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Sonderquotes

Quotations collected by Sondra Eklund

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Search Results for: Bader Pearson

10 Posts
Sep 30, 2008

Synergy of Honesty

Marriage, Relationships, Truth 0

When the going gets tough, the tough get honest.  Lying and evading is the easy way out; honesty takes effort.  For one person, putting effort into the relationship means speaking…

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Jul 25, 2008

Empowering Yourself

Forgiveness, Letting Go, Marriage, Relationships 0

Recognize that what your partner does is a problem, but it’s not the problem.  The problem is how you react to what your partner does.  If you make your partner…

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Jul 10, 2008

Listening

Letting Go, Marriage, Relationships 0

Go on the presumption that your partner has a bigger picture.  You may not see it now, and it may not be logical, but it will make emotional sense if…

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Jun 28, 2008

Neither is Blameless

Marriage, Relationships 0

Make the assumption that neither of you is blameless.  Ironically, this reduces the pressure to twist the truth in order to be “right.” — Ellyn Bader, PhD, and Peter T.…

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Jun 10, 2008

Give Up Winning

Letting Go, Marriage, Relationships 0

Give up the notion that an argument can be won.  People desperately want to win because prevailing and “winning” seem the only way out.  When you try to win each…

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May 17, 2008

Truth and Connection

Marriage, Truth 0

When your partner is making changes that you don’t know how to handle, don’t fall into the lie of “It’s okay.  It doesn’t bother me.”  Quick dismissals push the other…

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May 7, 2008

Stay Curious

Marriage, Relationships 0

The key here is going slowly and staying curious.  Again and again, we have seen couples turn things around simply by asking a lot of questions in the spirit of…

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Apr 12, 2008

Emerging Differences

Marriage, Relationships, Truth 0

At some point in a marriage, differences erupt.  It was pleasant to dwell in the fiction that nothing could blight the serenity you shared.  You could smirk at couples who…

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Mar 25, 2008

Growth

Forgiveness, Marriage, Relationships 0

Acknowledge that you’re going to disappoint your partner sometime; no one can fulfill all of another person’s fantasies.  This may be uncomfortable, but it actually suggests that the relationship is…

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Mar 25, 2008

Discontent Fuels Growth.

Life, Love, Marriage, Relationships 0

Discontent is what fuels growth — in marriage, in oneself, and in institutions.  It’s what propels you to come up with creative solutions and to seek novelty and change.  Merely…

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