At the heart of any real intimacy is a certain vulnerability. It is hard to trust someone with your vulnerability unless you can see in them a matching vulnerability and know that you will not be judged. In some basic way it is our imperfections and even our pain that draws others close to us.
— Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D., Kitchen Table Wisdom, p. 113
God, in his faithfulness is changing me…. Instead of making me into someone else, he is making me more me. And that is one of the beautiful things about him. That the more his we become, the more ourselves we become; more our true selves…. To have a gentle and quiet spirit is to have a heart of faith, a heart that trusts in God, a spirit that has been quieted by his love and filled with his peace. Not a heart that is striving and restless.
— Stasi Eldredge & John Eldredge, Captivating, p. 134
To love others without feeling the need to trap or control them requires trust that your needs will all be met, withor without the other person’s cooperation. You must be absolutely sure that loving connection can encompass any level of difference without disappearing. You don’t have to trust the other person. You must only trust that your needs will be met no matter what that person may do.
— Martha Beck, Steering by Starlight, p. 198
The fact is, we always have the choice to turn from a problem focus to a resolution focus. We get to choose how big we want to make a problem. We don’t have to do things the way we’ve always done them. This is a huge revelation for many of us. We can disengage from any situation. We can say nothing or simply walk away. A great beginning is simply to see problems as opportunities to let God into our lives. Take it from me. The sense of personal empowerment that accompanies letting God handle the problem while we attend to watching for the solution is life changing.
— Karen Casey, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow, p. 134
I think the main thing is, if there is any confusion or doubt as to what you should do, to err on the side of trusting that God can do the impossible….
God can do immeasurably more than you could ever ask or imagine. He can heal your heart, and he can resurrect your marriage, no matter what state it’s in.
As mere humans, we tend to limit God, especially in this extreme type of situation. But where there is room for repentance, there is also room for forgiveness and grace. If you can’t imagine such a miracle in your situation, choose to believe that God can and does. And in practicing that power you possess to believe God and take him at his word, you will find the strength to commit to acting on that belief. As we know from experience, reconciliation is a matter of trust, and it begins between you and God.
We didn’t have to remarry; biblically, the grounds for divorce were sound. But that doesn’t negate the truth that God created marriage to be the foundation of the family, and he created the family to be the foundation of society. The best thing we can do for ourselves, our children, and our society as a whole is to preserve marriages. If you choose to give up your right to your ego and your pain and walk the road of forgiveness and grace, you are glorifying God and living according to his purpose. You are giving an immense gift to yourself, your spouse, and your children. If you allow God to heal your heart and bolster you with his grace and love, choosing to walk the difficult path, you will never regret it.
— Cheryl & Jeff Scruggs, I Do Again, p. 174-176
Living in confident expectation means using your energy most efficiently; it’s the way to live life by design rather than by default. Direct your energy! Remember, it doesn’t matter how much you want something. Wanting is self-perpetuating — if that’s where your energy is focused, you’ll just get more wanting.
— Victoria Castle, The Trance of Scarcity, p. 121
We had already seen how God takes the trauma in our lives and uses it “for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28). We’d learned about trusting God even when it seemed crazy to do so, and we’d seen firsthand the amazing power of forgiveness.
— Cheryl & Jeff Scruggs, I Do Again, p. 153
Something bad happens. I hurt. I feel unhappy. I long to feel good. I ask God for help. I am resolved to feel better. I do whatever I can to make at least a few dreams come true. That is the way of the flesh.
Something bad happens. I hurt. I feel unhappy. I long to feel good. But I trust God. His pleasure matters more than mine. But His pleasure includes mine. I believe that. So I abandon myself to His pleasure. I live to please Him. I work hard and live responsibly and strive to put balance in my life because that pleases Him. Making Him feel good is a higher priority than making me feel good. And somehow, inevitably, at some point, I discover joy. That is the way of the Spirit.
I shift from walking in the way of the flesh to walking in the way of the Spirit when the pain of life destroys my confidence in my ability to make life work and when it exposes as intolerable, insubordinate arrogance my demand to feel good. That is the experience of brokenness. It is then that the chain falls off my leg and the heavy ball rolls away. It is then that I fly.
— Larry Crabb, Shattered Dreams, p. 153-154
No one has felt hurt due to compassion, although many people have been harmed by unwise trust. Compassion makes us less likely to trust unwisely, as it provides deeper understanding of the danger presented by those unable to regulate core hurts.
— Steven Stosny, Manual of the Core Value Workshop, p. 36
Can you think of any need you have that would require more strength than God exercised to raise the dead?
— Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word Day by Day, p. 253