A Mental Shift

Gratitude, Life, Peace 0

Gratitude is indeed like a gearshift that can move our mental mechanism from obsession to peacefulness, from stuckness to creativity, from fear to love.  The ability to relax and be mindfully present in the moment comes naturally when we are grateful.  One of the most delightful aspects of my Jewish heritage is the saying of Brachot, blessings or prayers of thanksgiving throughout the day.  These are praises of God for creating a world of infinite wonder and possibility.  There is a blessing upon seeing a star or a rainbow.  There is a blessing for the gifts of food, wine, and water.  There is even a blessing upon going to the bathroom for internal organs that function so well!

Joan Z. Borysenko, PhD, Gratitude: A Way of Life, by Louise L. Hay and Friends, p. 11

Feelings and Circumstances

Life, Peace, Truth 0

From my vantage point, you’d have seen many, many people who are deeply loved and still lonely, beautiful and still horribly self-conscious, professionally successful and still so terrified of failure that their nocturnal tooth-gnashing could crush diamonds.  Here’s something you’ll need to hold in your mind, at least temporarily, if you want to get a good look at your own North Star:  External circumstances do not create feeling states.  Feeling states create external circumstances.

— Martha Beck, Steering by Starlight: Find Your Right Life No Matter What!, p. 6

Powerlessness Over Other People

Letting Go, Peace, Relationships 0

Accepting our powerlessness over other people doesn’t come without strong resistance, intense mental focus, near constant practice of letting go, and unyielding willingness to understand that other people simply can’t be controlled!  Our disbelief about our powerlessness is evident everywhere — in our dysfunctional homes, among disgruntled employees, within the power structure of every government around the world.  Every war ever fought is strong evidence that people everywhere continue to believe they have the power to control others.  However, one side seldom wins.  More commonly, the vanquished simply give up.

If having a peaceful life is our goal, then we must give up unpeaceful behaviors.  Making the decision to free all of those people in our lives from our misguided attempts to control them is a great first step.

— Karen Casey, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow, p. 64

Whose Business?

Letting Go, Peace 0

The next time you’re feeling stress or discomfort, ask yourself whose business you’re in mentally, and you may burst out laughing!  That question can bring you back to yourself.  And you may come to see that you’ve never really been present, that you’ve been mentally living in other people’s business all your life.  Just to notice that you’re in someone else’s business can bring you back to your own wonderful self.

— Byron Katie, Loving What Is, p. 3

Angry or Joyful

Joy, Letting Go, Life, Peace 0

Starting arguments, blaming others, or internalizing anger is not the way to go through life.  Treat the problem knowing that you will get through it, and you will be a better person because of it.  Remember, you can spend your life being angry or joyful.  You control only one thing: your thoughts.  So find the serenity within yourself.  Or as my wife says, “Never go to bed mad.  Stay up and fight.”  Keep your sense of humor, express your feelings, and recognize your power, and you will spend more time at peace than at war.

— Bernie Siegal, M.D., Love, Magic & Mudpies, p. 186

Don’t Get Ahead of Your Nose

God, Letting Go, Life, Peace 0

God’s presence can’t be experienced except moment by moment, and that means we have to show up in each moment.  Getting ahead of this moment in regard to our relationships, our vocations, our dreams, and aspirations simply prevents us from knowing God. . . .

In my role as a mentor to a number of young women, I often say, “Don’t get ahead of your nose.”  It’s a great reminder that one is projecting, and it quickly brings us back to the present.  I also suggest that whenever thoughts of the future come into your mind, you envision blowing them away.  This may sound silly but it’s effective.  I have used it for years.

Karen Casey, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow, p. 29

Making It Happen

Letting Go, Life, Peace 0

Stop trying so hard to make it happen.

Stop doing so much, if doing so much is wearing you out or not achieving the desired results.  Stop thinking so much and so hard about it.  Stop worrying so about it.  Stop trying to force, to manipulate, to coerce, or to make it happen.

Making things happen is controlling.  We can take positive action to help things happen.  We can do our part.  But many of us do much more than our part.  We overstep the boundaries from caring and doing our part into controlling, caretaking, and coercing.

Controlling is self-defeating.  It doesn’t work.  By overextending ourselves to make something happen, we may actually be stopping it from happening.

Do your part in relaxed, peaceful harmony.  Then let it go.  Just let it go.  Force yourself to let it go, if necessary.  “Act as if.”  Put as much energy into letting go as you have into trying to control.  You’ll get much better results.

— Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go, p. 206-207

Letting Go of How Others Live

Letting Go, Peace, Relationships 0

Our spouses, our friends, our family, our neighbors, even the strangers crossing our paths, must be who they are, not who we think they should be.  They must make their own mistakes and, through what they learn, have reason to celebrate their own successes.

There are many reasons for letting go of this futile behavior, but the most important ones are that we will never succeed in controlling others and never experience peace in our own lives if we are always focused on how other people are living or how we think they should be living.  If we want to be peaceful, we must let go of how others choose to live and take care of business in one life only:  our own.

— Karen Casey, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow, p. 9-10