Seeing the Inner Light

Core Value, Healing, Parenting, Relationships 0

True healers take into account any type of darkness, but their real task is to see the Light in their clients so as to help them remember and consciously reconnect to their own inner Light. In this way, both healer and client are healed together. Parenting is the same. The ultimate gift of a parent to a child is to care for the inner Light of children until they can care for it themselves. True friends are those who believe in you through thick and thin. They still see the Light in you even when your moods and behavior are dark and low. Mentors, managers, leaders, visionaries, peacemakers, and everyone who truly serves . . . they all see the Light.

— Robert Holden, PhD, Happiness Now! p. 29

The Place We’d Rather Live

Compassion, Forgiveness, Healing 0

In the aftermath of catastrophic wounds, an obsessive, demonizing hatred may be mobilized to help us survive. And yet here, too, understanding eventually becomes the desirable thing, if for no other reason than we don’t want to keep feeling like victims and living in hate. It rarely hurts us to be more generous. In many cases, even if the grievousness of the wrong is never acknowledged or atoned for, we may want to feel our way back to a caring place. It’s the place we’d rather live.

— Robert Karen, PhD, The Forgiving Self, p. 175-176

God Can Redeem Anything.

God, Guidance, Healing, Marriage 0

Our experience has taught us that God can redeem anything, so we never give up on anyone….

What we wanted to do with this book was offer hope for marriages through a paradigm shift. It comes from taking a different perspective — getting your eyes off yourself and putting them on the Lord.

We have a passionate desire to see marriages changed, made whole, and restored. Our prayer is that more and more marriages will epitomize God’s plan, not society’s. Although the world seems to hold virtually no hope for marriages and families being restored, we want to spread the word that “by his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope” (Ephesians 3:20, NLT). It is possible for a marriage to be made brand-new!

If you can trust God to show you the bigger picture of your marriage, he will do it. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” In other words, he will direct you and make it clear where you are to go.

— Cheryl & Jeff Scruggs, I Do Again, p. 178, 183

Working Out for Good

Forgiveness, Gratitude, Growth, Healing, Joy, Letting Go, Life, Peace, Truth 0

Noticing and counting the beautiful reasons unexpected things happen for us ends the mystery. If you miss the real reasons, the benevolent reasons that coincide with kind nature, then count on depression to let you know that you missed them. Anger, frustration, and aggressive reasons can always be imagined — and what for? People who aren’t interested in seeing why everything is good get to be right. But that apparent rightness comes with disgruntlement, and often depression and separation. Depression can feel serious. So “counting the genuine ways that this unexpected event happened for me, rather than to me” isn’t a game. It’s an exercise in observing the nature of life. It’s a way of putting yourself back into reality, into the kindness of the nature of things.

— Byron Katie, I Need Your Love — Is That True?, p. 187

Suffering No Proof of Love

Compassion, Healing, Love 0

It’s amazing how many people believe that suffering is a proof of love. If I don’t suffer when you suffer, they think, it means that I don’t love you. How can that possibly be true? Love is serene; it’s fearless. If you’re busy projecting what someone’s pain must feel like, how can you be fully present with her? How can you hold her hand and love her with all your heart aas she moves through her experience of pain? Why would she want you to be in pain, too? Wouldn’t she rather have you present and available?…

You don’t have to feel bad to act kindly. On the contrary: the less you suffer, the kinder you naturally become. And if compassion means wanting others to be free of suffering, how can you want for others what you won’t give to yourself?

— Byron Katie, A Thousand Names for Joy, p. 73, 74

Doorway to Growth

Forgiveness, Growth, Healing, Marriage 0

You don’t have to forgive because they deserve it. Frankly, they don’t. But just as Jesus chose to forgive us even before we’d repented, the choice to forgive opens the way for the most meaningful growth we can experience in life. If you think you can’t possibly forgive, do it instead to set yourself free from that pain. Do it in hopes that trust will one day return. But do it soon, and accept that it’s simply a part of living life.

— Cheryl & Jeff Scruggs, I Do Again, p. 177

Immeasurably More

Forgiveness, God, Healing, Marriage, Trust 0

I think the main thing is, if there is any confusion or doubt as to what you should do, to err on the side of trusting that God can do the impossible….

God can do immeasurably more than you could ever ask or imagine.  He can heal your heart, and he can resurrect your marriage, no matter what state it’s in.

As mere humans, we tend to limit God, especially in this extreme type of situation.  But where there is room for repentance, there is also room for forgiveness and grace.  If you can’t imagine such a miracle in your situation, choose to believe that God can and does.  And in practicing that power you possess to believe God and take him at his word, you will find the strength to commit to acting on that belief.  As we know from experience, reconciliation is a matter of trust, and it begins between you and God.

We didn’t have to remarry; biblically, the grounds for divorce were sound.  But that doesn’t negate the truth that God created marriage to be the foundation of the family, and he created the family to be the foundation of society.  The best thing we can do for ourselves, our children, and our society as a whole is to preserve marriages.  If you choose to give up your right to your ego and your pain and walk the road of forgiveness and grace, you are glorifying God and living according to his purpose.  You are giving an immense gift to yourself, your spouse, and your children.  If you allow God to heal your heart and bolster you with his grace and love, choosing to walk the difficult path, you will never regret it.

— Cheryl & Jeff Scruggs, I Do Again, p. 174-176