Blame is a way we lie to ourselves. It is not just a way of refusing to look at who we are or avoiding responsibility. It is also a defense against knowing our pain. To face that pain is to begin to mourn what was too overwhelming to be mourned before. To face it and not blame it on the person who happened to stir it up is certainly the road less taken.
— Robert Karen, PhD, The Forgiving Self, p. 36-37