her parents, Marcy and John, who hadn’t moved to Portland yet.

On my last day at Becky’s, Kristen and I posed because we agree that the coolest people are five foot two.

Becky picked up Mom (as she’d often do to give Dad a break), and we sang hymns together!

When I got home, during the month of January, while my small group was taking a break, I went to Paul’s Friday night gaming group instead of the Saturday group at the store. They’re hardcore Euro gamers, and I really enjoyed doing that.

I kept going to the Maulellas’ small group in Herndon through March, but I was now farther away from the group and liking the idea of Friday night gaming. I’d hoped when I moved closer to church that I could start having a small group at my house. I proposed a women’s group – but only found one person to do it with me. So that Spring, Vicki and I met on Tuesday nights at my house doing a study of Psalms. But we only lasted that one quarter.

We got some good snow that winter! But first, here’s some wonderful Red Sky at Morning out my bedroom window before the storm.

Snow did follow.

And by the end of January, I had made a profile on eHarmony. I activated it, and they started sending me “matches.” But with eHarmony, I got no signs of interest at all. And they sent me more matches each day – and they were quickly from farther and farther away. So now I was doing it, I wasn’t terribly impressed with online dating.

But – before I made an online profile, I gave several of my friends these instructions: “If I ever in the future am tempted to take Steve back [not that I ever think he’d want to], I want you to look me in the eye and say, ‘Sondy, he had a plan to kill you.'”

I wanted to be absolutely sure that in the back of my mind I wasn’t pining after Steve. That just didn’t seem fair to any new date. By signing up for online dating, I was closing that door for good. And, come to think of it, he once had a plan to kill me. Choosing not to ever get back together with him – no matter what he should say – did seem like the wisest course of action.

In early February, we got ice and more snow. When the trees look like this, I have NO interest in driving!

And I finished my Pascal’s Triangle Shawl! I explain the math on my Sonderknitting page.

Here’s a picture with the earrings Ruth gave me, which I could wear now that my ears had been pierced for six weeks.

We got a lovely snow dump around Valentine’s Day.

Lots more pretty snow moments that winter:

By the middle of March, I decided to switch to OKCupid from eHarmony. (I also tried Christian Mingle, which had some interesting profiles, but unless they have a paid membership, they can’t read their emails. I didn’t have much luck with them.) I liked OKCupid better than eHarmony, because YOU determine the questions. It’s not a “patented match formula” that’s left mysterious. You know what questions they answered which way.

And – by the end of March I had two dates!

I’d set up the first date – and then realized that of course “LDS” meant Mormon. I told him I couldn’t see myself getting in a relationship with him – I wanted to be in harmony spiritually – but he seemed like a nice guy, so I asked if he still wanted to have the date. And I told him it was my first date with someone other than my ex-husband in 30 years. (I had very much wanted to go out with someone before the 30-year anniversary of our first date in May. I did achieve that goal!)

The date with the Mormon man was nice. We had dinner and then went to see the movie Divergent. But even besides him being a Mormon, things didn’t quite click for me. He talked about going to folk festivals (not necessarily an introvert’s first choice of activity), and his idea of gaming was playing Mille Bornes. Which is fun, but not quite like Euro games.

But he worked hard to be romantic. He brought me candy, and was lavish with compliments. (A little too lavish, actually. We didn’t know each other yet.) It would have been easy to have my head turned.

But I had a date with someone else within a week! The guy, John, had more Master’s degrees than I did (3) and was working on his PhD and attended an “emergent” church, which sounded promising. We exchanged some fun emails before meeting for tea at the Starbucks near my house.

The day we were going to meet, some workers were randomly blocking my garage with a crane! Fortunately, the Starbucks was in walking distance. We met and talked for 3 hours!

I liked very much that he brought a book to the meeting in case I’d be late! (I was there first, actually.)

So it was all very promising. The following Sunday, I got a call from John. He asked if I wanted to come play games with some friends of his. When I asked what game, he said it was hard to describe.

Well, when I got there, they had Dominion, my very favorite game, all set up to play! I was hooked – both on John and on that group of his friends. (Mainly two couples attend the group, both with two kids. They’re friends of John’s from when he was in grad school and they were in college. I like them very much!)

And – I dated John for two months, and it was lovely while it lasted. Why don’t I post some spring blossom pictures here to represent how nice it was to be in a relationship again!

I went to Meadowlark Gardens that year with John – but was holding hands and didn’t take any pictures!

However, I made my annual Bluebell Trail pilgrimage on my own – so took the usual lovely pictures.

Dating John was lovely – but some mismatches started showing up.

I feel compelled to say that in the 2 months I was dating John, I had my last three menstrual cycles. Yes, that is really close together – basically my hormones were wacked out – and that did not help my emotional stability!

Anyway, on June 1st, I decided it was time to break up with him. At the time, I thought it was my decision, but the truth is, he didn’t argue one little bit. I think it was basically mutual.

After I broke up with him, I called Paul, who knew it was a possibility that day, and Paul drove the hour to my house. He hugged me while I did some crying, and then we played some two-player games. That was when I knew Paul was a True Friend.

I did do some more negotiating with John. I was annoyed when I realized that I’d just gotten out of my life the one single friend I had – someone to go to movies with! Plus, I just loved his friends – the ones I saw in the gaming group. We agreed that we would still be friends. The gaming group said they were happy to keep me in the group. And over the three years, John and I have done things together now and then like movies or dinner.

I considered the whole experience a big win for online dating. Because I gained not one friend, but five friends. And a new gaming group for Sunday afternoons.

I think John and I are wonderfully suited – as friends. As a couple? Not so much. I’ve watched him in the past three years, and I think there are too many mismatches we’d have to overcome. (The last-minute planning being a HUGE one!) But I do enjoy his company and can, literally, listen to him talk for hours.

But back in 2014, it was rather a sad way to start the month when I would turn 50. All the same, I was a little proud of myself. I had never broken up with someone before. John was my first boyfriend other than Steve. So it felt rather good to evaluate things and make the choice that this wasn’t for me. One more little step in my healing, I think.

And – my 50th birthday was on a Saturday! That really does call for a party. After I broke up with John, I decided the absolutely right thing to do was to throw myself a birthday party. I was so ready for a new decade!

It’s time for Project 52, Week 49!

49 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 49 — June 14, 2013, to June 14, 2014.

In Part One, I covered ALA Annual Conference and talked about the steps I took toward healing that year.

That summer, I was still doing lots of walking and enjoying the great blue heron who hung out at my lake. I was extra excited in August when a great white heron (also called a great egret) joined the great blue heron!

I scared the egret to the other side of the lake, where it posed by the fountain.

I love the way the flowers by my lake seem to change every week. These ones reminded me very much of ones we used to have by our home in Gundersweiler, Germany.

And I used to see so many bunnies!

And I finished the Prime Factorization Blanket for my niece, Arianna!

I explain the details on my blog. Each color represents a prime factor, and it shows the prime factorization of all the numbers from 2 to 100.

Unfortunately, I had a 3-week migraine in August. A lot of it was “just” a vestibular migraine, which isn’t as painful. But it shook me up. I finally went in to the E.R. a couple different times to get rid of it.

And then Tim went back for his second year at William and Mary. I always enjoyed the trips to drop him off and pick him up. We’d have dinner at the wonderful sandwich shop, often sitting outdoors. I’d buy some Gin-Gins (spicy ginger candy) and fudge from the candy shop. Then came the lonely drive home and getting used to my Empty Nest again.

More walks around the lake. These pictures are from late September.

But in September, I had a 30-day migraine. And it got very bad, and it was centered in my neck, on the right side. Finally, the E.R. didn’t hesitate and admitted me and ordered an MRA and MRI of my neck. It actually soothed my fears, though – because my right vertebral artery was doing better than before. Didn’t help my headache, though! But at least I wasn’t afraid I was going to have another stroke.

That was when I finally went back on Zoloft – the only preventative that ever worked well for me. I had lost faith in it, because it didn’t work on the vertebral artery dissection, but when I went back on it this time, it really did help.

Autumn was glorious by my lake.

The tree out my office window glowed when the sun hit it.

That’s fun. October was when an article came out about my Dad and his brother – still working at 75 and 85 years old.

And November 29, 2013, was the first time I saw geese walking on the frozen lake. (Not the last.) Something about it cracked me up.

And in early December, we got our first snow of the winter. It was lovely to live in a condo where a service takes care of the roads and to have an attached garage! Also lovely to get to sit in my house and look out at the snow in the treetops.

But ice came first. When the trees look like this, my plan is NOT to drive!

That was December 9. On December 10, I got a snow day, and did go out in it to enjoy it.

I caught some birds out my window on the snowy branches.

I laughed when I saw the melting snow sagging off the branch.

At work, a group didn’t bring in their display, so my co-worker and I filled the display with Book Spine Poetry. It was really fun, once you started looking at book titles with poetry in mind.

Here’s one that feels subversive:

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
Monsters Eat Whiny Children

I’m afraid my favorite poem was autobiographical:

In case you can’t read the titles, they say:

The Liar in Your Life
Lies! Lies!! LIES!!!
Deep Deception 2
Pack of Lies
“I Love You But I Don’t Trust You”
You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore
Breaking Free
Free from Lies
It’s My Life Now

Yes! With another sign that I was slowly healing, I’m going to stop for tonight.

It’s time for Project 52, Week 49!

49 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 49 — June 14, 2013, to June 14, 2014.

I covered my 49th birthday last time, and talked about buying my lovely home by a lake. I’d started walking regularly, and was regaining my fitness level after my stroke two years before.

Once again, the first big event of the year was a trip to ALA Annual Conference. This year, it was happening in Chicago. There was a preconference on Friday celebrating 75 years of the Caldecott Medal, happening at the Art Institute of Chicago.

I went to a reception there the first night I arrived. I loved Paul Zelinsky’s Z Is for Moose shirt!

And here are the wonderful speakers for the preconference:

Top row: Chris Raschka, Paul Zelinsky, Leonard Marcus, Marla Frazee, Brian Selznick, and Kadir Nelson

Front row: Peter Brown, Pam Zagarenski, Melissa Sweet, Erin Stead, and her husband, Philip C. Stead.

And from the side:

On the day of the preconference, Paul Zelinsky had more Caldecott clothing – this time a tie he’d painted with the actual paints he used on his Caldecott Medal winning book Rapunzel.

It was an awesome Preconference, which I posted all about.

Here’s the inevitable First Night Loot picture, from the famed Running of the Librarians:

Lots of great programs happened on Saturday, and I got to meet Elizabeth Wein!

Highlights from Sunday included hearing Temple Grandin speak.

And lunch with Rebecca Kai Dotlich, Nikki Grimes, and Kiera Parrot.

It was the 75th year of the Caldecott Medal, so the Newbery/Caldecott/Wilder Banquet was dominated by Caldecott décor and clever Caldecott costumes.

Roxanne and Monica honored Black and White, by David Macauley.

I loved this Jumanji:

My neighbor at dinner had this lovely rendition of Why Mosquitoes Buzz in People’s Ears:

It was a wonderful night, as always!

Even the dessert had a 75th Caldecott theme!

There was more fun on Monday, capping off with the Printz Reception, when I again got to meet Elizabeth Wein.

Another wonderful conference!

When I got back home – more walking by the lake! Can I resist posting a million pictures?

It was now a year since I’d last seen Steve. All year I’d been thinking about stopping “waiting” for Steve. But it was all theoretical – until I found myself attracted to a man. A newly-divorced coworker.

So that got me thinking much harder. All this time, since I got married in 1987, I hadn’t let myself be attracted to anyone. When I was married, it wasn’t a problem – I was in love with my husband, so other men weren’t really on my radar. Then while I was “standing for my marriage,” I was carefully staying away from men.

In fact, I was mad at men in general. After reading The Script and meeting a lot of women who’d been cheated on – I was starting to think I could never trust a divorced man. It didn’t help that I worked in a library, with very few male co-workers.

So – part of my healing was letting myself get a crush on someone.

But first I had to actually let go of “standing for my marriage,” actually stop hoping Steve would come back to me.

And just at the crucial time, when I was thinking hard about that, Pastor Ed preached a sermon on “Plan B Living.”

I was afraid that this would make me feel like I didn’t have enough faith.

But instead, he drew a diagram on a chalkboard. He had a long line demonstrating the “Human Activity Spectrum.” On one end was “Control” and “Legalism.” This was “Plan B Living,” and is all about striving and making things happen. On the other end was “Just letting things happen” and “Planless Surrender.”

In the middle? That’s the sweet spot, the Path of Trust.

And – it finally dawned on me that “standing for my marriage” was not trusting God. It was Plan B living, with the prayer, “If only you, God, will baptize my plan.”

Here’s how I summarized my thinking in an email to Lisa Maulella, my small group leader’s wife.

Saying that “Standing” for your marriage is always the right response to divorce is Legalism — and that’s why it appeals to me so much!  In my mind, I don’t think God requires the same thing of everyone.  But I wanted to regain my status as a spiritual person — we all know a divorced person isn’t spiritual, after all!  (I told you I love legalism.)  But if I can just grit my teeth and pray and believe and “stand” — well then I can take control of the situation again.
 
So giving that up feels like more in the direction of trust than holding onto it.
 
Mind you, I’m not getting married any time soon!  🙂
 
But this was a big deal for me.  Just to decide in my mind that God is not asking me to “stand” for my marriage.
 
God still might bring Steve back.  In fact, I think He basically promised me that Steve will repent one day.  But it’s not going to be because I took control of the situation (Ha!) and fasted and prayed.  And he may do much much better walking with God with some other woman by his side.  It’s not like I mean to stop praying for him.  Just that I am rejecting the idea that if I ever marry anyone else, it would be adultery.  That I need to in any sense consider myself still married to him.

Now, most local people will know exactly who I had my small crush on, so I won’t be secretive. It was my friend Paul, who was then working part-time at the Fairfax library with me.

And just last Sunday, I had the chance to attend Paul’s wedding! That was nice coming right at the time I was thinking about writing this week’s post and about how Paul turned out to be my best friend the year I was 49.

When I say “best friend,” he didn’t usurp my lifetime best friends. But that year, he was the person I talked to most and I saw him at work. And he’s one of those rare creatures – a man who answers emails! And he’s a writer, so he can write an articulate sentence. We got into some great email conversations.

I soon found out that he was in a long-distance relationship. And as I got to know him, it was pretty clear we weren’t looking for the same thing.

But still, being willing to let myself indulge in a little crush on someone was a big step in my getting over Steve.

Paul also arranged some Games Nights with another (much younger) co-worker, James. And then Paul encouraged me to go to a gaming group that met on Saturdays in Fairfax a block from the library. The first time I went, Paul met me there, and considerately played the games I was interested in playing.

I’d never in my life needed to attend a gaming group. Growing up, there were always plenty of siblings to play games with. And then I’d brought my kids up playing games. But that was one of the hard things about the Empty Nest.

By the next Spring, Paul let me join the invitational Friday night gaming group that met at his house alternating with another guy’s house. It was limited to 8 people, and one was moving away, so he said I could join. I was ready to find a new small group, because I was living further away from the group that met in Herndon now. So I started gaming on Friday nights.

And it really felt good to be with a bunch of guys playing games. (There was one other woman in the group, the wife of one of the men.) I felt like a math major again! And it really did help me get over that being-mad-at-men. And they were nerdy, smart guys – just like my Math Brothers in college.

Then when Paul’s long-distance relationship ended badly at the end of 2013, I was able to provide a listening ear to him.

And Paul and I both signed up for online dating at the same time, in February 2014. It was actually nice moral support to start the same time as a friend and discuss our experiences. By this time I’d figured out that we definitely were looking for different things in relationships – but we could still provide encouragement to each other. And after I found someone to date and had a boyfriend for 2 months – when I broke up with him, Paul came over, driving the hour to my house, and hugged me while I did some crying and then played some 2-player games with me. A man who will do this? That’s a true friend!

I simply can’t overstate how nice it was to have a man for a friend again. Now, we have a very different world view and we’re not suited to be a couple (and I’m super happy about his marriage last Sunday) – but it was good to have a male perspective. For that matter, it was great to have any friend who would answer a bunch of emails and talk about navigating life. Someone who had a little more time on his hands than my girlfriends who were busy with their families. As an introvert with an empty nest, emailing is exactly how I like to reach out.

So that was skipping ahead a bit. At the start of the summer, I was still just getting to know Paul and adding gaming into my life and really enjoying that. Still walking around the lake and enjoying the great blue heron sightings.

Here’s my building:

And Tim was 19 years old!

And it’s late! I need to stop for tonight…

It’s time for Project 52, Week 48!

48 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 48 — June 14, 2012, to June 14, 2013.

Last time, I covered through the summer. I’d brought my son to the dorm at the college of William and Mary, and I’d been hired as Youth Services Manager at the City of Fairfax Regional Library – the job I still hold today.

In September, I started meeting with a realtor and a mortgage broker (from church)! to look into purchasing my own home, now that I no longer needed to live in Fairfax County for the sake of Tim’s schooling. Fairfax County is too expensive for me – and I hoped to live closer to my church, Gateway Community Church in South Riding.

Also in September, I learned that third time’s the charm – the third time I’d applied, this year I’d been accepted to be a Cybils panelist! I was chosen to judge books for the first round of the Cybils Awards – Children’s and Young Adult Bloggers’ Awards – in the category of Middle Grade Fantasy and Science Fiction. So I would read as many books as I could in the months of September through December, and we would choose seven Finalists, to be announced on New Year’s Day.

Yay! I’d be required to do lots of reading! One thing I like about judging book awards is that you’re supposed to feel guilty when you’re not reading, instead of the other way around!

And I went to KidLitCon that year! It was happening in New York City!

Our speaker at dinner on Friday night was Grace Lin. She brought her adorable baby!

We met at the New York Public Library on Saturday. Of course I had to make a pilgrimage to see the original Winnie-the-Pooh and his friends.

I was also thrilled to see the lions, Patience and Fortitude.

I was happy to again have Lisa Song as my KidLitCon roommate. In fact, she found us a hotel in Brooklyn, and together we navigated the subway into the city, which saved us some money.

Pam Coughlan, Mother Reader, who also works for Fairfax County Public Library was “auctioning” some Advance Reader Copies she didn’t want. (On Friday, we’d gotten to do some publisher previews.)

Betsy Bird, of School Library Journal’s Fuse 8 blog, was the host.

And Maureen Johnson was a speaker.

On Sunday, I had a late flight, so I enjoyed walking around Central Park!

That Autumn was filled with things I didn’t take pictures of. I looked at homes. I read books for the Cybils.

In October, I went to the Virginia Library Association conference – happening in Williamsburg! So the lovely thing about that was that I was able to spend time with Tim. I also did a preconference with Soroj Ghoting about the new Every Child Ready to Read kit by ALSC. It’s for encouraging parents in reading, talking, writing, singing, and playing – in order to get their children ready to read when they get to school.

That November was when my little niece Alyssa was born, my sister Marcy’s daughter. And I knitted her a coded blessing blanket! Here’s the mathematical explanation.

And the next baby was expected by my brother Robert’s wife, but we didn’t yet know the baby’s gender. I began planning a prime factorization blanket for this baby.

Meanwhile, I was doing lots of praying, still, about Steve. I finally got to the place where I felt free to pray that Steve would come back to God – but not that he would come back to me. And people were starting to talk with me who were having marriage problems. And I was able to respond with so much more compassion than before my own marriage fell apart.

I like what I wrote in my Quiet Time journal on December 2nd. It summarizes the way I was thinking at this point.

Isaiah 7:9
“If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.”

Lord,
I was struck by that verse in the sermon today. Does that mean I should keep “standing” for my marriage the way Rejoice Ministries defines it?

I really thought You were telling me that my marriage would be healed. I had a whole dream of Steve coming back because of my self-sacrificing love.

But I do think You told me to offer my marriage to You, as Abraham offered Isaac, knowing that I could receive it back from death, if that is Your choice.

And after the divorce, I am sure You gave me the verse: “Steve is joined with idols; leave him alone!”

So where do I stand now? Well, if God brings Steve back, I still think God could work the miracle of making me love and trust him again.

But I do think it’s possible God will bring someone else into my life.

But I will not pursue that.

What have I learned?

— God loves me. So much. He made me with all my quirks and loves me for who I am, not in spite of who I am.

— I can’t control other people. Even telling them what they should think is not my place.

— Sometimes divorce is a good thing. This one comes hard, but I think it’s true.

— Forgiveness is so important.

Steve did not ruin my life, even though he wronged me deeply. Neither did Amy. And Steve gave me so much.

— God is good.

— Life is good.

Here’s a picture from the library Christmas party that year. I work with wonderful people!

In January, I made an offer on a townhouse-style condo in Manassas. And it was accepted! I was excited – it was a nice place. But the more I looked at it, the more I realized it was really awfully far from both work and church. But I thought that was the only place I could afford to buy something. At least it was a home!

Now there was a little problem with their FHA certification, but it was supposed to get recertified soon.

Well, instead, after the home inspection happened – the FHA financing fell through.

I was disappointed. Back to the old drawing board.

And then, at just the right time, this home where I live now came available.

One look out the window at the lake – and it felt like more than I imagined, God’s special gift to me.

Now, I have to mention that my Dad generously provided the down payment – and through Kyle Jessop’s company, I got a 2.75% interest rate on my mortgage loan! So low that it will never be a good idea to refinance, no matter how much I’d like some spare cash.

It was a good time to buy.

It was the start of new things.

And here’s what I wrote on March 22, 2013 after our regular Friday night small group meeting. (I’d been meeting with the Maulellas’ group for a few years now.)

Lord Jesus,
Thank You for speaking to me tonight.
It’s been an encouraging week.
I’m on the Newbery ballot!
I’m buying a beautiful home!
I’m doing Math programs at the library next week!

But – I also had that vestibular migraine happen, and it scared me. I became afraid and discouraged. Voices of discouragement rose up. That it’s arrogant to rejoice in God’s blessings. Who do I think I am?

As we were praying, I asked You to speak to me. I expected something quiet and private.

Instead, Terri Eagle said she tried to pray for other people whose needs she knew, but she kept getting an image for me – of a wilted flower, straightening up and standing tall. That it’s time for me to bloom.

To me.

Then Lee told me he had a verse for me, Psalm 40:1-3 —

“I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.”

And – the whole group prayed for me.
And one brother called me beautiful.
And I felt loved by You.

Whatever’s going on with my head, I will be okay.
You are making me bloom.
You’re giving me a new song.
You’re expanding my territory.
You’re giving me beauty for ashes.
You’re enlarging my tent.
The hills are bursting into song.

I still found time to do the Bluebell Walk at Bull Run before I moved! That year I was early, and was fascinated by all the buds.

And I had to take last pictures of the blossoms outside my door in Centreville.

And on April 19, 2013, I became a home owner!

And – Gateway folks came in a crowd to help me move in!

Here’s what I wrote in an email to a friend after Moving Day:

I’m really moved in!!!  On Saturday, TWENTY-FOUR people from my church showed up at various times to help me move in!  That includes 3 kids and 3 women, and 18 big strong men!  It was amazing!  I felt so cared for!  And then after church Sunday, three different ladies grabbed food at Panera and came over to eat it and enjoy the view.  I hope to do that often.
 
The lake view is so lovely!  I can just sit and stare at the lake from my balcony and my soul is fed!

It wasn’t long before I bought some balcony furniture and balcony flowers.

In May, I did get the very sad news that I had missed being elected to the Newbery committee by 15 votes! And it was already too late to nominate myself for the ballot the following year. But, spoiler alert: I was finally elected to the Newbery committee in 2017! And that’s a better time anyway, since my nest is even emptier. Makes the empty nest an asset instead of something to be sad about – all the more time to read!

I did say to a friend, “I am reminding myself that it took me 3 tries to get to attend the William Morris Seminar, 3 tries to get chosen as a Cybils judge, 3 tries to be Youth Services Manager, and 4 offers on houses — and all worked out for the best in the end.”

Indeed!

And – with my wonderful lake outside my window, I started walking, using a walking program in the book Walk Your Butt Off. And – I did lose weight, but even better was that I gained some energy and felt like I gained back some of the fitness I lost when I had my stroke two years before.

When the realtor showed me the home, she told me there was an “egret” who lived at the lake. She also told me a story that egrets mate for life, and when one dies, its mate stays where they last nested. Okay, that story is totally bogus. And we usually see great blue herons at the lake. (Sometimes a white egret.)

But the truth is – at least one great blue heron likes to frequent my lake, and right away I was thrilled every time I spotted him.

Here’s the very first time I got his picture on May 28. Spot his head poking up from the bushes?

When Tim got off for the summer, he enjoyed the balcony.

And then I finally captured some good shots of the heron. I actually saw the heron posing on the wall and ran back for my good camera.

I also loved the way the flowers by the lake seemed to change each week, always beautiful.

And my 49th birthday was extra special. I told about the Bluebird of Happiness on this blog.

In summary, my friend Lauri Ann sent me a birthday gift of this antique locket worn by Jo Stafford, the person who recorded “The Bluebird of Happiness.”

And on my birthday, after a Capitol Choices meeting, I went to Great Falls. And I discovered that flocks of great blue herons hang out there! So I decided that instead of a bluebird of happiness, I had a great blue heron of happiness!

I was taking all these things as signs of wonderful new beginnings.

I enjoyed tampering with this photo.

And this may have been the year Tim and I began our tradition of lighting candles using binary. Instead of lighting 49 candles (so many!), I lit them to show 11001, which is 49 in binary.

It was a Happy Birthday, and I was ready for new beginnings!

It’s time for Project 52, Week 48!

48 weeks ago, on my 52nd birthday, I began Project 52. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, each week I’m taking one year of my life and blogging about it. This week, I’m covering the year I was 48 — June 14, 2012, to June 14, 2013.

Last time, I covered Tim’s graduation from high school, our trip to California, and my Declaration of Independence after the last divorce case was finally done and the last child support check received and future checks in the hands of the Department of Defense.

That summer, I was still recovering from my stroke the year before, still not having much energy, and having lots of trouble with vestibular migraines and headaches.

But it also sounded like the Youth Services Manager position at my very own branch would maybe become open soon! Our current manager was applying to be an assistant branch manager at other branches.

And, now that Tim had graduated and I didn’t have to stay in Fairfax County in order for him to continue at his high school – I was wondering if it would be a good idea to try to buy a home.

But should I stay in Virginia? Well, Tim going to a state school was making that seem like a good idea for at least another four years. Though my oldest, Jade (then called Josh), was now in Portland, Oregon, and I did love Oregon.

And remember that I was currently an adult services librarian, not in youth services, which I loved so much. I wasn’t sure I shouldn’t be looking for a job elsewhere. And meanwhile, I was interviewing for a youth services manager position in Loudoun County. And all the time I had my eye on the Youth Materials Selector position for Fairfax County.

So I did a lot of praying.

And got a lovely answer to prayer about whether to buy a home on July 11, 2012. Now, Dear Reader, I knew this might all be my imagination. I wasn’t stopping praying with this answer. But it did encourage me to keep on – and looking back four years later, that was a fantastic thing to do.

Here’s what happened, from my quiet time journal:

Isaiah 54:2
“Sing!…
Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.”

Lord,
I was looking for a verse for today, trying to head for Psalms. And I was going to ask You if I really should buy a place.

Then my eyes fell on this verse.
I’m going to take that as a Yes, Lord!
Thank You!
If I’m wrong about that, show me.
I still need guidance about my next job.
I still need guidance about where to move.
Lord, my vestibular migraine seems better today. I pray that they would stop being a problem.
Show me how and where to enlarge the place of my tent.

Yay! I see a note that on July 27 – so one year after my stroke – I had worked two full pay periods without taking any leave at all. (But it did take a full year to get there.)

And on July 29, Timothy turned 18 years old! My baby was grown up!

And then in early August, before I heard the results of the Loudoun interview, I found out I’d get to interview for the Youth Services Manager position at City of Fairfax Regional Library, where I was already working.

At the same time, I was still very worried about my health. Lots of headaches, lots of neck pain. I got a referral to talk to a vascular surgeon. I was hoping maybe surgery would be the answer. (Spoiler: I never did convince a surgeon. And got quite a bit better over the next few years – though just this morning, in 2017, I woke up with my neck hurting precisely where my right vertebral artery is. But I haven’t had another stroke yet, anyway!)

However, despite my worries that day – the interview on August 13 went great!

My branch manager, Kathy, kept smiling encouragingly at me, so it was hard to be nervous! And it felt lovely that I knew the Fairfax staff was rooting for me – especially the two people I’d be supervising if I got the job. That vote of confidence really helped!

I was later told that all of the interviewers rated me the highest. And Kathy said I was the only one who mentioned working in the Virginia Room (added value to working at Fairfax).

But I have to say here – If I had never been cut from my job at Herndon, there’s no telling if I would have gotten this wonderful job at Fairfax (where I still am now). Getting RIF’d was horrible and devastating and sad – but then it brought me to Fairfax as a Librarian 1 – which put me in a great position to get the Youth Services Manager promotion.

And I still have that job and love it and am thriving here.

And I know God knew what was in store for me when I was praying that my job at Herndon wouldn’t get cut.

Just saying.

Oh, and look! On August 17, I got the call that I would be on the Newbery ballot the next March! Hooray! And so I started dreaming of being on the Newbery committee. I stopped participating in my email critique group (which hadn’t been real active lately anyway) and stopped sending out queries about my own writing. I figured this was my chance to be on the committee, and I could always keep trying to get published later. Theoretically, I was going to keep writing – but what actually happened was I let it go for awhile.

But meanwhile I was so excited to be on the ballot!!!

They told me not to tell anyone until the ballot was officially announced. Well, I didn’t find out when the ballot would be officially announced. And I didn’t go to Midwinter Meeting that next year, but when it finally rolled around, I was thinking, Can I tell people yet? (Yes, Sondy, they announced the ballot in November.)

Anyway, cutting to the chase: I ended up missing being elected by 15 votes out of more than 800 votes – that time. But this year, in 2017, I did get elected! And this is a much better time to be on the committee, what with my empty nest. And it’s all working out for good again!

Just saying.

I also have these pictures from August 19. I finished my Prime Factorization Scarf!

And I began my Prime Factorization Cardigan, using the same idea (and the same yarn) of using stripes for each number, rather than squares.

But then, on August 23rd, I took Tim to William and Mary for Orientation. Tim moved into the dorm, and I got a hotel room for a night. (The only time I spent a night when I went down there, but they had activities for parents, too.)

I laughed at the way Tim labeled this box. It had Flingshot inside, the monkey you can fling, and that screams when you do.

Here’s Tim’s new roommate!

Orientation stuff. We parents were up in the stands.

Williamsburg is beautiful. Over the next four years, I loved going down there to pick up Tim. We’d often have dinner outside, enjoying beautiful Williamsburg.

They have a fun tradition for Freshmen with a parade and fireworks!

And so began my Empty Nest. It hit me hard at the time, especially with my divorce being final so recently. (Well, at least the last court case finishing so recently.) I still say that if you still have your spouse, you don’t know what a truly Empty Nest is like.

However, now looking back, my nest didn’t seem so empty then. I mean, I got Tim back for vacations! Now he lives on the other side of the country….

But William and Mary was a good school for him. One lovely part was that Tim’s Dad lived nearby the college – so they could have all the time together they wanted during the school year. Tim came to me during vacations. But no negotiating whatsoever had to be done by me.

I had a cold after I left Tim in Williamsburg, so I felt rather mopey for about a week. But it couldn’t last long!

I was now Youth Services Manager at a Regional Library!
I was on the Newbery ballot!
I’d applied (the third time) to be a Cybils judge, and I got it!
I was looking to buy a home!

So a new phase of life was starting… And it’s late, so I’ll write about it tomorrow!