15. Living Alone

Heron on the Housetop

Okay, I’ll admit it:  The last few days, maybe even few weeks (since I got back from visiting family on the west coast), I’ve had some bouts of the Empty Nest Blues.

My youngest son is doing a summer internship in Portland, Oregon this year.  He’s working at the same company my oldest works for.  He just turned 21.  He’s graduating after just one more semester; and he’s talking about moving back to Portland after he does.

On top of that, it seems lately I’ve gotten more than my share of bozos and scammers contacting me on the online dating site I’m on — all emphasizing that I’m living alone.

Mind you, my mind is fine with it.  I enjoy living alone!  But my heart is missing my kids, missing having a husband who’s in love with me, and, well, a little extra prone to the blues lately.

However — there are many, many wonderful things about living alone.  And I’m going to continue to go over and over those blessings in my mind — and hope the message will eventually get to my heart.

First, living alone is much, much better than living with a husband who actively dislikes me and is working to tear me down and explain why he can’t possibly live with me.  Enough said.

It’s amazing how much less time I have to spend on chores like cleaning and cooking and shopping.  I don’t have to clean up after anyone except myself!

I can play music I love as loud as I want and as long as I want.  No one is bothered a bit.

I can read as late as I want with the lights on.  No one is bothered a bit.

I can go to my gaming group every Friday night without finding out if anyone else wants to go and without feeling like I’m neglecting anyone.

I can jaunt off to the Smithsonian on a whim if I want to.

I can live in a smallish, cozy condo which I chose based on what I like (the view) and which has no yard work whatsoever.

I can be as active in my church as I wish to be — arrive early and leave late.  I’m not bothering anyone if I linger and talk.

I can spend lots of time working on my website, and again, I’m not bothering anyone by not spending time with them.  (See also less time doing chores and more time reading.)

I’m working on writing a book.  Again, spending time doing this doesn’t bother anyone.

I can do a jigsaw puzzle on the dining room table or coffee table, and it’s not in anyone’s way.

Groceries cost an impressive amount less.

I can have just as long a quiet time every day as I want.  I can memorize verses by reading them out loud — no one notices.

I can sing at the top of my lungs.

I can surround myself with things I love (meaning books, yarn, and games).

And… you know what?  I think it’s time to give my sister a call.  But I can do that, too!

Honestly, I’m telling my heart — there’s an up side….

Am I protesting too much?  No, these are indeed wonderful things.  And I really do believe that God loves me and is with me and looking after me.  I do not want to pray for patience in this season of life — I want to pray to enjoy it fully.

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