Truths to Remember

Core Value, God, Love, Marriage, Trials, Truth 0

When things get hard in a marriage, it can feel like the foundations of your life are giving way. It is good to remember that our foundation is firm, based on the finished work of Jesus Christ for us. There are some things that remain true, at all times and for all of God’s children no matter what. It’s good to let your mind and your heart rest in these truths. Read these aloud. Remember:

I am loved.
I am secure.
I am forgiven.
God is with me.

… For the storms will come, beloved. The wind will howl and the waters will rise. And Jesus, who calmed the storm, who is indeed able to calm all storms, is now and ever will be your help in times of trouble.

— John and Stasi Eldredge, Love and War, p. 174

One Sure Love

God, Healing, Love, Marriage 0

If all the pain of the world were gathered together, and sorted by cause into great basins, the vast majority of tears would fill an ocean entitled “Unloved.” Because love is the deepest longing of the human heart — however hard we might try to pretend otherwise. When things get painful in our marriage, the arrows that pierce our hearts carry some message of You are not loved. The arrows might be Rejection, or Anger, or Betrayal, or Blaming, or even Silence. But the message is the same: You are no longer loved; you never really have been. We have got to anchor our heart in the one sure Love. You are now, you always have been, and you will forever be loved. It might help to say that to yourself, every day. Maybe every hour. This is the boat that carries your heart right across that ocean of pain to the safe haven of God.

— John and Stasi Eldredge, Love and War, p. 172

God’s Best

God, Growth, Love, Trials 0

If we believe that God does his best for every man and woman, we must also believe that God knows every person’s needs, and will, for love’s sake, not spare one pang that may serve to purify the soul of one of his children.

— George MacDonald, Wisdom to Live By, p. 21

My Job as a Parent

Compassion, Connection, Love, Parenting, Teenagers 0

It is always a relief to be reminded that my job is not to control, or judge, or change my son, but simply to help him remember, with words and touch, who he really is. Loving him this way, I am better able to find within myself the faith and patience necessary to survive his painful transformations. I know to hold a space for his beauty, even when it slips from sight. And I come a little bit closer to understanding his true essence, to remembering the goodness that resides just beneath the surface of even his very worst behavior, behavior that is usually rooted in fear and confusion and self-protection.

— Katrina Kenison, The Gift of an Ordinary Day, p. 169-170

It’s All About Love.

God, Life, Love 0

This is, after all, a love story.

Why else would love be the deepest yearning of our hearts?

Isn’t love the greatest joy of human existence? And the loss of love our greatest sorrow? Do not the two great commands confirm this? “Love the Lord your God with all your heart . . . and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). Love, for this is your destiny. Love God, and love each other. The banners that fly over God’s kingdom are the banners of love. It’s not about Bible study and faithful church attendance, not even dutiful marriage. Take the heart out of all that and it will absolutely kill you. This story is meant to be a passionate love affair. “I have loved you,” God says, “with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3).

We live in a love story, a romance written before the foundations of the earth. Aren’t the most impassioned pleas of the Bible directed toward love?

— John and Stasi Eldredge, Love & War, p. 27

Forgiveness

Forgiveness, Letting Go, Love 0

Lack of forgiveness is perhaps the most common block to truly loving and to moving on in life. We stay stuck, holding someone on a hook while of course, in order to do so, we must continue to hold the other end! We need to forgive, and also to accept forgiveness for ourselves. It’s a pity to let someone take up part of your heart and stay fixated on something that’s past. Loving means letting go, and sometimes it also means deciding that the relationship as it was is over.

— Dr. Brenda Davies, Unlocking the Heart Chakra, p. 48

Love Is Magic.

Growth, Love 0

And love is magic! The more love we give away, the more we have. And the more we love, the better we feel about ourselves, the happier we are, the more creative we feel. A bonus is that those who actively love, live longer!

Love is the most therapeutic commodity known, a powerful antidote to all ills, to hatred which infects great areas of the world and the fear that prevents us from denouncing it.

Dr. Brenda Davies, Unlocking the Heart Chakra, p. 41

Grace the World with Your Dance

Core Value, God, Life, Love 0

God really does want you to know who you are. He wants you to be able to understand the story of your life, to know where you have come from, and to know where you are going. There is freedom there. Freedom to be and to offer and to love….

Whatever your particular calling, you are meant to grace the world with your dance, to follow the lead of Jesus wherever he leads you. He will lead you first into himself; and then, with him, he will lead you into the world that he loves and needs you to love.

— John & Stasi Eldredge, Captivating, p. 216, 217

Doing All the Work

Letting Go, Love, Relationships 0

Doing all the work in a relationship is not loving, giving, or caring. It is self-defeating and relationship-defeating. It creates the illusion of a relationship when in fact there may be no relationship. It enables the other person to be irresponsible for his or her share. Because that does not meet our needs, we ultimately feel victimized….

Are we doing all the waiting, the hoping, the work?

We can let go. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be, and it will become what it is meant to be. We do not help that process by trying to control it. We do not help ourselves, the other person, or the relationship by trying to force it or by doing all the work.

Let it be. Wait and see. Stop worrying about making it happen. See what happens and strive to understand if that is what you want.

— Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go, p. 325