Beautiful Individuality

Core Value, God, Growth, Letting Go 0

Who will I be if I seek only to do God’s will? Will I become homogenized, somehow diluted? A look at the natural world is reassuring here. Each flower — the crocus, the lotus, the delphinium, to name only a few — has its own unique essence. Roses, daffodils, daisies, peopnies, chrysanthemums — each has its individual beauty. Dogs, too, come in all shapes and sizes: Rottweilers, cocker spaniels, Rhodesian ridgebacks, Pomeranians, German shepherds, Irish setters, Jack Russell terriers, golden Labradors. The natural world, surrendered to God from the very beginning, is filled with diversity. Each creature is its own imprint, a unique manifestation of the glory of God. So, too, we are unique. That uniqueness does not diminish as we move toward God in surrender.

As we move toward God, our natural individuality becomes more vivid.

— Julia Cameron, Faith and Will, p. 44

Shine

Core Value, Growth, Joy 0

Step out into the cool night air. Look at the stars. See how they shine. Know that it is okay for you to shine, too.

Who told you you had to hold back? Who told you your gifts, your talents, your beauty — your natural, beautiful, loving, delightful self — was wrong? Who told you not to be all you could be? Maybe, as some suggest, we’ve gotten too comfortable focusing on our flaws, our errors, our dark side. Perhaps it’s not our dark side we fear. Perhaps we’re really afraid of our gifts, our brilliance, our light.

Now is a time of light. It’s a time for us to shine. We’ve worked hard on ourselves, dealt with our issues, gone back to the past. We’ve learned our lessons well. The reasons to hold back and hide away are no longer there. Enjoy the fruits of your labors.

Be all you can be, and enjoy being that. Don’t hold back. Use your gifts with joy. Use your talents. Let your light shine for all the world to see.

— Melody Beattie, Journey to the Heart, p. 227

An Allelujia Chorus

Community, Connection, Core Value, Creativity, Friends 0

Being with real people who warm us, who endorse and exalt our creativity, is essential to the flow of creative life. Otherwise we freeze. Nurture is a chorus of voices both from within and without that notices the state of a woman’s being, takes care to encourage it, and if necessary, gives comfort as well. I’m not certain how many friends one needs, but definitely one or two who think your gift, whatever it may be, is pan de cielo, the bread of heaven. Every woman is entitled to an Allelujia Chorus.

— Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD, Women Who Run With the Wolves, p. 348

Truths to Remember

Core Value, God, Love, Marriage, Trials, Truth 0

When things get hard in a marriage, it can feel like the foundations of your life are giving way. It is good to remember that our foundation is firm, based on the finished work of Jesus Christ for us. There are some things that remain true, at all times and for all of God’s children no matter what. It’s good to let your mind and your heart rest in these truths. Read these aloud. Remember:

I am loved.
I am secure.
I am forgiven.
God is with me.

… For the storms will come, beloved. The wind will howl and the waters will rise. And Jesus, who calmed the storm, who is indeed able to calm all storms, is now and ever will be your help in times of trouble.

— John and Stasi Eldredge, Love and War, p. 174

Meaning in Trials

Core Value, Healing, Trials 0

These ten things — and I don’t care what you call them: ways, steps, practices, teachings — are things to do, to stop doing, to think of, to remember, and to become so that you can find your way through this very hard time. Their purpose is to show you that rather than being random assaults from an uncaring universe, the difficulties you are going through have meaning and purpose. Not only is your crisis here to get you to exercise your coping muscles, and therein to discover your strength; your problems also have a larger purpose. And that is to remind you of the quality of being that you truly are — powerful, loving, eternal.

— Daphne Rose Kingma, Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart, p. xvi-xvii

The True Me

Core Value, God, Growth, Life 0

What is inside me, the thing I love with, and the thing I think about God with, and the thing I love poetry with, the thing I read the Bible with — that thing God keeps on making bigger and bigger. That thing is me, and God will keep on making it bigger to all eternity, though he has not even got me into the right shape yet.

— George MacDonald, Wisdom to Live By, p. 30

Being With Me

Core Value, Joy, Life 0

If I can’t enjoy being with me, spending time alone with me, having fun with me, watching the sunset with me and taking long walks with me, how can I expect anyone else to want to? I do acknowledge that, for most people, many of these experiences are enhanced by sharing them, but try them alone with your soul. Breathe deeply into your heart and fill yourself with love and wonder.

— Brenda Davies, Unlocking the Heart Chakra, p. 75

Grace the World with Your Dance

Core Value, God, Life, Love 0

God really does want you to know who you are. He wants you to be able to understand the story of your life, to know where you have come from, and to know where you are going. There is freedom there. Freedom to be and to offer and to love….

Whatever your particular calling, you are meant to grace the world with your dance, to follow the lead of Jesus wherever he leads you. He will lead you first into himself; and then, with him, he will lead you into the world that he loves and needs you to love.

— John & Stasi Eldredge, Captivating, p. 216, 217

Validation from God

Core Value, God, Healing, Relationships 0

No man can tell you who you are as a woman. No man is the verdict on your soul…. Only God can tell you who you are. Only God can speak the answer you need to hear. That is why we spoke of the Romance with him first. It comes first. It must. It has to. Adam is a far too unreliable source — amen!

Now, yes, in a loving relationship, we are meant to speak to one another’s wounds. In love we can bring such deep joy and healing as we offer to one another our strength and beauty…. But our core validation, our primary validation has to come from God. And until it does, until we look to him for the healing of our souls, our relationships are really hurt by this looking-to-each-other for something only God can give.

— Stasi and John Eldredge, Captivating, p. 152-153

The Message of Your Pain

Compassion, Core Value, Healing, Relationships 0

Resentful, angry, and abusive people drastically misinterpret the message of their own pain. . . . The bad feelings your husband blames on you are telling him to improve, appreciate, connect, or protect, for those are the only things that can make him feel better. And your pain is giving you the exact same message. Even if your husband changes dramatically and replaces his resentment, anger, or abusive behavior with compassion, you still have to heed the message of your core hurts to improve, appreciate, connect, or protect. This means that your focus has to be on your own resources, not on your husband and not on outside supports.

— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 116