“I’m convinced that we use resentment and anger to punish loved ones, not so much for their behavior as for the pain we feel from our reflections in the mirror of love. In other words, it’s what we take their behavior to mean about us that causes us distress, resentment, and anger.”
— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 48
“One of the wonderful things about God’s immutable character is that we’re not going to tempt Him to sin when we take our negative feelings to Him…. Pouring whatever is in our hearts out to God dramatically decreases our tendency to grow bitter.”
— Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word, p. 235
“I wanted to make sure we addressed the importance of praying about someone who has hurt you because it is such a vital part of breaking free. Be honest with God. Pour your heart out to Him. Tell Him the things that hurt you. Tell on the one who injured you. Search the psalms to receive further permission to speak your heart, then practice it — from your own heart with your own words!… and don’t stop until all the bitter waters have been poured out before God, and He’s had a chance to begin pouring living water back in. ‘Trust in Him at all times!'”
— Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word, p. 239-40
“The road to psychological ruin begins with blame.
“The road to psychological power begins with responsibility.
“You cannot blame and find good solutions at the same time….
“Blame is always about the past. Solutions must occur in the present and future.
“Blame obscures solutions by locking you into the problem and by focusing attention on damage, injury, defects, and weakness, on what is wrong. Blame makes you feel like a powerless victim.”
– Steven Stosny, The Powerful Self, p. 112
“Be prepared to recommit to forgiveness every single day until you’re free.”
–Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word, p. 221
“Forgiveness is not defined by a feeling, although it will ultimately change our feelings. . . . Forgiveness is our determined and deliberate willingness to let something go. To release it from our possession. To be willing and ready for it to no longer occupy us. God is not asking us to let ‘it’ go haphazardly into the black hole of nonexistence. Forgiveness means letting it go to God. Letting it go from our power to His. Forgiveness is the ongoing act by which we agree with God over the matter, practice the mercy He’s extended to us, and surrender the situation, the repercussions, and the hurtful person to Him.”
— Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word
“If only we could understand that God’s unrelenting insistence on our forgiveness is for our own sakes, not the sake of the one who hurt us. God is faithful. He will plead our case and take up our cause . . . but only when we make a deliberate decision to cease representing ourselves in the matter.”
— Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word, p. 220
“God works against evil and suffering. But God, in immense divine power and inscrutable divine wisdom, also works through evil and suffering.”
–Miroslav Volf, Free of Charge:Â Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace, p. 30
“No matter how different the rest of our challenges may be, every believer can count on a multitude of challenges to forgive. Remember, God’s primary agenda in the life of a believer is to conform the child into the likeness of his Son, Jesus Christ. No other word sums up His character in relationship to us like the word forgiving. We never look more like Christ than when we forgive; since that’s God’s goal, we’re destined for plenty of opportunities!”
–Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word, p. 219
“There is a great deal of ‘how to’ literature about keeping love alive that can be distilled into two words: persistent effort. When we are held back, pushed aside, ignored, hurt, rejected, we must be like the heart that keeps beating even in the damaged body; we must persist. If we are not prepared to be resilient in love, we need to be prepared for a short relationship!
“Nearly everyone is guilty of having thrown up their hands in despair over some seemingly loveless act or unsolvable problem in relating. Every attempt at rectifying the situation seemed to push us into another dizzying failure until we finally lost the motivation, if not the reason, to try once more.
“Since we cannot live without love, we must rise up and try again. It helps if we keep in mind that there are few obstacles that can resist perseverance, determination, patience, and most of all, more love.”
–Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love, p. 33