Making a Point to Ourselves

Core Value, Healing, Truth 0

Trying excessively to make a point with another may mean that we have not yet made that point with ourselves.  Once we make that point with ourselves, once we understand, we will know what to do.

The issue is not about others understanding and taking us seriously.  The issue is not about others believing we’re good and good enough.  The issue is not about others seeing and believing how responsible or loving or competent we are.  The issue is not about whether others realize how deeply we are feeling a particular feeling.  We are the ones that need to see the light….

If I catch myself in the codependent trap of trying to emphasize something about myself to another, I will ask myself if I need to convince myself of that point.

— Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go, p. 204

Let Our Light Shine

Life, Truth 0

Let us remember that we are not here to convince men, but to let our light shine.

Knowledge is not necessarily light.  And it is light, not knowledge, that we have to spread.  The best thing we can do — infinitely the best, indeed the only thing — that men may receive the truth, is to be ourselves true.  Beyond all doing of good is the being good, for he that is good not only does good things, but all that he does is good.

— George MacDonald, Your Life in Christ, p. 213

The Truth of Myth

Truth 0

Nonetheless, myth is the closest approximation to truth available to the finite human being.  And the truth of myth is not limited by time or place.  A myth tells of that which was true, is true, and will be true.  If we will allow it, myth will integrate intellect and intuition, night and day; our warring opposites are reconciled, male and female, spirit and flesh, desire and will, pain and joy, life and death.

— Madeleine L’Engle, The Irrational Season, quoted by Carole F. Chase in Glimpses of Grace, p. 143

Let Your Light Shine.

Life, Love, Truth 0

It is not, Let your good works shine, but Let your light shine.

Let it be the genuine love of your hearts, taking form in true deeds, not the doing of good deeds to prove that your opinions are right.  If you are thus true, your very talk about the truth will be a good work, a shining of the light that is in you.  A true smile is a good work and may do much to reveal the Father who is in heaven.  But the smile that is put on for the sake of looking right, or even for the sake of being right, will hardly reveal him because it is not like him.

— George MacDonald, Your Life in Christ, p. 210

The Minds of Children

Children and Books, Truth, Writing 0

One reason nearly half my books are for children is the glorious fact that the minds of children are still open to the living word; in the child, nightside and sunside are not yet separated; fantasy contains truths which cannot be stated in terms of proof….  The most grownup of us is not very grownup at all… the most mature of us is pretty immature… we still have a vast amount to learn.

— Madeleine L’Engle, The Irrational Season, quoted in Glimpses of Grace, compiled by Carole F. Chase

Opinion

Love, Truth 0

Not for a moment would I endeavor by argument to convince another of this, my opinion.  If it be true, it is God’s work to show it, for logic cannot. . . .

Friends, I have not said we are not to speak our opinions.  I have only said we are not to make those opinions the point of a fresh start, the foundation of a new building, the groundwork of anything.  Opinions are not to occupy us in our dealings with our brethren.

Opinion is often the very death of love.  Love aright, and you will come to think aright.  And those who think aright must think the same.

In the meantime, it matters nothing.  The thing that does matter is, that whereto we have attained, by that we should walk.  But, while we are not to insist upon our opinions, which is the only one way of insisting upon ourselves — however we may cloak the fact from ourselves in the vain imagination of thereby spreading the truth — we are bound by the loftiest duty to spread the truth.  For that is the saving of men. . . .

I do insist upon a better and the only indispensable way of spreading truth — let your light shine.

— George MacDonald, Your Life in Christ, p. 208-209

Truth and Connection

Marriage, Truth 0

When your partner is making changes that you don’t know how to handle, don’t fall into the lie of “It’s okay.  It doesn’t bother me.”  Quick dismissals push the other person away and leave her guessing what your true feelings are.  It’s better to express the truth:  “I’m feeling threatened” or “I’m confused.”  Being truthful maintains the connection.

Recognize that listening to your partner is not the same as surrendering to his opinion.  Giving in to your partner may get you through a rocky moment, but it is not necessarily what your partner wants.  Acknowledging his heartfelt feelings doesn’t mean you have to agree with them.  The challenge is to reveal without capitulating or rebelling. . . .

The need to assert differences brings many couples to the brink, but once a couple can discuss what’s underneath those differences — what fuels different aspects of themselves — they learn profound truths about their partner.  They discover the extent of the other person’s convictions, the strengths of their commitments, and the impact their own behavior has on them.  Not only is it then possible to get through the immediate challenge, but they are able to understand each other in a deeper, more intimate way, which leaves them poised for still greater depths of understanding.

— Ellyn Bader, PhD, and Peter T. Pearson, PhD, Tell Me No Lies:  How to Stop Lying to Your Partner — and Yourself — in the 4 Stages of Marriage, p. 123-124

God Must Reveal

God, Truth 0

Opinion is, at best, even the opinion of a true man, but the cloak of his belief, which he may indeed cast to his neighbor, but not with the truth inside it.  That remains in his own bosom, the oneness between him and his God.  St. Paul knows well — who better? — that by no argument, the best that logic itself can afford, can a man be set right with the truth.  He knows that the spiritual perception which comes of hungering contact with the living truth — a perception which is in itself a being born again — can alone be the mediator between a man and the truth.  He knows that, even if he could pass his opinion over bodily into the understanding of his neighbor, there would be little or nothing gained from it.  For the man’s spiritual condition would be just what it was before.

God must reveal, or nothing is known.  And this, through thousands of difficulties occasioned by the man himself, God is ever and always doing his mighty best to accomplish.

— George MacDonald, Your Life in Christ, p. 202-203

The Great Joke

Letting Go, Life, Truth 0

“But of course!” said the Spirit, shining with love and mirth so that my eyes were dazzled.  “That’s what we all find when we reach this country.  We’ve all been wrong!  That’s the great joke.  There’s no need to go on pretending one was right!  After that we begin living.”

— from The Great Divorce, by C. S. Lewis