This one’s an explanation. I’ve collected quotations since I was in high school. Lately, for some reason, I haven’t been as struck by quotations in the books I’ve been reading. So I’m going back through my notebook where I wrote down quotations when I was in college. If you see quotations without a page number, they are probably those old quotations — and fun for me to remember!
— Sondra Eklund
We cannot force others to change. We can offer them a positive mental atmosphere where they have the possibility to change if they wish. But we cannot do it for or to other people. Each person is here to work out his or her own lessons, and if we fix it for them, then they will just go and do it again, because they have not worked out what they needed to do for themselves. All we can do is love them. allow them to be who they are. Know that the truth is always within them and that they can change at any moment they want.
— Louise L. Hay, Heart Thoughts, p. 167
Take our eyes off the future and the enormity of the task. If we have envisioned the goal, it will be ours. We do not have to do everything today, or at once.
Focus on today. Focus on the belief that all is well. All we need to do to reach our goal is to focus on what presents itself naturally, and in an orderly way, to us today. We shall be empowered to accomplish, peacefully, what we need to get where we want to be tomorrow.
— Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go, p. 162
Warning: Forgiveness and opening up to more abuse are not the same thing. Forgiveness has to do with the past. Reconciliation and boundaries have to do with the future. Limits guard my property until someone has repented and can be trusted to visit again. And if they sin, I will forgive again, seventy times seven. But I want to be around people who honestly fail me, not dishonestly deny that they have hurt me and have no intent to do better. That is destructive for me and for them. If people are owning their sin, they are learning through failure. We can ride that out. They want to be better, and forgiveness will help. But if someone is in denial, or only giving lip service to getting better, without trying to make changes, or seeking help, I need to keep my boundaries, even though I have forgiven them.
— Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, Boundaries, p. 263
Walking away doesn’t mean agreeing with your adversary. On the contrary, it means nothing more than that you have made the choice to disengage. These days, I actually relish every opportunity to let a situation pass me by that would have engaged my ire in the past. I feel empowered every time I make this choice.
— Karen Casey, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow, p. 18
For a Christian, however, a bottom-line principle can never be that we should get what we deserve. Our very existence is God’s gift. Our redemption from the snares of sin is God’s gift. Both are undeserved, and neither could have been deserved. From start to finish, we are always given free of charge and given more than our due. It is therefore only fitting that we give others more than their due — give them gifts that satisfy their needs or delight their senses and imagination, and give them the gift of forgiveness that frees them from guilt and the obligation to pay for their misdeeds.
— Miroslav Volf, Free of Charge, p. 203-204
Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of “systematically assisting Sisyphus’s stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister,” which is easier done than said.
— Lemony Snicket, Horseradish, p. 159
It is the smaller annoyances, and our negative responses to them, that kill happiness between partners. That criticism can quickly build into resentment…. It is our inability to let go of daily relationship hassles that causes the most decay in our relationship, not the infrequent big disasters.
— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 52
What non-knitters are missing is the personality-enhancing qualities of knitting. Knitting is a miracle worker. With knitting, people can suddenly do things they couldn’t do before. They can wait in line without becoming impatient. They can sit through a grade-school concert with a smile. They can handle long meetings and lectures, all without bothering other people or pacing around like lunatics.
— Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, Knitting Rules, p. 11
What you cannot get from others is your core value, your internal sense of importance, value, worthiness, equality, and personal power — your ability to act according to your own deepest values. These are too personal and too important to rely on the advice or behavior of others. They must be self-regulated.
— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 116