Walking beside others is what we are here to do. That’s why others have gathered. But walking side by side is far different than pushing our specific direction on someone else. If our motive is to express joy about another’s journey, allowing her or him to have what fits for them, we are fulfilling God’s will for us. If, instead, we are directing traffic, we have usurped God’s role in their lives, and it’s time to back off.
— Karen Casey, Let Go Now, p. 77
Coming to appreciate that we are not powerless over what we nurture in our minds, that we are, in fact, in charge of our thoughts, gives us the hope and the promise that we can feel however we want to feel. We can be as happy, as hopeful, or as miserable as we want to be. No thought can hold us hostage. No feeling can hold us hostage. No person can hold us hostage. We are as free as we want to be. This gives us all the ammunition we will ever need to know that all is well. Always, all is well.
— Karen Casey, Let Go Now, p. 60
If you are going to enter this divine dance we call prayer, you have to surrender your desire to be in control, to figure out how prayer works.
— Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life, p. 121
Resolve to focus on what you know to be true. If anyone defined you, told you who you are, what you want, think, or feel, they were lying to you. You don’t have to prove they were wrong. In fact, trying to prove they were wrong, or trying to convince them they were wrong about you, diverts all your energy away from your own development, from rediscovering what is true about you. That is what counts. You count.
When you tell someone to stop defining you, you act from truth….
When you act on your truth, the universe supports you in such a way that sometimes obstacles are later seen as stepping-stones.
— Patricia Evans, Victory Over Verbal Abuse, p. 132
[Photo: Waterside Inn, Chincoteague, October 22, 2016]
We live our deepest soul’s desires not by intending to change who we are but by intending to be who we are. And clearly our intention — to change or to be who we are — profoundly shapes how we live, what we believe we must do to learn, whether we feel we must ceaselessly push ourselves to reach higher or simply find the courage and confidence to allow who we are to unfold. The latter view calls for choices that support and expand our essentially compassionate nature, while the former aims to reshape our essentially flawed nature with heroic efforts of endless trying.
— Oriah Mountain Dreamer, The Dance, p. 8
Your partner is responsible for his own well-being. Deeply loving women struggle with caring profoundly for partners who are not good for them. They care for them with a love and a sensitivity to their spirits that their partners are not giving themselves — and certainly are not offering in return. It is a challenge to find a way to fully honor a partner who is embroiled in addiction, or who is suffering emotionally in other ways, but who periodically is cruel to you. And it can be unimaginably painful to leave a partner you love who is self-destructing.
Your partner’s relationships with others, his spiritual path, and his inner life are his own. If he grows and changes, it will not be because you repaired his relationships, found a spiritual path for him, or learned the inner workings of his psyche. When — if — he changes, it will be because he did these things himself. You can lay out your requirements or even outline resources for him, but then you must step away.
— Lundy Bancroft, Should I Stay or Should I Go?
We are part of an orchestra, you and I. We each have a song, a tune, to play. Yours isn’t mine, and vice versa. Being in charge of our own notes is the ultimate lesson for each one of us.
— Karen Casey, Let Go Now, p. 59
Reaching a state of well-being that isn’t reliant on anyone else’s actions is what we all hope for and what most of us strive for. Celebrating our worthiness, regardless of how others might be responding to us, isn’t a natural act. We seem to be far too dependent on others telling us that we are okay, either through words or deeds. The joy of experiencing a moment, now and then, when we simply know we are fine regardless of what others are doing or saying is so much appreciated.
— Karen Casey, Let Go Now, p. 45
Suffering is always optional. This is a wonderful bit of wisdom to cherish on a daily basis.
— Karen Casey, Let Go Now, p. 32
Detachment is a loving act and quite often a very difficult one. Usually we have to consciously make the decision to let someone else chart their own course and thus define their own life. We mistakenly think that since we are traveling together, we should be able to influence the direction a friend or lover takes, but that’s not the case. Possibly, our opinion will be sought, and in some cases adhered to, but there are no guarantees. We travel side by side because of the lessons we share, and one of the lessons we all have to learn, it seems, is that we cannot control the actions, the opinions, or the decisions anyone else makes.
— Karen Casey, Let Go Now, p. 31